# SavePointDad > Fatherhood, fitness, gaming, and unsolicited life advice Public Ghost content for AI and LLM tooling. This file includes a bounded export of public pages first, then recent public posts. Append `.md` to any post or page URL to get the content in Markdown (for example, `/example-post.md`). ## Pages ### About this site URL: https://savepointdad.com/about/ Last updated: 2025-06-30T15:24:10.000Z Welcome to Save Point Dad, a corner of the internet for dads who are leveling up in real life. I’m a proud dad, gamer at heart, and a guy on a mission to get healthier. This space is about hitting pause, finding the humor in parenting, getting strong (mentally and physically), and embracing nostalgia through the games that shaped us. Whether you’re chasing PRs or Pokémon, drinking protein shakes or beers, this is your community. I’ll share thoughts on fatherhood, fitness, and video games, because being a dad doesn’t mean giving up the fun, it means finding new ways to play. Grab your controller. Let’s hit the next level together. Save Point Dad: Real life has no reset, but we’ve always got save points. ## **Fresh content, delivered** Stay up to date with new content sent straight to your inbox! No more worrying about whether you missed something because of a annoying algorithm or news feed. ### Terms of Use and Privacy Policy URL: https://savepointdad.com/terms-of-use-and-privacy-policy/ Last updated: 2025-07-23T03:50:47.000Z ### Terms of Use for SavePointDad.com **Effective Date:** July 22, 2025 Welcome to **SavePointDad.com** (“we,” “us,” “our,” or “the Site”). By accessing or using this website, you agree to comply with and be bound by the following Terms of Use. If you do not agree with these terms, please do not use the Site. ### 1\. **Use of Content** All content on SavePointDad.com — including blog posts, images, graphics, videos, logos, and text — is the intellectual property of SavePointDad unless otherwise stated. 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By continuing to use the Site after changes are posted, you accept the revised Terms. ### **8\. Contact Information** If you have any questions about these Terms, you can reach us at: savepointdad@gmail.com --- # Privacy Policy Last updated: July 23, 2025 This Privacy Policy describes Our policies and procedures on the collection, use and disclosure of Your information when You use the Service and tells You about Your privacy rights and how the law protects You. We use Your Personal data to provide and improve the Service. By using the Service, You agree to the collection and use of information in accordance with this Privacy Policy. This Privacy Policy has been created with the help of the [Free Privacy Policy Generator](https://www.freeprivacypolicy.com/free-privacy-policy-generator/?ref=savepointdad.com). ## Interpretation and Definitions ### Interpretation The words of which the initial letter is capitalized have meanings defined under the following conditions. The following definitions shall have the same meaning regardless of whether they appear in singular or in plural. ### Definitions For the purposes of this Privacy Policy: - **Account** means a unique account created for You to access our Service or parts of our Service. - **Affiliate** means an entity that controls, is controlled by or is under common control with a party, where "control" means ownership of 50% or more of the shares, equity interest or other securities entitled to vote for election of directors or other managing authority. - **Company** (referred to as either "the Company", "We", "Us" or "Our" in this Agreement) refers to SavePointDad. - **Cookies** are small files that are placed on Your computer, mobile device or any other device by a website, containing the details of Your browsing history on that website among its many uses. - **Country** refers to: California, United States - **Device** means any device that can access the Service such as a computer, a cellphone or a digital tablet. - **Personal Data** is any information that relates to an identified or identifiable individual. - **Service** refers to the Website. - **Service Provider** means any natural or legal person who processes the data on behalf of the Company. It refers to third-party companies or individuals employed by the Company to facilitate the Service, to provide the Service on behalf of the Company, to perform services related to the Service or to assist the Company in analyzing how the Service is used. - **Usage Data** refers to data collected automatically, either generated by the use of the Service or from the Service infrastructure itself (for example, the duration of a page visit). - **Website** refers to SavePointDad, accessible from [savepointdad.com](https://www.freeprivacypolicy.com/live/savepointdad.com?ref=savepointdad.com) - **You** means the individual accessing or using the Service, or the company, or other legal entity on behalf of which such individual is accessing or using the Service, as applicable. ## Collecting and Using Your Personal Data ### Types of Data Collected #### Personal Data While using Our Service, We may ask You to provide Us with certain personally identifiable information that can be used to contact or identify You. 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The Personal Data You provide can give You access to different functionalities of the Service that are available to You as a registered user. - **For the performance of a contract:** the development, compliance and undertaking of the purchase contract for the products, items or services You have purchased or of any other contract with Us through the Service. - **To contact You:** To contact You by email, telephone calls, SMS, or other equivalent forms of electronic communication, such as a mobile application's push notifications regarding updates or informative communications related to the functionalities, products or contracted services, including the security updates, when necessary or reasonable for their implementation. - **To provide You** with news, special offers and general information about other goods, services and events which we offer that are similar to those that you have already purchased or enquired about unless You have opted not to receive such information. - **To manage Your requests:** To attend and manage Your requests to Us. - **For business transfers:** We may use Your information to evaluate or conduct a merger, divestiture, restructuring, reorganization, dissolution, or other sale or transfer of some or all of Our assets, whether as a going concern or as part of bankruptcy, liquidation, or similar proceeding, in which Personal Data held by Us about our Service users is among the assets transferred. - **For other purposes**: We may use Your information for other purposes, such as data analysis, identifying usage trends, determining the effectiveness of our promotional campaigns and to evaluate and improve our Service, products, services, marketing and your experience. 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We will retain and use Your Personal Data to the extent necessary to comply with our legal obligations (for example, if we are required to retain your data to comply with applicable laws), resolve disputes, and enforce our legal agreements and policies. The Company will also retain Usage Data for internal analysis purposes. Usage Data is generally retained for a shorter period of time, except when this data is used to strengthen the security or to improve the functionality of Our Service, or We are legally obligated to retain this data for longer time periods. ### Transfer of Your Personal Data Your information, including Personal Data, is processed at the Company's operating offices and in any other places where the parties involved in the processing are located. It means that this information may be transferred to — and maintained on — computers located outside of Your state, province, country or other governmental jurisdiction where the data protection laws may differ than those from Your jurisdiction. Your consent to this Privacy Policy followed by Your submission of such information represents Your agreement to that transfer. The Company will take all steps reasonably necessary to ensure that Your data is treated securely and in accordance with this Privacy Policy and no transfer of Your Personal Data will take place to an organization or a country unless there are adequate controls in place including the security of Your data and other personal information. ### Delete Your Personal Data You have the right to delete or request that We assist in deleting the Personal Data that We have collected about You. Our Service may give You the ability to delete certain information about You from within the Service. You may update, amend, or delete Your information at any time by signing in to Your Account, if you have one, and visiting the account settings section that allows you to manage Your personal information. You may also contact Us to request access to, correct, or delete any personal information that You have provided to Us. Please note, however, that We may need to retain certain information when we have a legal obligation or lawful basis to do so. ### Disclosure of Your Personal Data #### Business Transactions If the Company is involved in a merger, acquisition or asset sale, Your Personal Data may be transferred. We will provide notice before Your Personal Data is transferred and becomes subject to a different Privacy Policy. #### Law enforcement Under certain circumstances, the Company may be required to disclose Your Personal Data if required to do so by law or in response to valid requests by public authorities (e.g. a court or a government agency). #### Other legal requirements The Company may disclose Your Personal Data in the good faith belief that such action is necessary to: - Comply with a legal obligation - Protect and defend the rights or property of the Company - Prevent or investigate possible wrongdoing in connection with the Service - Protect the personal safety of Users of the Service or the public - Protect against legal liability ### Security of Your Personal Data The security of Your Personal Data is important to Us, but remember that no method of transmission over the Internet, or method of electronic storage is 100% secure. While We strive to use commercially acceptable means to protect Your Personal Data, We cannot guarantee its absolute security. ## Children's Privacy Our Service does not address anyone under the age of 13\. We do not knowingly collect personally identifiable information from anyone under the age of 13\. If You are a parent or guardian and You are aware that Your child has provided Us with Personal Data, please contact Us. If We become aware that We have collected Personal Data from anyone under the age of 13 without verification of parental consent, We take steps to remove that information from Our servers. If We need to rely on consent as a legal basis for processing Your information and Your country requires consent from a parent, We may require Your parent's consent before We collect and use that information. ## Links to Other Websites Our Service may contain links to other websites that are not operated by Us. If You click on a third party link, You will be directed to that third party's site. We strongly advise You to review the Privacy Policy of every site You visit. We have no control over and assume no responsibility for the content, privacy policies or practices of any third party sites or services. ## Changes to this Privacy Policy We may update Our Privacy Policy from time to time. We will notify You of any changes by posting the new Privacy Policy on this page. We will let You know via email and/or a prominent notice on Our Service, prior to the change becoming effective and update the "Last updated" date at the top of this Privacy Policy. You are advised to review this Privacy Policy periodically for any changes. Changes to this Privacy Policy are effective when they are posted on this page. ## Contact Us If you have any questions about this Privacy Policy, You can contact us: - By email: savepointdad@gmail.com Generated using [Free Privacy Policy Generator](https://www.freeprivacypolicy.com/free-privacy-policy-generator/?ref=savepointdad.com) --- ## Copyright Policy for SavePointDad **Effective Date:** July 22, 2025 All content published on **savepointdad.com**, including but not limited to blog posts, images, illustrations, logos, graphics, audio, video, and written text (“Content”), is the intellectual property of **SavePointDad**, unless otherwise stated. ### Ownership & Rights Unless explicitly noted: - All content is © **SavePointDad**. - All rights are reserved. - You may not reproduce, distribute, modify, repost, or otherwise use any content from this website without **prior written permission** from SavePointDad. ### Personal Use You are welcome to: - View and share links to SavePointDad content via social media platforms for **non-commercial use**. - Quote brief excerpts **with proper credit** and a direct link to the source page. ### Prohibited Uses You may **not**: - Reproduce full articles, images, or illustrations from SavePointDad. - Use any content for commercial purposes (e.g., reselling, republishing for profit, AI training). - Modify or adapt any content without permission. ### Requesting Permission If you would like to use any content from SavePointDad for media, academic, or other purposes, please email: SavePointDad@gmail.com ### DMCA Compliance We comply with the **Digital Millennium Copyright Act (DMCA)**. If you believe your work has been used on this site without proper authorization, please contact us with the following: - A description of the copyrighted work - The specific URL of the allegedly infringing material - Your contact information - A statement of good faith belief - A statement under penalty of perjury that the above is accurate ### Get SavePointDad in your inbox URL: https://savepointdad.com/get-savepointdad-in-your-inbox/ Last updated: 2026-02-12T00:52:36.000Z I started SavePointDad because I did not feel like I had it all figured out, and most days I still do not. I write about fatherhood, fitness, gaming, and the quiet work of trying to be better. The emails are honest, personal, and sent once a week. ## Sign up for SavePointDad Fatherhood, fitness, gaming, and unsolicited life advice Subscribe Email sent! Check your inbox to complete your signup. No spam. Unsubscribe anytime. ## Posts ### Parenting is an Escort Mission That Lasts 18 Years . . . Probably Longer URL: https://savepointdad.com/parenting-is-an-escort-mission-that-lasts-18-years-probably-longer/ Last updated: 2026-08-26T14:18:51.000Z If you've ever played video games, you know an escort mission can easily ruin a good game. It can be the best game ever, you are tearing through enemies, collecting ridiculous weapons, and convincing yourself that spending 3 hours looking for slightly better gear is productive. Then some NPC walks up and says they need your help getting somewhere. An NPC (Non-Player Character) is basically a video