Am I a Good Dad?
I’ll be honest with you, some nights after the house is quiet, the toys are put away, and the kids are finally asleep, I sit there and wonder:
“Am I doing this right?”
“Am I a good dad?”
It’s not always easy to admit that out loud. Especially when it feels like every other dad has it all figured out. They're doing perfect pancake breakfasts, coaching little league, posting flex pics at 5AM with a smile and their toddler on their shoulders. Meanwhile, I’m just hoping I didn’t mess up bedtime too badly or lost my patience with them again. And honestly? That quiet voice of doubt never really goes away.
The Hidden Side of Fatherhood
The part they don’t show in most dad content is the mental weight we carry.
The stuff we don’t post:
- Losing patience after a long day.
- Worrying if we’re too distracted.
- Feeling like we’re not doing enough, not present enough, not playful enough
No manual, no cheat codes. Just trying to raise good humans while figuring it all out as we go. But here’s what I’ve learned, especially since becoming a dad who’s also trying to work on himself:
Doubt Isn’t a Sign of Weakness—It’s a Sign You Care
We tend to think confidence is the goal. That the best dads are the ones who never hesitate, who always know what to say, who make it all look easy. But maybe that’s not the full picture. Maybe the dads who worry, who question, who replay moments in their heads, those are the ones who are tuned in. The ones who are willing to grow, to adjust, to admit they don’t always get it right.
You don’t question your worth as a father unless you’re deeply invested in being a good one.
You Don’t Have to Be Perfect to Be Good
If you’re showing up, listening, trying, loving, and learning, you’re doing the job. It’s not about being perfect every day. It’s about being consistent over time.
Your kids won’t remember every mistake.
But they will remember if you kept showing up.
They’ll remember how you held their hand when they were scared. How you said sorry when you messed up. How you turned off your game to play theirs.
Comparing Yourself Is a Trap
We all know this, but it’s worth repeating: most people show the highlight reel, not the real life. That confident dad on Instagram might have self-doubt too. He just might not talk about it. Or maybe he struggles with something totally different that you can’t see from a picture or a 10-second story. The dad journey is full of invisible battles. So, give yourself grace.
You’re not a bad dad because you feel unsure sometimes.
You’re not a bad dad if you’re tired, or frustrated, or taking a moment to breathe.
You’re a dad who’s doing the work, even when it’s messy.
Final Thought: Keep Showing Up
That’s what this whole “Save Point Dad” idea is about. You don’t need to be perfect, you just need to save the progress. Learn from the hard moments. Hit pause when needed. Then load back in and try again.
So, if you’re reading this and doubting yourself; don’t.
Or do. But let that doubt fuel you, not freeze you.