If You’re Going to Be Bad at Your Job, At Least Be Kind

Meeting Debriefs

I am in meetings ALL damn day for work. They are in-person and virtual. There is a very specific kind of conversation that happens after a meeting ends between trusted coworkers. The fake smiles disappear. And then a debrief happens so everyone can confirm the meeting was pointless and that some people on the meeting just made everyone else’s job harder.

That happened to me recently like literally 5 minutes ago. After the meeting was over, my coworker called me and within seconds we were processing. Not in a shit talking way, but in a confused, how the hell is this shit still happening kind of way. 

We started talking about a colleague at another organization. We were not gossiping for entertainment (this time anyway). We were trying to understand some bullshit that genuinely impacts workflow, morale, and results.

The Nice But Shitty Employee

This person is okay at best at their job. They miss deadlines with impressive consistency. Their writing has tons of errors similar to mine. At one point I genuinely wondered if we were operating under different math systems. Projects do not collapse because of them, but they are definitely kind of wobbly.

But and this is a big one; they are kind and pleasant. Warm even. They respond to emails with gratitude. They apologize when they drop the ball and actually mean it. 

The crazy part is, everyone loves them. People protect them. People quietly fix their mistakes because they make the workplace better and more fun. They may struggle with their actual job, but they excel at being a kind person. 

The Mean and Shitty Employee

Now there is the opposite. Another colleague. Exact same issues. Deadlines are a suggestion at best. Emails go unanswered. Public speaking is terrible. Preparation does not appear to be their hobby.

But unlike the first person, they are not kind or pleasant to be around. They are sharp. Defensive. Hella mean. They have mastered the art of making simple collaboration feel like torture. A basic clarifying question somehow becomes an inconvenience to them.

Their reputation spreads before they enter a room. People warn others in advance. There is tension attached to their name. It is not just about shitty work. It is about how they make people feel around them.

At Least Be Kind

Both are shitty at their jobs, but only one struggles with kindness. Guess which one people defend. Guess which one people quietly avoid. 

This got me thinking about some simple life advice. If you are going to be shitty at your job, at least be kind. It sounds sarcastic, but it’s not. I see this as actual strategic job advice. It’s advice for surviving and thriving in professional environments.

Workplace kindness is needed. It directly impacts morale, productivity, collaboration, and long-term reputation.

You All Have Weak Spots at Work

We all have weaknesses at work. You do. My coworkers do. I don’t but I digress (JK). Nobody masters every aspect of their role. Most people are learning something in real time, even if they do not admit it out loud. When I taught at a local university I would basically review the textbook and watch YouTube videos of the content the night before class. This actually happens more than students realize. Teachers are basically a night ahead of them. 

Maybe you are figuring out budgets. Maybe public speaking makes you nervous. Maybe you need better writing skills, I fall into this category. Growth requires discomfort.

What does not require training, or should not in theory, is decency. You do not need a webinar to teach you to respond respectfully. You do not need college to be able to acknowledge mistakes. 

How to Make Work Worse

My best guess is when people feel insecure about their roles, they overcompensate with their tone. They get sharp. They get defensive. They hide behind how crazy busy they think they are. Almost like being intimidating will distract from being shitty at their jobs. 

It does not. I actually think it magnifies it. People begin to look for more of their faults.

When someone is both terrible at their job and mean as hell, their mistakes become easier to see. The mistakes feel bigger. Colleagues begin to feel the weight. 

This is how toxic workplaces start. Not through dramatic fights, but through consistent, low key tension layered on top of poor work.

There will be No Explanation, There Will Just be Reputation 

I have a very external facing job, meaning I work with people outside my organization more than people within my organization. Reputation spreads faster than job competence. If you are kind and struggle with your job, people will say, “They are doing their best.” If you are mean as hell and struggle with your job, people say, ”Be sure to document everything with them” or even worse “Try to limit interaction with them” That shift changes how opportunities flow.

Kind employees receive support. They receive second chances. They receive mentorship. Rude employees receive documentation at best and avoidance at worst.

Professionalism is not just about performance metrics. People’s past work experiences with you becomes your brand.

I am Stressed Too. WTF.

Everyone has a complex life. You do. I do. The person you snapped at does too. Stress is universal.

What has always irritated me is how people use their own stress to justify shitty behavior, but do not extend that grace to others. “I have a lot going on”, okay well I do too wtf.

Workplace kindness requires understanding that complexity runs both directions. 

If you are going to be shitty at your job, at least be pleasant. If you are learning, be humble. If you miss a deadline, own it. If you struggle with a skill, ask for help.

Mean plus being shitty at your job is a dangerous combination. It does not build authority. It builds resentment that compounds day by day. People don’t forget. People talk.

If You’re Struggling, Struggle Kindly

At the end of the day, we will not be remembered for a perfectly formatted spreadsheet. We will be remembered for how we treated people when things were messy. 

Guys you are going to struggle, so struggle nicely. Also, please tell me you caught the Taylor Swift quote. 

Thank you for reading. If this resonated with you or reminded you of a workplace jerk, feel free to share it. This space has grown because of your support. If you ever want to reach out directly, email me at savepointdad@gmail.com. If you haven't you can also follow along on Instagram @Savepointdad.