game character controlled by the game, not a real person. You immediately know you're fucked. Because now the game isn't asking whether you can survive. It's asking whether you can keep a small underpowered dummy alive. Developers know we hate these damn missions, too. Every few years one promises they've finally fixed the escort mission. This time the NPC will actually help you fight. It'll stay close and our dumbasses believe them. You start the mission and your NPC companion runs past you, picks up some useless bullshit, alerts 5 enemies, and gets trapped behind a door. I've realized being a dad means we are living one giant escort mission. Except this one lasts the rest of my life, and the NPC argues with me about literally everything. **The NPC Is Supposed to Help** Video game developers always make the same promise about NPCs; they're not just someone you have to protect; they'll actually help you. They'll find ammo. They'll fight enemies. To be fair occasionally they’ll be useful but only for very very small amounts of time. Ask a kid to help clean the living room and watch what happens. They'll pick up one Lego, find another Lego they forgot about, start building something with all the Legos, and somehow leave the room freaking messier than when they started. Ask them to find their shoes and they'll return holding a small bouncy ball they lost four months ago. The most impressive part is how confidently kids accept missions they have absolutely no intention of completing. You can make direct eye contact, get verbal confirmation, and have them repeat the objective back to you: “Go to your room, get your socks, and come right back.” Five minutes later, you find them in their room wearing a cape with absolutely no socks anywhere in sight. **They Find Items, Just Never Useful Ones** Game makers love promising that NPCs will find useful items for the player. Kids have an interesting ability to find items also except they have completely different definitions of the words useful. A kid can walk through a parking lot and somehow find 3 rocks, a stick, and an object you're 70% sure came from a car engine. They will bring all those dirty ass things to you. They'll expect you to carry them because their hands are full with other dirty ass shit. You left the house with a phone, wallet, and keys. Twenty minutes later you're carrying two jackets, a water bottle, a stuffed animal, somebody's half-eaten snack, and a stick you're not allowed to throw away because it's “a really good stick.” I mean, to be honest, I still get pretty happy when I find a good stick, who doesn’t? **The Pathfinding Is Completely Broken** Nothing shows bad video-game AI faster than pathfinding. You're sneaking through an enemy base and your annoying partner decides the best route is directly through the middle of the room. Kids have the exact same pathfinding system. Take them anywhere crowded and watch them choose the least efficient possible route. You're walking straight toward the entrance; they're moving diagonally towards a stick. You turn around and they're suddenly six feet behind because they've stopped to look at a dirt clump on the sidewalk. **Dialogue Can’t Be Skipped** NPCs never shut the hell up. You're trying to kill all the aliens on a spaceship and they're telling you their entire life story. You walk away and they follow you. You trigger another mission and they're still talking. Kids do the same. My kids can begin a story without any identifiable beginning, middle, or end. They'll start with someone from school whose name I've never heard, introduce 2 other kids, jump backwards 3 days, and then explain something else completely unrelated. Sometimes I attempt to speed shit up with “Oh wow” and “No way.” Apparently, that unlocks more dialogue from them. Someday, I'll probably miss this but that’s not the focus this week. **The Side Quests Never End** The main mission sounds straightforward: keep them alive, teach them not to be assholes, and prepare them to eventually function without you. [I've written before about how parenthood turns side quests into mandatory ones.](https://savepointdad.com/video-games-lied-to-you/) Apparently, that wasn't enough so life throws in homework, birthday parties, sports, swim lessons, doctor appointments, fundraisers, annoying school theme days, Halloween costumes, and projects requiring extra supplies you will only use once. **Still a 10/10** For all the shit we give escort missions, there's a reason they keep being put in games. The good ones make the game/world feel less empty. They give you somebody to protect and laugh with/at. [**Gaming has somehow become one of the ways I connect with my kids**](https://savepointdad.com/gaming-as-a-dad-escape-and-connection/), which is probably why this stupid analogy works so well for me. If you're escorting your own tiny NPC through life, send this to another parent who understands the struggle. And if you like fatherhood, gaming, fitness, and taking completely unnecessary video game analogies way too far, subscribe at SavePointDad.com. ### Starting a New Job Is Scary as Hell. Here’s What I Learned. URL: https://savepointdad.com/starting-a-new-job-is-scary-as-hell-heres-what-i-learned/ Last updated: 2026-08-18T14:11:03.000Z Last week I wrote about what I learned from leaving a job after almost 10 years. I talked about how weird it is to walk away from somewhere that has been such a huge part of my life and how quickly something that felt permanent becomes just your old job. Leaving the comfortable job is only half the mindfuck. Eventually, you actually have to start a new job after nearly a decade of knowing exactly what you're doing. **The "Holy Shit, Did I Ruin My Life?" Phase** The second I resigned, all the confidence I had while making the decision was instantly gone. I had thought about it for weeks. I talked it through with my wife, we weighed the pros and cons, and knew why the new job made sense for me and my family. We had made an informed, rational adult decision. Then I resigned and immediately thought, "Shit, did I just ruin my life?" What if I hate it? What if I'm not actually good at it? What if my old job was secretly the greatest job ever and I somehow didn't realize it until I left? The funniest part is that I knew this was going to happen. Before I resigned, I literally told my wife, "In a few days I'm going to freak out and think I made the wrong decision. When that happens, remind me that I told you this would happen." Look at me being emotionally intelligent and shit. My wife reminded me exactly like I asked her to. She reminded me why I made the decision and that I had predicted this exact reaction would happen a few days later. Ya, that totally did not work. I did not listen to my wife or my past highly intelligent self. I was scared. **Why Starting a New Job Feels So Weird** You can be completely ready to leave something and still be sacred as hell when you actually do it. Those feelings seem like they should cancel each other out; they don't. My old job was known. I knew the people, systems, history, and dumb office politics. There is an huge amount of comfort in knowing how a place works, and you don't realize how much knowledge you have until none of it matters anymore. Then you start somewhere new and you're thinking about things you haven't thought about in years. Who actually makes decisions? Where does everyone eat (I literally had to ask this)? Am I supposed to respond to this email or will a thumbs-up do? Nobody puts that shit in the employee handbook. Your brain also starts editing your old job like a nostalgic movie trailer. Suddenly you remember everything you loved and conveniently forget the reasons you were willing to leave. Familiar feels safe, and safe starts feeling like maybe it was better. **You Find Out Who Is Actually On Your Team** One of the best parts of this entire transition has been realizing how many people honestly want me to succeed. I am talking about the people you can list as references and know they're going to make you sound like the greatest fucking employee who has ever lived. They're the ones who advocate for you when you aren't in the room and somehow remember accomplishments you forgot about. Others text before your first day. They ask how things are going. They give you advice about traffic, places to eat, and all the random shit that make your life easier. Having a team just feels good. **You Go From Gandalf to Completely Fucking Useless** The most humbling part of starting a new job after being somewhere forever is you don’t know shit. At your old job you weren't necessarily smarter than everyone else, but you had years of context. Someone could mention a project from five years ago and you'd know what happened. Someone could suggest an idea and you'd remember that it had already been tried and nearly caused three people to quit. Actually, let’s be honest you probably were smarter than a handful of people there. There are some real dumbasses in the workplace. Basically, you were Gandalf. Then you changed jobs. Suddenly you're sitting in meetings and you don’t know a single acronym. You're writing things down to look up later. There have already been moments where I've genuinely thought, they are paying me not to do shit right now. That's a weird feeling when you're used to being useful. At the old job, people came to you with questions. At the new job, you're the one asking what feels like stupid questions. **Pro Tip: Learn the Culture, Not Just Your Job** This might be the most important thing I've learned so far: learning the work culture is just as important as learning your actual role. Every place has two versions of itself. There is the official version described in onboarding documents, organizational charts, and strategic plans. Then there is the real version made up of actual people who have worked together for years. You need to understand both. How are decisions really made? Does leadership want quick conversations or detailed emails? Who has been there forever and knows absolutely everything? Which processes exist for a legitimate reason, and which ones exist because somebody created a spreadsheet in 2015 and everyone is scared to mess it up? There's a huge difference between saying, "At my old organization we did it this way," and asking, "Can you help me understand why we do it this way here?" One says that you've arrived with answers. The other gives you a chance to learn whether your brilliant solution was already tried three years ago and turned into a shit show. Learn the culture before you try to change anything. **Starting Over Might Actually Be Good for You** Leaving after so many years forced me to give up something I didn't realize I'd become so attached to: certainty. I like knowing shit. I liked being useful. I liked being comfortable. I liked being Gandalf. Now I'm basically back at Level 0, except I got to carry some stats and equipment over from my previous save file. So, if you're starting a new job after being somewhere forever, give yourself a damn break. You might regret leaving before you've even finished leaving. You’ll miss knowing exactly what you're doing but it’ll be worth it and honestly kind of fun. **Thank You** If you're starting something new yourself, remember that you don't need to feel 100% confident for the decision to be right. Learn the people, learn the culture, ask the stupid ass questions, and accept that feeling useless for a little while is part of becoming useful again. Eventually, you'll know shit again. Thanks for reading and continuing to follow along while I figure this shit out in real time. If you missed the first half of this story, check out my post about what[ I learned from leaving a job after nearly a decade](https://savepointdad.com/leaving-a-job-after-10/). And if you like stories about fatherhood, work, fitness, gaming, and trying to act like a functioning adult, subscribe to [SavePointDad](https://savepointdad.com/get-savepointdad-in-your-inbox/) so you don't miss the next one. We're all figuring this shit out. Might as well do it together. ### Leaving a Job After 10 Years URL: https://savepointdad.com/leaving-a-job-after-10/ Last updated: 2026-08-12T15:08:47.000Z So, I just left a job that I have been at for about ten years. When I started, my career was different, my life was different, and I definitely didn't know nearly as much as I thought I did. Over those years I grew professionally, became a dad, built relationships, took on bigger responsibilities, made mistakes, and eventually became one of the people who actually knew how shit worked. Then one day I packed up my shit, turned everything in, said goodbye, and this big ass part of my life just stopped. I didn't leave because I hated my job. There wasn't some dramatic final straw or boss I wanted to tell to go fuck themselves. I cared about the organization, believed in the work, and liked a lot of the people there. Well, a few of them. I simply reached a point where another opportunity made sense for me and more importantly my family, so I took it. **You Don't Realize How Much Your Job Becomes Part of Your Life** People love saying, "It's just a job," and I get what they mean, but after ten years that's bullshit. Work slowly makes its way into almost every part of your life. Your spouse knows the names of people they've never met because they've heard hundreds of stories about them. They know who you like, who drives you God damn crazy, and exactly who you're talking about when you walk through the door and say, "XXXX is useless”. I knew which meetings mattered, who could get something done, who needed three to ten reminders, and who somehow turned every 10 minute conversation into an hour. Then suddenly you don't work there anymore, and that life disappears. I miss that familiarity. I miss knowing exactly where I belonged every morning and being really fucking good at navigating a place. **They Will Replace Your Ass Quickly** Nothing reinforces that lesson faster than leaving. Because your job moves on fast as hell. This isn't me being bitter. It's exactly what your work is supposed to do. If a company completely falls apart every time somebody quits, that company has a problem. The transition starts fast as hell. Responsibilities get reassigned. Someone else gets your projects. Future meetings disappear from your calendar because, well, you're not going to be there. People need your files, passwords, contacts, and information. Eventually your laptop is turned in, your access gets shut off, and your name starts disappearing from things. Work has a weird way of convincing us we're irreplaceable. We answer emails at night, work through lunch, and think about problems on weekends. Then you leave and the meeting still happens. The project keeps moving. The email gets answered. **"Stay in Touch" Is Mostly Bullshit** Everyone says the same thing when you leave. "We have to stay in touch." Ya, I’ll pass lol. I don't even think that's necessarily bad. Some relationships exist because two people spend eight hours a day in the same place. You can genuinely like somebody, care about them, and enjoy working with them without that relationship surviving once the thing connecting you disappears. It doesn't mean anyone was fake. But then there are the people that text after you've left. They call to ask how the new job is going. They want to grab lunch even though neither of you can put it on a work calendar anymore. They send you something stupid because they know it'll make you laugh. They just like you. Those people become incredibly obvious after you leave, and I'm thankful as hell for them. It reminded me of something I wrote in [The Ones Who Knew Us Before Life](https://savepointdad.com/the-ones-who-knew-us-before-life/): life keeps changing the circumstances around our friendships. **Can We Talk About Exit Interviews?** Then there's the exit interview. I understand the concept. Someone is leaving, so this is the perfect time to get completely honest feedback about leadership, culture, pay, and all the other shit employees normally discuss privately after meetings. But I kept thinking, how many times have you actually seen something change because somebody gave feedback during an exit interview? Think about everyone who has left companies you've worked for. Some probably had real concerns. Maybe multiple employees left because of the same issue. They sat down, explained everything, somebody took notes, everyone thanked them for their honesty, and then Monday morning arrived and everybody went right back to doing the same shit. I'm sure good organizations use exit interviews to identify patterns and improve. But I also think employees sometimes imagine their exit interview as the final scene in a movie where they're finally going to reveal everything that's wrong and the entire organization will stare silently before erupting into applause. Probably not. Give honest feedback. Be respectful. Say what you think needs to be said. It's not your problem anymore. **I Owe That Place a Lot** I don't want any of this to sound like I walked away thinking the organization was lucky to have survived without me. I owe a huge amount of my career to my time there. I was trusted with opportunities that I sure as hell wasn’t ready for. I learned how to manage major projects, build relationships, navigate difficult situations, lead people, and eventually become someone other people came to for advice. **But That Place Owes a Lot to Me Too** This is the part employees sometimes forget. Yes, my organization invested in me. I invested in it too. I gave almost ten years of my life to that place. I brought ideas, relationships, creativity, energy, and a lot of work I'm genuinely proud of. Sometimes we talk about good employers as if they're doing us a favor by allowing us to work there. They gave me a paycheck, benefits, and experience. In return, I gave them my time, skills, and commitment. It was a trade. A really good trade. **A Good Job Might Be Supposed to Prepare You to Leave** I think we sometimes misunderstand loyalty because we assume a successful employment relationship should last forever. Maybe one sign of a great job is that it eventually prepares you for something bigger. Every responsibility you take on becomes experience. There is nothing noble about making less money forever because you don't want your employer to be inconvenienced by replacing you. That is honestly stupid AF. **Final SavePoint** I loved my old job and I am thankful for it. The organization moved on, exactly like it was supposed to. And so did I. So, if you're thinking about leaving a job you've been at forever, remember that the weird feeling afterward doesn't mean you made the wrong decision. Watching your employer move on doesn't mean you weren't important. Being replaced doesn't erase what you contributed. They will replace you because they should. Thank you for reading SavePointDad and continuing to support this. If this reminded you of a job you left, someone considering a career change, or a former coworker who actually followed through on "stay in touch," share it with them. Every share, follow, comment, and subscription helps more people find SavePointDad, and I appreciate the hell out of it. ### How Do You Protect Your Kids Without Controlling Them? URL: https://savepointdad.com/how-do-you-protect-your-kids-without-controlling-them/ Last updated: 2026-08-05T20:32:40.000Z Has the thought ever hit you that keeping your kids safe while letting them grow are slowly becoming opposite goals? For the first few years of their lives, parenting feels surprisingly straightforward. Let's be clear I am not saying easy, huge difference. If they reach for the hot stove, you stop them. If they run toward the street, you grab your kid. If they're about to do flips off the couch, you watch the first few then stop them. Your job is to keep them alive, and honestly, toddlers seem determined to test your commitment to that mission most days. Then things change cause they always do. It's no longer just scraped knees and bumped heads. It's friendships. Confidence. YouTube. Social media. Independence. Bad decisions that don't leave bruises but hurt even more. Suddenly you're not just trying to protect their bodies. You're trying to protect their hearts, confidence, and the kind of person they are becoming. **Experience Is Both Your Greatest Strength and Your Biggest Problem** Your greatest qualification for being a parent is also the thing that makes this so damn hard. We have all been kids already. You've already been the teenager who thought he knew everything. You've already ignored good advice because you were convinced your shit was different. You've trusted the wrong people. You have gotten your heart broken. You don't have to imagine what can go wrong because you've already lived through enough of that shit. Every time your kid starts moving toward a situation that looks familiar, you immediately start thinking of every terrible outcome you've ever seen. Sometimes it isn't even your own mistakes. It's things that happened to friends. Stories you've heard. Stuff you wish never happened to people you care about. The problem is they haven't lived your life. These damn kids think we didn’t have a life before them. **The Problem With Trying to Save Kids From Every Mistake** If my parents had tried to control every decision I made, I know I would have found new and creative ways to ignore them. Looking back now, I realize they were usually right. Unfortunately, younger me wasn't especially interested in collecting wisdom. I was more interested in proving I already had it. That seems to be one of the great traditions of growing up. Every generation thinks adults are overreacting. Then every generation eventually discovers that the adults weren't completely so wrong after all. You can explain to someone that touching the stove will burn them. You can describe the pain in incredible detail. You can even show them the scar on your own hand. Some people still have to touch the stove. I was that dumb lol. **Finding the Balance Between Protecting Your Kids and Letting Them Grow** I don't want my kids looking back someday and remembering me as the asshole dad who controlled everything. I don't want every conversation to sound like a lecture. At the same time, I also don't think parenting means sitting quietly while your child walks straight towards stupid shit just because "they have to learn." There has to be a middle ground. Every damn situation feels different. Sometimes stepping in is exactly what your kid needs. Other times stepping in too fast steals an opportunity for them to build confidence they couldn't gain any other way. As a benefit, sometimes it's just funny to watch. That line is freaking hard to see. **I Know What's Out There** When I was younger, I mostly thought about what could go right. Now I automatically see what can go wrong. I wouldn’t say I am pessimistic. It's because life has given me enough examples. I've seen friendships end over stupid shit. I've watched smart as hell people make unbelievably shitty decisions. Careers disappear because of one bad choice. People carry emotional scars for years because of shit that only lasted a few minutes. Eventually your brain starts trying to protect people you love from every possible version of these things. Kids don't see all the ghosts you're reacting to. They only see Dad saying no again. **Sometimes They Need to Fall** This is probably the sentence I am most hesitant to write. Sometimes they need to fail. Confidence isn't made by parents always stopping problems. It's made by kids discovering they can survive problems. Nobody reaches adulthood with a perfect record. How are our kids supposed to learn resilience if we never let them experience disappointment? That question keeps bouncing around in my head because I honestly don't know where the balance is. **Maybe Every Parent Has Asked This Question** Parents have probably wrestled with this since like the dinosaurs. Generations before us worried about different dangers, but the question stayed the same. How much freedom is enough? How much protection is too much? When do you step in? How do you prepare someone for a world they'll eventually have to navigate without you? **Maybe That's the Job** I am thinking success isn't measured by preventing every mistake. Maybe success looks more like building the kind of relationship where our kids still call us after they make one. You better believe mistakes are coming. Failure is coming. Disappointment is coming. What we can control is whether our children know they have someone who will help them get back up without saying, "I fucking told you so." **Final Save** How do you protect your kids without controlling them? Ya, I totally don’t know. Whether you've been here since the beginning or you just stumbled across SavePointDad today, I genuinely appreciate you. If you're new here, you can also read [**State of the Union: One Year Later... Well, SavePointDad is still going**.](https://savepointdad.com/state-of-the-union-one-year-later-well-savepointdad-is-still-going/) I'd love for you to subscribe so you don't miss future posts, and follow SavePointDad on Instagram and X. ### State of the Union: One Year Later... Well, SavePointDad is still going. URL: https://savepointdad.com/state-of-the-union-one-year-later-well-savepointdad-is-still-going/ Last updated: 2026-07-28T14:30:22.000Z About a year ago I started SavePointDad for one very important reason. I was bored. That was the entire business plan. I just felt like I had a lot of random thoughts bouncing around in my head that other dads probably had too but didn't always say out loud. Being a dad is hard. Working out takes forever. Video games are fun. I figured a lot of people felt the same way so I bought a domain, learned just enough about websites to post, and started writing. Honestly, I had no clue how long I'd keep doing it. I figured maybe I'd write a handful of blogs, get distracted by some other shit, and move on. Instead, I just paid to renew the hosting for another year. I don’t waste money so it looks like you are all stuck with me for another year. Honestly, it’s surprising how much it costs to host a website. I mean, in retrospect, what hobby doesn’t cost money. **Turns Out I Wasn't Talking to Myself** There are now more than 7,000 people following SavePointDad on Instagram. Hundreds of people read these blogs every week. Complete strangers have taken time out of their day to send me messages saying something I wrote made them laugh, reminded them of their kids, or made them realize they weren't the only person thinking something stupid. Also, quite a few have reached out to point out how stupid I am. Those crack me up the most. The coolest part hasn't been the numbers. It's been the people. I've met creators, parents, gamers, writers, and genuinely awesome people from all over the world because of this site. Twenty years ago, our parents told us talking to strangers on the internet would get us kidnapped. Now I'm cheering on a guy's photography business or a fitness page in another country while someone halfway around the world is rooting for this dad blog. The internet is an absolute shit show some days, but every now and then it reminds you why it's worth sticking around. **Social Media Is Still Bullshit** Instagram proudly tells me I have over 7,000 followers. Fantastic. Love seeing that. Then I spend an hour writing a post, making an image, proofreading it fifteen times, because apparently I still can't spell "definitely" without spellcheck, and finally hit publish. Instagram immediately decides, "You know what? Let's show this to about 400 people." What the fuck? Everybody claims they know how to beat the algorithm. "Post at 6:17 PM." "Only post Reels." "Actually, don't post Reels." "Use exactly three hashtags." "Don't use hashtags." At this point I think the algorithm is just a monkey hitting random buttons inside Meta headquarters. It makes no sense and all feels so random. **I've Learned Way More Than I Ever Planned To** I started this website because I wanted to write. Instead, I accidentally taught myself how websites work, how SEO works, how to read analytics, and some basic marketing. A year ago, I thought metadata sounded like something from *The Matrix*. Now I actually get excited when a blog starts climbing Google search results. The funny thing is this whole experience reminded me a lot of getting in shape. Everybody wants the shortcut. What's the hack? What's the trick? What's the secret? Turns out the answer is the same in both worlds. Show up consistently. Keep learning. Get a little better every week. Repeat that process a hundred times until one day people think you magically figured it out. **The Blogs That Meant the Most** One thing writing has changed is how I pay attention to life. Before SavePointDad, funny conversations with my kids would've disappeared into memory. Random thoughts during my commute would've been forgotten by the time I got home. Now I catch myself noticing those little moments because they're usually the ones worth writing about. That's where some of my favorite articles came from. For example, [The Last Time Your Kids Ask to Be Carried](https://savepointdad.com/the-last-time-your-kids-ask-to-be-carried/). That one reminded me that parenting isn't just about first steps and birthdays. It's about the little moments nobody warns you are disappearing. The last bedtime story. The last time they ask you to carry them because they're scared. Those moments quietly become memories. **One Thing I Hope More People Start Doing** If this website has taught me anything outside of writing, it's that support matters way more than we realize. Seriously Dude. If your buddy starts a business, follow the page. If your friend launches a podcast, listen to an episode. If somebody starts chasing a crazy idea, don't be the person explaining why it probably won't work (we know all the reasons already). Be the person cheering them on. We have enough contrarians already. Every comment, share, and like helps so much. Support isn't finite. Somebody else doing good doesn't make it so you can’t do good also. Be a bro, man. Encourage people. **So What's Next?** Honestly... same shit different day. I'll probably continue questioning life at least once a week. I'll keep complaining about social media every chance I get. I'll probably write something that accidentally connects, then write something stupid AF in the next sentence. **Thank You** I honestly never imagined hundreds of people would spend part of their week reading something I wrote. You helped turn something I started because I was bored into one of my favorite hobbies. Here's to another year of SavePointDad since I already paid for it. And if you haven't already, subscribe while you're here. It's free, you'll never miss a new blog, and it'll make me feel a little better about paying for another year of website hosting. ### When the Hell Did We Become the Adults? Getting Older is Weird URL: https://savepointdad.com/when-the-hell-did-we-become-the-adults-getting-older-is-weird/ Last updated: 2026-07-21T21:39:12.000Z I swear this shit happened without my permission. One day I was the dumbass drinking beer with my friends playing the pass around taser game. And yes, it’s as stupid as it sounds. We basically would taser somebody unexpectedly and then hand it off to them. They then got to unexpectedly taser someone else during the night. That shit hurt and burned holes in your shirt. Now people ask me for career and financial advice. Seriously...when the fuck did that happen? I don't remember ever like feeling older. I don't remember waking up one morning suddenly thinking I have this shit figured out. I am still always thinking about stupid shit all day. I have countless dumb ideas but then stop myself like, "Hmmmm, better not." Maybe that’s the sign that I am the adult now. **The Signs You're Getting Older** Doctors somehow keep looking younger every year to me. Police officers more often than not look like teenagers. I was just talking about UFC with a coworker and we were saying a fighter is too old to fight and he needs to step away with his head held high. We looked up his age and he was in his early thirties. That shit was humbling. My kids walk near the street and I yell, "Watch for cars!" without even thinking. Thirty years ago I rolled my eyes every time my parents said that to me because obviously I was going to be careful. Now I know exactly why they said it. It was because they had already lived long enough to know how quickly life can change because somebody else wasn't paying attention. **Adulthood Feels Like Pretending** Honestly, I think most of us have just gotten really good at pretending. I go to work, sit in important meetings, talk about budgets, strategic plans, partnerships, and all the serious adult shit I'm supposed to know about. People nod while I talk like I have everything figured out. Then I drive home wondering what X-Men I would be and the potential consequences of having their power, and when and if I could even use them. I bet you all didn't consider that last part. Realistically, when the fuck would you use claws or optic blasts and not get in trouble for it. Maybe that's why I laugh whenever someone asks me for advice. It catches me off guard. Younger coworkers ask about their careers. Friends ask what I'd do in their situation. People have asked me about investing, parenting, fitness, leadership, and all kinds of other shit that make me want to look over my shoulder to see if there's a real adult standing behind me ready to call me out for acting. I'll give them the best answer I can and then think, "Man, I really hope that sounded smarter than I actually am." When I was younger I honestly believed there was a point where your life finally made sense. Bills weren't stressful anymore. You understood taxes. Relationships got easier. You knew exactly how to raise kids. You stopped pretending to like salad. I'm forty now, and I have some disappointing news. Nobody knows what the fuck they're doing. We're better at hiding it. We get more comfortable making decisions. We stop panicking every time something goes wrong because we've been through enough shit and know it can always get worse. Confidence doesn't come from suddenly becoming an expert at life. It comes from realizing you've already screwed enough things up to know the world usually doesn't end. **The Biggest Lie We Believed About Our Parents** That realization completely changed the way I think about my parents. When I was a kid, they seemed like superheroes. Dad could fix anything. Mom always knew what to do when somebody got sick or hurt. They managed bills, jobs, vacations, school events, birthdays, and handled all the dumb shit I did with grace and patience. I was not a bad kid, I was a dumb kid. They felt solid and certain. Like they had life completely under control. Now I look through the eyes of a parent, and I almost laugh at how wrong I was. They were just two people trying to figure it out. Every stage of life they went through was the first time they'd ever experienced it, just like it is for me now. They were making the best decision they could and hoping it worked out. That might be the biggest surprise adulthood has given me. Your parents weren't pretending because they wanted to fool you. They were pretending because that's what parents do. You don't tell your six-year-old you don’t have a damn clue about the future or you are worried about your job. You don't let your kids see every uncertainty because your job isn't to bring them into life's everyday bullshit. Your job is to make them feel safe enough to just be kids. **Maybe Nobody Ever Really Figures Life Out** So when the hell did we become the adults? If our parents didn't have shit completely figured out, maybe we can stop beating ourselves up for not having it figured out either. Adulthood isn't about finally becoming the person who has all the answers. I don’t actually know how I would define it and honestly, I still don't know exactly when I became the adult. I just know one day I looked around and realized I wasn't waiting for anyone anymore. That might be the weirdest part of growing up. You spend your entire childhood believing there's always an adult in the room. Then one day you realize, God damn it, it’s me. And somehow, everyone else thinks you've got this. I almost feel more bad for the other people lol. **More SavePointDad Reads** Since you're here, and I'm seeing more and more new people around here, check these out too. - [**Adulthood Feels Fast AF**](https://savepointdad.com/adulthood-feels-fast-af/) – If you've ever wondered where the hell the last ten years went, this one's for you. - [**How Do You Teach Kids Not to Be Selfish?**](https://savepointdad.com/how-do-you-teach-kids-not-to-be-selfish/) – Parenting is hard. You're trying to raise kind, thoughtful humans while realizing you're still learning those same lessons yourself. ### The Last Time Your Kids Ask to Be Carried URL: https://savepointdad.com/the-last-time-your-kids-ask-to-be-carried/ Last updated: 2026-07-14T14:53:25.000Z Everyone tells you to cherish the time with your kids. We normally think of the big shit. The first steps. The first words. The first day of school. You know these times are coming, so you try your best to soak them in. You pull out your phone, take way too many damn pictures, and tell yourself you'll never forget them. I think we all forget about the last moments. The last time they ask you to carry them because they're scared. The last time they reach for your hand before crossing the street. The last time they climb into your lap. The last time they need you in a way only a little kid can. There isn't a flashing sign that says, "Hey dumbass, pay attention. This is the last time." They just happen and we don't even realize it. ## **It Happens So Damn Slowly... Until It Doesn't** When your kids are little, they need you for every damn thing. Honestly, it's exhausting. There were days I couldn't wait for my kids to become more independent. I dreamed about the day they could buckle their own seatbelt (I hate carseats), pour their own cereal, or grab a glass of water without needing me to supervise. Then it started happening. One day they brushed their own teeth without being reminded. Eventually they could grab themselves a snack, get dressed, and solve little problems on their own. Every “milestone” made me proud because that's exactly what you're supposed to want as a parent. You're raising capable, independent humans. That's literally the job. It hit me, though, every new thing they learn means there's one less reason for them to need you. It sounds like another “No shit” idea but its true. ## **The Best Feeling in the World** One of my favorite feelings as a dad has always been when one of my kids gets scared and comes running to me. Thunder outside? "Dada!" Bad dream? "Dada!" They drop something and it breaks? "Dada!" The second their little arms wrapped around my neck, I felt like a God damn superhero. For those few minutes, I could fix everything for them. It’s sad when you realize those times are happening less and less. Now they calm themselves down more often. They figure shit out. They don't need to be picked up because they can handle it themselves or more often than not they will just argue. ## When Your Kids Stop Sitting Next to You When your kids are tiny, they don't just sit next to you. They basically become part of you. They sit on your lap every chance they get. They steal your blanket, your pillow, and somehow ninety percent of the couch despite weighing less than a small house pet. Then one day they start sitting somewhere else. Sometimes they'd rather watch something in their room. Sometimes they sit on the other side of the couch. It just feels weird to me still. I used to laugh/complain about how my daughter never stopped talking. She could tell a 20 minute story that somehow included unicorns, Taylor Swift, her teacher, squirrels, and a completely unrelated conversation from three weeks ago. There were definitely moments where I thought, "Damn, can I get thirty seconds of silence?" After she said every detail that needed to be said, she left and played by herself. And almost immediately I'd catch myself thinking, "Man... it's quiet." ## **The Goal of Parenting** Parenting is an interesting job where succeeding means slowly making yourself less necessary. From the day they're born, your entire mission is to prepare them for life’s bullshit and not needing you. Every lesson you teach them and every bit of confidence you build means their a bit closer to independence. That's success. It's also really sad. Because while they're busy becoming more independent, you're saying goodbye to tons of little moments. ## **They Don't Need You Less. They Need You Differently.** Like everything else, I try to wrap things up nicely. I was having trouble with this one. I was just sad lol. As much as I miss the little versions of my kids, I wouldn't trade watching them grow up. There is something really special about seeing them become their own people. They have opinions about where we should eat, what movie we should watch, or what game we should play. Instead of always leading them, you are sharing the time together in a way. My kids are pretty cool. They pick cool shit to watch most of the time. The conversations we have are getting deeper, the laughs are real, and we are connecting in completely different ways. Watching them become confident and independent is one of the most surreal parts of being a parent. You stop seeing them so much as just kids but more like actual people. ## **Before You Tell Them "Not Right Now..."** The next time your kid asks you to sit with them while they watch a cartoon, maybe say yes? The next time they ask you to carry them from the car even though they're perfectly capable of walking, pick them up anyway. The next time they want to tell you the longest, most unnecessarily detailed story ever told, listen. That shit will stop. Let's be honest, you won’t enjoy every second of it. Do it because they'll stop asking. And you probably won't know that it was the last time until they haven’t asked for months. Thank you for reading. If you like this blog, you might also like [The Best Video Game Dads Are All Kinda Messed Up](https://savepointdad.com/video-game-dads-are-all-kinda-messed-up/), and [School's Out. Parent Panic Has Begun](https://savepointdad.com/schools-out-parent-panic-has-started/). ### The Future of Gaming Looks Convenient... and Terrible URL: https://savepointdad.com/the-future-of-gaming-looks-convenient-and-terrible/ Last updated: 2026-07-07T13:51:47.000Z So PlayStation announced they are going to stop making physical discs for their games in 2028 and it has created an internet debate. Going forward you can only download digital copies. How the fuck is this decision even debatable? It's a terrible decision every way you look at it. I'm not anti-digital. Before someone starts typing that I'm living in the past, let me save you the effort. I buy some digital games. I like convenience. The problem isn't digital games. The problem is when digital becomes your only choice. Those are two completely different conversations, but people keep acting like they're the same thing. Because despite what the marketing departments would love for you to believe, owning a physical copy and buying a digital license are not the same thing. Not legally. Not practically. Not even a tiny bit. ## **You Don't Own Digital Games. You Own a License.** One of the most irritating parts of this entire conversation is how many people genuinely think buying a digital game is the same shit as buying a physical one. When you buy a physical game, you own that copy. You can lend it to your brother, sell it on Facebook, throw it in a fire, piss on it, put it on a shelf, or leave it in a box for twenty years. Nobody has to approve what you do with it because that shit is MF yours. Digital purchases don't work that way. When you click "Buy," you're buying a license governed by a lengthy bullshit agreement that nobody reads. That license gives you access to the game under very specific conditions. Those conditions can change. Services can shut down. Accounts can be suspended. Licenses can expire. The game in your digital library isn't permanent, it's yours as long as they let you have it. People love responding with, "Well, they never have removed one from my digital library." I've never been attacked by a shark, but I tend to listen to shark sighting warnings posted at the beach. The point isn't that every digital game is going to vanish tomorrow. The point is that it fucking can. ## **Games Are Already Disappearing Forever** We've already seen games be deleted from digital storefronts because licensing agreements expired, publishers shut down, or companies decided they no longer wanted to support them. That's what makes physical media so important. It isn't just about convenience. It's about preservation. Video games are part of our culture. They tell stories. They represent entire generations of kids just having fun. God, I can totally see my nongamer readers rolling their eyes. ## **Less Competition Means Higher Prices** Right now, if I want to buy a new PlayStation game, I have options. Maybe Amazon has it on sale. Sometimes Best Buy throws in a gift card. Costco randomly undercuts everyone, and a month later someone sells their copy on Facebook because they already finished it. Now imagine physical games disappear. Where exactly are you shopping? If every purchase has to go through Sony's digital storefront, there isn't much of a marketplace. Sony decides the price. Sony decides when games go on sale. Sony decides how much of a discount you're getting and how long that discount lasts. Like wtf, why are people okay with this. People always respond by saying digital games go on sale all the time. The difference is those sales happen because Sony decides they should happen and because they are competing with the physical discs. Competition gives consumers leverage. A single storefront gives the company leverage. Why give them even more? ## **Why Are So Many Gamers Defending This?** People are seriously defending this shit. Sony announces something that actually gives us fewer options. Someone points it out, and then the comments fill with people acting like you've personally insulted their family. Wtf. You can totally love PlayStation and still call out their bullshit. I love Nintendo, but they make some dumbass choices. Microsoft has made a shitload of them over the years. Steam isn't perfect either, so sit down and chill computer gamers. Being a fan shouldn't mean pretending every decision is perfect. ## **Convenience Is Great Until It's Your Only Option** A big misunderstanding in this conversation is that people think anyone criticizing Sony's decision wants digital games to stop. That's not the argument at all. I like digital games. The convenience is cool, sometimes I want to play a game and I buy it and download it within minutes. The problem is when convenience becomes the only option. If you want to download every game you buy, cool shit. Keep doing it. If you want to build a collection, shop for used copies, or know you'll still be able to play that game twenty years from now, you should be able to do that too. Maybe I'm completely wrong about all of this. Probably not. I am never wrong. Maybe twenty years from now every single digital game I've ever purchased will still be sitting safely in my library. Maybe every publisher will honor every license **forever**, every digital storefront will remain online **forever**, and nobody will ever lose access to something they paid for **forever**. I bet literally 100% of you read that and already know that shit aint gonna happen. ## **Thanks Everyone Except PlayStation** Thanks so much for reading. If you enjoyed this article, I'd love for you to subscribe to SavePointDad.com. Every week I write about gaming, fatherhood, fitness, and whatever other bullshit is bouncing around in my head. If this blog made you laugh, made you think, "Holy shit, he's right like always" share with a friend so they can say it too. Thanks again for being here. Also, I want to point out I know I am being super dramatic and felt the top image matched my level and that is rare. ### Be the Person Who Believes in the Dumbass URL: https://savepointdad.com/be-the-person-who-believes-in-the-dumbass/ Last updated: 2026-06-30T14:41:29.000Z I was recently asked if I would be willing to give a speech at my boss's retirement dinner. My answer was, "Does a bear shit in the woods?" I dunno why I love that saying so much. I guess because I like bears. Yes, bears shit in the woods. It wasn't until I sat down in front of my laptop a few nights later that I realized what I had signed up for. It wasn't because I didn’t have shit to say. It was because I had too damn much, as usual. How do you summarize almost a decade of someone's influence in five minutes? Do you talk about programs we built together? The promotions? The awards? None of it felt right. **Success Looks Different at Forty Than It Did at Twenty-Five** When I was younger, success was easy to define. Get promoted. Make hella money. Earn another title. Repeat until you retire. Honestly, I mean I still want those things. I'm pretty ambitious, and I don't think ambition is a bad thing. But, like with everything else, becoming a husband and a dad changed my perspective. I still care about climbing the ladder, but I also find myself thinking about what happens after the ladder ends. Nobody stands up at a retirement dinner talking about quarterly reports or budget spreadsheets. Nobody says, "Remember that incredible strategic plan from 2018?" **The Best Leaders Give You Opportunities Before You Think You're Ready** My boss trusted me with projects that I wasn’t comfortable with, meetings I sure as hell wasn’t qualified to be in, and responsibilities that forced me to grow and learn fast. Looking back, I wasn't always ready for those opportunities, but that's exactly why he was a good boss. One of the proudest moments of my career happened during one of his speeches when he recognized me in front of a room full of people. A room full of **very** important people. I wrote about that here: [*Facts vs. Truths: Why Truths Matter More... Usually*](https://savepointdad.com/facts-vs-truths-why-truths-matter-more-usually/). It's amazing how a few sincere words from someone you respect can stay with you longer than a raise or a good job review. **The Best Leadership Lessons Had Nothing to Do With Work** I kept thinking back to the most important conversations we'd had over the years, and barely any of them were about my actual job. The ones I remembered most were about my wife, my kids, and trying to find some kind of balance between building a career and building a family. Here I was trying to write about someone's professional legacy, but the memories that I kept thinking about were not about actual work. They were conversations about being present, remembering that careers come and go, and understanding that success at work doesn't mean shit if everything at home is falling apart. I think that's what separated him from a lot of bosses I've worked with over the years. He understood that people don't leave their personal lives in the parking lot when they come to work. Every employee is also someone's spouse, parent, son, or daughter. They bring their entire lives with them, whether we like it or not. I know people always say “leave your baggage at the door” but that is just not reality. Leadership isn't just about setting goals, managing budgets, or making difficult decisions. Like, no shit, those things matter, but they're only part of the job. The leaders people remember are the ones who genuinely care about their team, not just the position they happen to hold. To me, leadership starts with caring about people first. This was taken directly from my speech. **Understanding Doesn't Always Mean Agreement** I want to be clear, I didn't always agree with his decisions. If you've worked somewhere for years, that's impossible. There were meetings where I walked out thinking, "Are you fucking kidding me?" The difference is I understood why. I was fortunate enough to have a seat at the table where decisions were explained instead of simply barked at us. That changed everything. I still disagreed sometimes, but it never turned into resentment because I understood the context. Guys, that’s important. When you explain a decision, it doesn't always become a decision people agree with, but it will be easier for people to accept. Context creates understanding. **Help People Become Better** Writing the speech made me think a lot about my own career and life. I hope my kids remember that I showed up. I hope my wife remembers that I never let work or anything for that matter become more important than our family. I hope some dumbass I worked with says I believed in them before they believed in themselves. Eventually every title disappears and someone else gets your office. So that’s the theme I went with in my speech. It wasn’t about all the cool shit he accomplished. I talked about all the people he helped become better. **Thank You** Thank you for taking a few minutes to read another blog. If it meant something to you, I'd really appreciate you subscribing to SavePointDad.com. And if you've had someone who changed your career, your family, or simply the way you look at life, I'd love to hear your story. Reach out anytime at savepointdad@gmail.com or on Instagram @SavePointDad. ### The Fitness Industry Wasn't Designed for Parents URL: https://savepointdad.com/the-fitness-industry-wasnt-designed-for-parents/ Last updated: 2026-06-23T14:32:24.000Z Last week I was looking into a supplement that said it would improve recovery, sleep quality, reduce inflammation, and optimize all the other health bullshit. What was ironic is the fact that is was about 1 AM and my dumbass should have been asleep, recovering, and trying to optimize my health. It basically promised to do everything with one pill. Hell ya, I was in. The reviews were perfect. The guy selling it looked like he had never eaten bread in his life. Then I saw the price, laughed, and said fuck that I’ll stay tired. Seriously, it was expensive AF. It was a "I probably should mention this to my wife first type of purchase" expensive. The stupidest thing about it was to experience the full benefits, I needed to take it consistently for at least six months. Of course I did. Everything in fitness takes six months to a year. Nothing ever takes a week or a month. I was sitting there doing the math and I realized I was thinking about spending hundreds of dollars based on testimonials from strangers and a God damn TikTok video. Honestly guys, it’s bullshit what the fitness industry has become. The funny thing is that I genuinely enjoy fitness, now anyway. I work out regularly. I try to eat well. I like seeing progress. But the longer I've spent in the fitness world, I’ve realized fitness advice is designed for people living very different lives than the rest of us. **The Influencer Lifestyle is Their Job** Every time I log on to social media, I see another fitness influencer explaining how simple getting in shape actually is. They'll tell you their daily routine, which usually starts before the sun even comes up. There is meditation, hydration, mobility work, cardio, weight training, meal prep, recovery work, and enough supplements to stock a small pharmacy. By the time they're finished describing their morning, I've already had to remind one of my kids three separate damn times to put on shoes. Most of the advice is almost reasonable. Drinking more water is good. Exercising consistently is good. Getting enough sleep is good. Eating nutritious food is good. The problem is that these things are said like they're the only things happening in your life. Parents know better. I mean, shit, anyone knows better. Fitness isn't competing against laziness. Fitness is competing against all the other bullshit. It's competing against work deadlines, school events, grocery shopping, family obligations, getting sick, home repairs, and all the other random bullshit that happens. There are days when the biggest challenge isn't finding motivation to exercise. The biggest challenge is finding time. There are days when you're fully prepared to work out until life decides to throw something unexpected into your schedule. A sick kid, an urgent meeting, new floors, or some other crisis suddenly becomes the priority. We're not carefully optimizing every hour of the day. We're improvising our way through a never ending list of responsibilities and trying to stay healthy in the process. **The Trust Me Bro Economy** Fitness culture runs on confidence. If somebody looks fit, people assume they know what they're talking about. Like I get it, I honestly do. If a person is lean, muscular, and clearly in great shape, it's natural to think they know what the fuck they are talking about. Fitness has created an economy built around people confidently recommending products, protocols, and systems that usually do not have strong evidence supporting them. Every week there seems to be a new breakthrough. Nobody says, "This might provide a small benefit under certain perfect conditions." Trust me, they don’t apply to you. I don't blame people for wanting quick fixes, I sure as hell do. What bothers me is how fast the fitness industry turns possibilities into 100% guarantees. I like evidence and data. I like understanding why something works before I spend money on it. **The Most Frustrating Discovery in Fitness** The most annoying thing I've learned over the years is that the boring people were right all along. I hate admitting that shit. I really do. I wanted there to be a shortcut. Consistency matters. Calories matter. Protein matters. Sleep matters. Patience matters (I hate patience). That's it. Nobody gets rich telling people to follow basic shit for years. There isn't much marketing in telling someone that slow progress is normal. The basics work. **What Actually Works** The older I get, the more I appreciate realistic fitness goals. Not influencer goals. For parents, success is basically always different than what social media says. Success might mean getting three workouts in this week instead of five. Hell, it might even mean just getting one in during the week. Success might mean skipping eating out one day. Success might mean finding habits that fit into your actual life instead of constantly trying to build your life around fitness. I tried for years and it never worked. Parents understand this instinctively because we don't have the luxury of perfection. We all tried, but our kids put a stop to that shit real quick. **Final SavePoint** After years of reading fitness stuff, buying supplements, trying different programs, and falling for things that I knew weren't going to work, I've reached a conclusion that isn't particularly exciting. The fitness industry makes health harder than it needs to be. Ironically, the thing that helped me the most wasn't a supplement or some secret hack. It was finding a trainer who actually recognizes what my priorities in life are and what they are not. He works around my schedule instead of pretending my schedule doesn't exist. When work gets chaotic or family responsibilities get crazy, we adjust. He doesn't try to sell me bullshit, and he doesn't promise I'll have abs in eight weeks. He focuses on consistency, realistic expectations, and building habits that I can actually maintain like I said boring shit. So, if you're a parent trying to stay healthy, give yourself some grace. Keep doing the basics. Keep making progress. It’ll be slower than you want but that is reality. Thanks for reading. If you enjoyed this article, share it with someone who always falls for fitness bullshit. Subscribe to SavePointDad for more stories about fatherhood, fitness, gaming, and surviving adulthood without completely losing your shit. And if you aren't already following along on social media, wtf. ### School's Out. Parent Panic Has Started. URL: https://savepointdad.com/schools-out-parent-panic-has-started/ Last updated: 2026-06-09T18:18:50.000Z Summer vacation is here, and I was just as excited as my kids for it to start. I don’t know why either. You would think by now I would know better. I am a grown-ass man with a full-time job, bills to pay, and a house to keep clean. But every year when school is almost over, I catch myself counting the days until summer break right alongside them, like it’s going to benefit me somehow. I am so dumb lol. Then summer break starts and every parent has the exact same thought. "Oh shit. Now what?" Because the fantasy version of summer and the actual version of summer are two very different things. The fantasy version involves happy kids running through sprinklers, family adventures, barbecues, and memories that somehow turn into photo albums twenty years later. The real version involves trying to answer work emails while your son is asking for a snack for the fourth damn time in an hour and your daughter saying she is bored despite having approximately six thousand dollars worth of toys scattered throughout the house. The first few days always feel great. Everybody is excited. Nobody has to wake up early. There is no rush. No homework. No trying to remember if today is some bullshit Crazy Sock Day, Pajama Day, Twin Day, or some other school event. Then reality slowly starts settling in. The kids are now home all day, every day, for weeks. ## **Summer Turns Parents Into Event Planners** Summer starts feeling like a second job. Every night we have to plan our day and theirs. What are we doing tomorrow? Should we go to the park? Do we need to leave the house before everybody starts driving each other insane? And speaking of activities, they are seriously so damn expensive. Holy shit. Every year we look into camps, classes, sports, and other programs thinking we are being great parents. Then we see the prices and say Fuck that. The crazy part is that many of them only last a week. Or half a day. You pay enough money to fund a small military operation and your kid attends from 9 AM until noon for five days. That only leaves another eight hours to figure out every day for the rest of the summer. ## **Summer Survival** Then comes the snack situation. Kids eat a shitload of snacks. Not food, just snacks. We buy enough snacks to survive a natural disaster and they disappear within days. Every conversation starts the same way. "Dad, can I have a snack?" You literally just had one. "I know, but can I have another?" Then the fights begin. I can't even explain most of them. Somebody looked at somebody. Somebody touched somebody's toy. Somebody sat in somebody's spot. Somebody breathed too loudly. The reasons do not matter. The conflict will occur regardless. I love my kids more than anything in the world, but damn lol. ## **The Truth About Summer Break** The funny thing is that when I actually think back to my own summers as a kid, most of them were not that exciting. I think we forget this. My childhood summers were not filled with nonstop activities and carefully planned experiences. Most days were honestly pretty boring. I would wake up, pour myself a giant ass bowl of cereal, and park myself in front of the TV for hours. I had a schedule. First came Sally Jessy Raphael. Then Maury. Looking back, I probably should not have been watching daytime TV in elementary school. After that I would usually finish strong with a couple episodes of Little Bear. One minute Maury is revealing somebody's life-changing secret and the next minute a cartoon bear is calmly looking for a frog in the woods. After TV got boring, I would wander outside and figure something out. Sometimes I just sat around not doing shit. And you know what? It was great. Kids are allowed to be bored. We act like boredom is a crisis that requires immediate intervention. The second a kid says they are bored, we start scrambling. We suggest activities. We offer games. I swear being told "I'm bored" by a child standing in a room full of toys feels like being insulted personally. But despite what our kids might think, summer is not supposed to be nonstop fun. Summer is stressful, expensive, chaotic, and loud. The house stays messy. The grocery bill becomes terrifying. The fighting increases. My patience gets tested on a daily basis ..... by my wife. JK, kind of. But mixed into all of that chaos are the moments I know I will miss someday. The random conversations while driving nowhere. Lying on the grass outside. The ice cream runs. The afternoons that were not planned but somehow became memorable anyway. ## **What Kids Really Need During Summer** My kids do not need an event coordinator. They do not need every day packed with bullshit. Most of the time they just need us. Even if I find myself staring at the calendar and wondering exactly how many days remain until August. Thanks for reading. If you enjoyed this one, stick around. There are plenty more parenting, gaming, and fitness stories coming. Subscribe so you never miss a blog, and feel free to reach out anytime at savepointdad@gmail.com or on Instagram @SavePointDad. I'd love to hear from you. ### Video Game Dads Are All Kinda Messed Up URL: https://savepointdad.com/video-game-dads-are-all-kinda-messed-up/ Last updated: 2026-06-02T17:12:55.000Z I originally started writing this for Father's Day. Then I looked at the calendar and realized Father's Day isn't for another month. Whatever. I will probably just repost this then and pretend it was planned (deleting this line of course). That's basically how this shit works anyway. We act like we know what we're doing when in reality we're making decisions on the fly and hoping our kids and wife don’t catch on. When I was younger, my favorite video game characters were usually the strongest, coolest, and always knew what that the fuck to do. Now I'm a dad, and somehow I've become the guy analyzing fictional parenting styles. The funny thing is that some of the best dads in gaming aren't actually great people. They're grumpy, stubborn, emotionally damaged, and occasionally make terrible decisions. I decided to talk about four that come to mind. This is not a ranking, just a numbered list because the internet loves lists. ## **4\. Batman** I know Batman isn't “technically” a father, but the dude has accidentally assembled an entire family. Robin, Nightwing, Batgirl, Red Hood, plus about fifteen other people he picked up along the way. He is always claiming he works alone, but he sure keeps collecting family. The Bat Family is a reminder that family isn't always about blood. Sometimes it's about mentoring someone, supporting someone, or simply giving them a place where they belong. Batman is far from perfect. The dude has the emotional communication skills of a brick. His family is strong because underneath all the billionaire vigilante bullshit, they know he cares. That's one of the most important things a parent can provide. Not perfection. Not endless wisdom. Just a place where your kids know they belong. ## **3\. Bowser** I wanted to throw a curveball in here. Bowser has spent decades kidnapping people, trying to take over the world, and just being a dick overall. At some point you have to admire the commitment even if the strategy clearly isn't working. But whenever Bowser is with Bowser Jr., he comes across as a really good dad. He's supportive, involved, and genuinely seems to enjoy spending time with his kid. Bowser also likes to have fun with his kid. I think a lot of us need that reminder. We stop embracing the weird stuff that kids love. Bowser reminds me that being a dad isn't just about responsibility, it’s also about fun. ## **2\. Joel** Joel is from the Last of Us. The show is incredible and the game is even better. Joel might be the most complicated dad on this list. Life deals him an absolutely brutal hand, and it hardens him. It makes him cold AF and shut off. Then Ellie shows up. What makes the story so interesting isn't that he immediately becomes a father figure. He actually spends a good portion of the story trying not to give a shit. The problem is that Ellie slowly forces him to care anyway. Before he realizes what's happening, she's become family. That's what makes Joel resonate. He isn't clean and simple. He is messy and complicated. It leads him to make decisions that players still argue about years later. I still don’t know how I feel about some of the choices he's made myself. Whether you agree with those choices or not, they come from a place every parent understands. I saw a Reddit post once that the main lesson of the game is love doesn't always make life easier. Sometimes it makes life harder. Sometimes it forces you into decisions you never wanted to make. I completely agree with that on this one. I wish I could say I made it up myself, but I know one of you would call me out on it lol. ## **1\. Kratos** The original God of War story was basically rage the fuck out. Kratos’ strategy was violence followed by more violent violence. Nobody was looking at him and thinking, “Now there's fatherhood material.” Then the newer God of War games gave us something much more interesting. I mean I was okay with the whole violence thing but they decided to add depth to him. Kratos is still cold. He's still intimidating AF. Underneath all of that, Kratos is trying to make sure his son becomes better than he was. That's what makes him such a great dad. He's not trying to be perfect. He's trying to be better. He knows exactly what his rage cost him, and he is trying to protect his son from that. As a parent, that's incredibly relatable. Most of us aren't trying to become perfect moms or dads. We're just trying to be better. ## New Game Plus I couldn't think of any bridge to wrap this all up. I am pretty busy this week so you get what you get lol. Thanks for reading SavePointDad. Please share this with another parent, gamer, or somebody who still believes they could beat Kratos in a fight. It helps the page grow which is still so cool to me. ### How Do You Teach Kids Not to Be Selfish? URL: https://savepointdad.com/how-do-you-teach-kids-not-to-be-selfish/ Last updated: 2026-05-26T16:29:49.000Z One of the most annoying parenting realizations is the fact that we are trying to teach our kids lessons we still struggle with ourselves. FYI, I’m making a generalization that does not include myself. Chill, I’m joking. Selfishness. I have always said there are a lot of flaws I can deal with. A little stubbornness? Of course. A little messy? Whatever. Honestly, kids are supposed to be messy little goblins. But selfishness has always bothered me more than most traits because selfish people push everyone away. The problem is, selfishness is not exactly rare. It is built into us. You can see it in adults immediately. You are sitting there after a long day finally eating something in peace. Let’s just say pizza or fries. Maybe it is some dessert you hid because your kids treat snacks like trained police dogs searching for shit. Of course, your kids appear out of nowhere. “What are you eating?” And right there is the real test of character. Because before you answer, there is always the hesitation where you think. “Please do not freaking ask for this.” You are still going to share it because you are not a monster, but there is hesitation. Selfishness is human nature. I mean like shit, most toddlers literally scream mine all day. Also, I normally just tell my kids its spicy so they stop asking. ## **Entitlement** What makes this shit even more complicated is figuring out where the line is between raising nice kids and raising entitled kids. Giving your kids everything they want does not magically make them generous. Grateful kids appreciate things. Entitled kids expect things. Every parent wants to provide for their kids. We want and need them to be happy. We want to give them experiences we maybe did not have ourselves. The first surprise toy feels magical. The tenth one feels normal. Eventually they stop feeling thankful and start feeling confused when they do not get something. To be fair, adults do the exact same shit. One of the biggest parenting traps now is removing every discomfort immediately. Kids get bored? Hand them an iPad. Kids get sad? Buy them treats. Kids get frustrated? Solve the problem for them instantly instead of letting them struggle a bit. Then later we wonder why they struggle with gratitude or patience. The truth is kids need to hear “no” sometimes. Not because parents enjoy saying it, most of the time anyway. Saying no sucks. Children react to minor inconvenience like they just got hella betrayed. They stare at you like “how could you?!”. ## **Selfishness Pushes People Away** One reason I worry so much about selfishness is because I know what happens later in life. Selfish people struggle with relationships. Friendships get exhausting. Relationships get strained. Coworkers get frustrated. Kids know this to. Watch kids long enough and you will see it happen. The kid who never shares, always changes the rules, and only cares about themselves eventually ends up alone because the other kids stop wanting to play with them. That lesson is painful, but real. We are trying to raise kids who understand the world does not revolve around them. Which honestly is hard AF now because social media basically teaches everyone to become the main character all the time. ## **So How Do We Actually Teach Kids to Be Less Selfish?** Sorry, I don’t fucking know lol. There is no magical parenting strategy that guarantees your child becomes grateful and super nice. But I do think a few things help. Let kids hear “no.” Honestly, sometimes it does feel good to tell them no lol. Teach them to help even when they do not want to. Seriously, like 95% of the things I do everyday are things I don't want to do. To me the biggest thing is kids need to understand they are part of something bigger than themselves. That’s all I got. Hopefully it works. Thanks for reading. If this made you nod in agreement at least once, subscribe, share the blog, and follow along at SavePointDad.com for more gaming, fitness, and dad content. I am going to go tell my kids no now for some random shit. ### Adulthood Feels Fast AF URL: https://savepointdad.com/adulthood-feels-fast-af/ Last updated: 2026-05-19T16:01:25.000Z So last week I started writing this blog about our past [vacation](https://savepointdad.com/family-trip-prep-is-chaos/) but was rudely interrupted by my daughter deciding to verbally duel me. It was a brutal legendary battle but we're cool now. I know this is not a new thought, but lately I've noticed a lot that people have stopped just appreciating life and and instead manage it like content. Every good thing now feels like it needs documentation and proof. Family dinner? Take a picture. Vacation sunset? Better record it. Kids laughing together? Hold on, let me grab my phone first before they start fighting again like little maniacs. What’s ironic is it's not even for ourselves most of the time. We just naturally think this would make a good post. It is honestly kind of odd when you think about it. Then later everyone sits around saying the exact same shit: “Man, that went by so fast.” Well no shit. Of course it did. We spent half the damn time trying to capture it instead of actually being in it. That realization hit me hard recently because I started thinking about this past week alone. I genuinely cannot remember if I sat still and fully appreciated where I was. Not one time and I know my life is good. That’s kind of depressing honestly. ## **Life Seems like a Checklist** I don’t know if it’s always been this way but adulthood is basically one giant ass optimization project. Every moment has to lead somewhere. Even relaxing somehow became stressful. Vacations are basically military operations. We spend months planning the perfect trip, researching restaurants, creating itineraries, comparing hotels, plus trying to coordinate everyone’s schedules like we are preparing for an invasion. Then we finally get there and instead of enjoying ourselves, we spend half the trip worried about whether everyone else is enjoying themselves. Instead of enjoying the vacation, people spend half the trip managing it. Parents especially are constantly checking whether everyone else is having enough fun. “Are the kids bored?” “Should we be doing more?” “Why did we spend $200 just to end up eating pizza again?” And because vacations are expensive, there is like a pressure to maximize every second of it. Every day becomes packed so that everybody can be making magical lifelong memories nonstop. Then suddenly the trip is over and everyone says the exact same thing: “Man, that went by way too fast.” ## **Red Dead Redemption 2** One thing I love about video games is they remind you to slow down and appreciate the world around you. Take Red Dead Redemption 2 for example. That game practically begs you to slow down. The world is massive, beautiful, detailed, plus full of little moments that have nothing to do with the main game. You can literally spend hours fishing, camping, riding your horse through the woods, or just existing in the environment. Seriously, look it up right now. The game's scenery is amazing. My dumbass played as quickly as possible because I wanted to see the end of the story. Once I beat the game I had to go back and watch YouYube videos to see the parts of the world I rushed through. Sound familiar? That is basically adulthood now. With kids, I am starting to see life does not disappear in dramatic moments. It disappears quietly during boring routines. One day your kid asks you to play outside for the hundredth time and you are too busy. One day your kids stop asking you to watch them do every random annoying thing possible. And you do not notice those moments disappearing because at the time they just feel normal. That’s what is scary to me. ## **We Keep Chasing** I think a huge reason people feel stuck or even disappointed all the time is because we convince ourselves we’ll be happier in the future. I am sure you have all said one of these things: “I’ll relax after this project.” “I’ll enjoy life more once we move.” “I’ll be happier when I lose weight.” “I’ll feel successful once I make more money.” To be honest this blog is kind of short so I am using lists to make it look a bit longer lol. Even when we get the thing we wanted, we just start chasing something else. We are unbelievably bad at appreciating where we currently are. And look, I am not saying ambition is bad. Goals are not bad. I am just saying we are too good at missing our own lives while trying to improve them. ## **We Never Get This Time Back** As we get older we struggle with this a lot. It sucks realizing time is not moving slower anymore. It speeds the fuck up every year. Remember as a kid, summers felt forever. Now you blink once and Costco already has Halloween decorations out again. It’s terrifying honestly. A minute ago my kids were tiny and needed to be carried everywhere. Out of nowhere they have opinions, attitudes, favorite music, plus the ability to emotionally destroy you with one sentence from the backseat. We need to do a better job remembering life is happening right now. ## **1985** I do not think the answer is throwing your phone into the ocean and living like it is prehistoric times which is anytime before 1985\. Sorry whoever is older than me just took a stray lol. I like technology. I like posting online. Hell, this entire blog exists because I enjoy connecting with people through this shit. But I do think we need to stop acting like documenting life is the same thing as experiencing it. I am writing this as someone who still struggles with it. Thanks for reading. If you haven’t checked out the other blogs yet, go take a look and subscribe so you don’t miss future posts. You can always reach me at savepointdad@gmail.com or find me on Instagram at @SavePointDad. ### We Forgot What Being a Kid Felt Like. URL: https://savepointdad.com/we-forgot-what-being-a-kid-felt-like/ Last updated: 2026-05-12T14:39:02.000Z I sat down this morning planning to write a completely different blog. I was ready to write about our family vacation the good and obviously the bad. I already had the whole thing planned out in my head too. Then my daughter decided we needed a change of plans. We got into one of those damn parent versus kid standoffs where halfway through the argument you stop and think, "I am literally arguing with a kid and IDGAF." I was annoyed as hell, I kept thinking, “Why are we fighting about this?” Every answer felt like pushback. Every explanation somehow created another explanation. You know exactly the type of interaction I’m talking about if you’re a parent. But after shit calmed down and we cooled off, I started thinking about the whole thing again. Maybe kids are not always trying to be difficult the way we think they are. Like maybe they aren’t trying to be little jerks on purpose (I am probably giving them too much credit here). Maybe we as adults completely forget what it actually felt like to be a kid. Not the nostalgic movie version of childhood either. I mean the frustrating as hell parts. The powerless parts. We remember birthday parties, cartoons, and summer breaks. What we do not remember very clearly is what it felt like constantly being told what to do by people bigger than us, louder than us, older than us, and fully convinced they were right all the time. **Adults Think They’re Logical.** As adults, we love pretending we are logical and efficient. Meanwhile we lose our shit over traffic or long lines at Costco. So, let’s be honest with ourselves for a second. Adults are emotional too. We just get away with it. When we tell kids to do something, in our minds it is usually simple as hell. To us these are tiny tasks. Barely worth discussing. Put your shoes on. Clean your room. Brush your teeth. Get in the car. Stop yelling. Go to bed. But kids are not operating with adult brains yet. They use a logic we don’t understand anymore. They genuinely believe they are making perfect sense while we stand there completely confused about how they reached that conclusion. During the argument my daughter honestly believed her side made sense. In her mind, she was probably just as frustrated that I was not understanding her as I was frustrated she was not understanding me. Imagine how irritating as fuck that must feel as a child. Trying to explain yourself to somebody who already decided you are wrong before you even finish your sentence. When we do that to each other as adults that legit causes fights that can last years. Total side track, but this made me think of Breaking Bad when Walt is trying to save Hank from being killed and Hank tells him, "You're the smartest guy I ever met. And you're too stupid to see ... he made up his mind 10 minutes ago." **Childhood Is Always Being Told What to Do** I think one thing parents forget sometimes is how exhausting childhood probably feels from a kid’s perspective. Think about a kid’s day for a second. Wake up when somebody tells you. Wear what somebody picked. Eat when somebody says it is time. Go where adults tell you. Sit where adults tell you. Ask permission constantly. Be corrected all day. Be told to hurry up nonstop. Then repeat the entire process again tomorrow. Nobody likes being controlled all day. I legit feel bad even looking at that. Adults have one annoying interaction with a manager at work then text their spouse a play by play about how useless their manager is. Kids live under authority literally all day long while also trying to understand emotions they do not fully know how to process yet. **Maybe They Aren’t Trying to Be Difficult** Sometimes kids really are being stubborn dictators. Sometimes they are tired little emotional tornadoes looking to start shit over the wrong color plate or because somebody breathed too loudly near them. But other times I think they genuinely believe they are right. Not manipulative. Not intentionally disrespectful. Not trying to ruin your day. They honestly think their reasoning makes sense. And maybe sometimes it actually does using kid logic. Their feelings are huge. Their emotional regulation is still developing. Half the time they probably do not even fully understand why they are upset themselves. Honestly, most adults are not amazing at emotional regulation either. **Parenting Is Less About Winning** I need to try slowing down enough to remember my kid is a human trying to figure life out in real time. I find those perfect and patient parenting gurus who preach about speaking softly during every disagreement with kids annoying AF. That is social media fantasy land. Real parenting is messy. We fuck up sometimes. I still lose patience. I still get irritated. I still wonder why a five minute task somehow became a forty minute emotional negotiation. But I need to remember that perspective matters and I think you should try also. Maybe our kids deserve a little more understanding than we give them sometimes. Maybe kids are not always trying to challenge us. I mean they probably are, but let’s give them the benefit of the doubt. **Thanks** If this post hit home, you’re definitely not alone. Parenting is messy, loud, frustrating, and hilarious when you think about it. If you enjoyed this one, go check out the other blogs at [SavePointDad.com](https://savepointdad.com/) and subscribe so you don’t miss future posts. Share this with another parent who’s currently losing an argument to someone under 4 feet tall. You can also find me on Instagram at @SavePointDad. ### Family Trip Prep Is Chaos URL: https://savepointdad.com/family-trip-prep-is-chaos/ Last updated: 2026-04-28T13:44:42.000Z Every family trip starts the same way. You’re sitting there, probably thinking of some work bullshit, most likely tired, and you convince yourself that what your family really needs is time away together. It sounds like a good idea. You picture all the best parts in your head, the kids laughing, and them getting along. So, you book the damn trip. Surprise, MF. You didn’t just plan a trip. You just signed yourself up for one of the most logistically complicated operations you have to deal with as a family. **Packing for Kids Is Not Normal Packing** Packing for a trip with kids just sucks. When you pack for yourself, you grab a few outfits, maybe a backup, and call it a day. If you forget something, you deal with it. It’s manageable and not the end of the world. Kids require contingency planning. You are packing for everything that might happen, everything that can and will go wrong, and at least three scenarios that make absolutely no damn sense but somehow are freaking possible cause kids. You start with clothes, thinking you’ll keep it simple, the weather looks like it’ll be nice. Then your brain starts running through situations. What if it’s colder than expected. What if it’s hotter than expected. What if someone spills something (they will). What if someone decides halfway through the day their shirt is not the right shade of pink and needs to be changed. You’re not packing outfits, you’re trying to create layers of protection against unforgiving, unreasonable chaos. Now you’ve packed what feels like triple the amount of clothing any human should need. **You’re Packing Snacks Like It’s the Apocalypse** You would think that going somewhere with restaurants would solve the food issue. It doesn’t. Things they eat every day suddenly become weird to them. Things they loved last week are now gross. Meals turn into negotiations that make absolutely no sense. So now you’re packing snacks like you’re preparing for a long-term survival situation. You pack enough food to feed a small group of adults for days, even though you know you’ll still hear “there’s nothing to eat” at least once an hour. **No One Survives the Drive Peacefully** The drive is always where the reality of the life you choose kicks in. You leave and everyone’s in a good mood. Music is playing. You think maybe, possibly, this time will be different. It won’t be lol. It starts small. One kid looks at the other for too long. Someone’s hand crosses an invisible boundary that apparently exists. Suddenly you’re refereeing a full argument over something that would not make sense to anyone outside the car. Truth be told, it doesn’t even make sense to you. And you’re sitting there, trying to drive, realizing that you have multiple hours of this ahead of you. **School Complicates This More Than It Should** Then there’s school, which somehow manages to turn a normal family trip into a bureaucratic nightmare. Seriously wtf. You would think schools would encourage family time. You would think they would understand that getting away together, even for a week, is important and needed. Nope. Instead, you get the emails. The reminders. The warnings about attendance. They even threaten truancy notices. Like really? You bringing the law into this? The school may possibly even suggest to just say the kids are sick rather than on a family trip. Oh, perfect. So, the system is basically telling you to lie so everything looks fine on paper. Great lesson. Really love that we’re building character this way. **The Doomsday Clock Is Getting Real Close** After all of that, after the packing, the stress, the drive, the annoying arguments that felt way bigger than they should have been, you finally get there. And for a second, it actually feels worth it. The kids are excited. You’re in a different place. You start to settle in, and you remember why you wanted to do this in the first place. It doesn’t matter how well you planned. At some point during the trip, one of your kids is going to completely lose it. It might come out of nowhere. It might build slowly. But it’s coming. “I wish we were home.” The planning, the cost, the effort to get everyone there. It’s frustrating as hell. You even debate granting their wish. That’ll learn them good. **We Know Better. We Still Go** Family trips are not the polished version you see online. They’re messy. They’re unpredictable. They require effort. But they also create moments you don’t get any other way. I don’t feel like writing about those right now. I am still annoyed lol. Even knowing all of this, we still book the trips. We still go through the bullshit. We still pack way too much, deal with the arguments, and tell the schools what they asked us to say. It’s not smooth, it’s rarely relaxing, but that’s life. And honestly, we love it (I think). If you are about to take a family trip… good luck. Thanks for reading. If you haven’t yet, check out the other blogs and [subscribe](https://savepointdad.com/get-savepointdad-in-your-inbox/). Send me an email at savepointdad@gmail.com or check me out on Instagram @SavePointDad. ### State of the Union… I Mean SavePointDad URL: https://savepointdad.com/state-of-the-union-i-mean-savepointdad/ Last updated: 2026-04-21T14:51:50.000Z I don’t write these very often. You’re here for the dad chaos, the constant attempt to stay in shape, and trying to squeeze in some video games without a guilt trip. That’s what this has mostly been about. But I also know there are a few of you who always ask about the other side of this. The “content creator”/ “influencer” side of things. Even typing that out makes me roll my eyes and honestly just makes me feel embarrassed for myself. I get why people are curious, I sure as hell was before I started this. It’s been a while since I’ve talked about it, last time was back in [December](https://savepointdad.com/5-000-followers/), so this felt like a good time to check in. Let’s call this shit our State of the Union. Just a lot less official and actually honest. **Why I Started SavePointDad** This whole thing started because I was bored and wanted to see if I could create my own little space on the internet. I didn’t have a plan, I didn’t have some big ass vision of building a brand, and I definitely didn’t think about growth. Random dad moments, gaming, and what feels like the slowest fitness progress of all time. That was it. I didn’t expect anyone to read it. I didn’t expect anyone to care. I mean don’t get me wrong, I wanted people to read it and care but I did not assume anyone would. But some of you did, and that shit is wild to me. There’s something weird about putting your thoughts out there and realizing they connect with people you’ve never met. I’ve mentioned it before, but I have seen a lot of cool Dad pages start, post like 5x a day, then disappear. Some of them were actually really good and had a strong message. **Where SavePointDad is Right Now** Right now, SavePointDad is in a comfortable space. It’s not brand new, but it’s definitely not big either. I’ve got close to 7,000 followers on Instagram, which honestly feels kind of crazy when I stop and think about it. I laugh thinking about when I was at 489 followers and I would check every hour to see if I finally hit 500\. When I made it at 500, I felt like I had won social media. At the same time, the email subscriber side of things is a completely different story. I have doubled my subscriber count since December but it’s a very slow process. Some weeks I get 0 and other weeks I have had over 20 new subscribers. Only a small percentage of Instagram followers actually subscribe to the blog, and that’s been one of the harder realities to accept. Following someone is easy. It takes a second. Subscribing is different. It means someone actually wants more than just a quick scroll. It means they like the content enough to give you their email and everyone assumes giving up their email means they will get a shit load of spam. I want to make it clear that will never happen when you subscribe to SavePointDad.com because I don’t know how to send spam. **Consistency Is Hard as a Content Creator** I mean to be fair it’s hard with anything**.** Consistency is easily the hardest part of all of this. People make it sound simple. Just show up, keep posting, stay consistent. Some days I don’t feel like writing. Some weeks I don’t feel like posting anything at all. I think I have only missed one week of not posting a new blog since I started. As far as social media I try to post every other day. To be honest though, I have gone over a week without posting lol. It’s not like anything holds you accountable to it. Life gets busy, work piles up, the kids need you, and by the time you have a second to yourself, the last thing you want to do is sit down and spend time on social media. The other reality is that when you take a break from posting, you see it fast as hell. Engagement drops, reach drops, and it feels like everything kind of slows down for a while. I honestly do think it’s the social media’s algorithm way of punishing you. “You did not break up with us; we are breaking up with you” type of shit. Then when you come back, you’re trying to get that momentum again. Guys I am telling you it happens fast, like legit only after a few days of not posting. **Learning SEO and Growing Through Google** I bet a majority read that and thought, wtf is SEO. Well, my friends that stands for search engine optimization. It’s writing in a way that matches what people search for on Google so it will direct them towards your page. I realized that if I wanted the blog to grow, I couldn’t just rely on social media. I mean seriously how many people go on social media to find blogs. I sure don’t. That’s when I started paying attention to how people actually find content through SEO. Now, a good portion of subscribers come from Google search instead of Instagram. That’s why this is all broken up into sections with subtitles that can be Google search phrases. It helps SEO. Someone will search for it and it will match what my title is so it directs them to my page. **The Unexpected Part: Real Connections Online** The part I didn’t expect at all was the connection. I’ve had conversations with people I never would have met otherwise. Real conversations about life, kids, work, all the same things most of us are trying to figure out. There are people I genuinely look forward to hearing from now, and that’s probably one of the coolest parts of this whole thing. Like just yesterday I responded to an email from some dude in Spain, and the week before that, to a someone in Philippines. That is just cool. **Damn man, Subscribe Already** If you’ve been reading, commenting, or just quietly following along, I appreciate it more than you probably realize. This works because people connect with it. If you haven’t subscribed yet, well, subscribe wtf. I don’t want another week of 0 subscribers; I would like to break my record of 28 new subscribers in a week. Send everyone you know [this link](https://savepointdad.com/get-savepointdad-in-your-inbox/). Tell them, "This dumbass won’t ever send you spam because he doesn’t know how." And if you’re starting something of your own, keep that shit going. Even when it feels slow, even if it feels like no one is paying attention, just keep putting it out there. Engagement is cumulative, meaning it starts slow but picks up overtime. Everyday Google sends more and more people to my page and everyday I get more followers on Instagram even when I do not post. Google sent me an email about 8 weeks ago saying it will now begin showing my page in search results. I was like, “You asshole, you are barely going to start doing that!” Apparently, Google only tests your content for a few months before making it official. I started this on a random day because I was bored and wanted to see if any of my thoughts would land. They seem to have landed well …. for the most part. My wife gets angry from time to time, like last week lol. She’s planning to write a rebuttal to several of my blogs. When it’s done, I will probably just email blast it out to her and her friends only and they’ll never know lol. Appreciate you being here. Let me know where you want me to take this next. ### Solo Parenting as a Dad, When Your Wife Leaves for a Work Trip (Vacation) URL: https://savepointdad.com/solo-parenting-as-a-dad-when-your-wife-leaves-for-a-work-trip-vacation/ Last updated: 2026-04-14T18:24:55.000Z I could have been really dramatic and scroll stopping with the title but decided to chill out and add the second half. My wife just left for a work trip, and this one is way longer than usual. Technically, yes, it’s a work trip. But I like to call it what it really is, which is a God Damn work vacation. She’s staying in basically five-star hotels, eating at Michelin-star restaurants, and has activities planned the entire time. I’m not saying she’s not working, but she's not exactly stressing out either. Okay, I am saying she's not working. Meanwhile, at my job, I’m genuinely excited when they buy me a Subway sandwich and I can add cheese. That’s the reality of working for a nonprofit. ## **Solo Parenting Takes More Planning** When my wife leaves for a work vacation, I start thinking about it weeks ahead. I have to. My work schedule isn’t something I can easily move around. I have lunches, dinners, meetings, and a commute that takes up a good part of the day. There’s no big open block of time where I can just push things around. Then you add in the kids’ schedules. School drop-offs and pickups, ballet, homework, meals, bedtime routines, and everything else. It all has to be planned out ahead of time. It sounds like a lot, and it is, but we adjust and make it work. One thing that really stands out during this time is the mental load. When both parents are home, responsibilities get split without thinking much about it. One person handles clean up while the other gets the kids ready for bed. One remembers the calendar and school details while the other manages something else. Fun fact, I totally forgot my daughter had ballet today. She knew but decided to purposely tell me after it was already too late. Clever. When it’s just you, that balance disappears fast. You’re thinking about everything. What’s for dinner, what needs to be packed for school lunch, and how you’re going to fit your work into all of it. Everything stacks, and there’s no real break from it. My wife just posted pictures of her and her team paragliding..... how fun. ## **What the Day to Day Actually Looks Like** The reality of these days is that they can feel chaotic but like controlled chaos. One kid is hungry, another is tired, something gets spilled, and your phone is going off with work messages you can’t ignore. You’re trying to cook something quickly while also making sure everything is ready for the next day. What ends up happening is that you simplify things. For example, my daughter goes to school in a ponytail each day and my son eats cereal for breakfast each day. In the morning my daughter says “let me guess, I have to get school lunch.” I confidently answer yes not knowing what it is only that I don’t have time to make anything for her. You stop trying to make everything perfect and focus on what actually needs to get done. Some nights are smoother than others, but every night gets handled. ## **The Part I Actually Look Forward To** As stressful as this can be, there’s a part of it that I genuinely enjoy. It’s the time I get with my kids when it’s just us. There’s something different about it. It’s hard to describe, but it feels more connected. They open up more. They want to sit closer. The conversations feel more relaxed. It’s like we’re all a little more present with each other. I also let them have more say during this time. They pick what we eat for dinner, which usually ends up being mac and cheese. They also decide where they want to sleep. Sometimes it’s their rooms, sometimes it’s our bedroom, and sometimes it’s the living room. They love the change and it’s super exciting to them. It turns into something that feels less like a strict routine and more like just spending time together. ## **Support Systems Matter** One thing that makes a huge difference for me is having a strong support system. My parents show up in a big way when I need help, and I don’t take that for granted at all. They are quite literally the best damn grandparents, and my kids love them. My daughter’s first word was actually “Ball-Pa” for grandpa. Yes, it was insulting to my wife and I (totally joking). But it tells you everything you need to know about their relationship. Having that kind of support makes a huge difference during times like this and pretty much at all times. They show up and also begin preparing for my wife’s work vacations weeks ahead of time. It's literally a family production. ## **The Trade Off** It’s easy to joke about the five-star hotels and the nice dinners, and I do, but there’s a trade off here. While my wife is getting those experiences, she’s also missing time at home. Okay, never mind she just called to tell me her and her team are going to a huge festival that is like a giant party that the entire city puts on. She’s not missing home at all. She's extending the trip lol. While I’m dealing with the stress of managing everything, I’m also getting more one on one time with the kids than I normally would. It’s a different kind of experience that nobody would want to miss except …. my wife. Totally joking again. She's gonna be so mad....while she's in paradise. ## **Solo Parenting as a Dad** If you’re in the middle of this too, just know… it feels like a lot for me sometimes also. That doesn’t mean you’re messing it up. It just means you’re in it. The kids aren’t going to remember if everything ran on schedule or if dinner was delicious. They’re going to remember the random fun, the chaos, and the time they got with you. The nights you said yes to something small that felt big to them. So yeah, tell me what’s working, what’s not, or even tell me I’m completely wrong. I can take it. Shoot me an email at savepointdad@gmail.com or find me on Instagram @SavePointDad. [Tell a friend.](https://savepointdad.com/get-savepointdad-in-your-inbox/) ### Why Staying in Shape at 40 With Kids Feels So Damn Hard URL: https://savepointdad.com/why-staying-in-shape-at-40-with-kids-feels-so-damn-hard/ Last updated: 2026-04-07T17:26:34.000Z So this title sounded better in my head but now I think it may be too long, whatever. If you’re trying to stay in shape at 40 with kids, you’ve probably had this moment. You finally find time to work out. It takes planning and timing. You start moving, maybe even feel good for a few minutes, and then some shit pulls you away. Something spills. Someone is yelling your name from another room like it’s urgent, even when it’s not. My wife is guilty of this. She starts yelling my name just to ask me to grab her a bottle of water from the garage. The urgency in her voice makes me think there is a slight emergency. Nope. Never. By the time you get back, the momentum is gone. That used to frustrate the hell out of me. ## **Staying in Shape at 40 Feels Different** The biggest shift isn’t physical. It’s situational. Okay, physical too, but I am trying to make a point here. You don’t have 90 minute workouts anymore. Your schedule is full, your energy has already gone to the kids, and your priorities are just different. Recovery is slower too. It’s annoying. One hard session can linger, especially if your sleep is off. Then there are the distractions. Work, family, responsibilities, random chaos. You’re not just managing yourself anymore. You’re managing a life. So when your fitness routine feels inconsistent, it’s not a discipline problem really. It’s a reality problem. ## **What Being in Shape at 40 Actually Means** When you are younger, being in shape meant you were improving something all the time. You were lifting more weights, faster runs, a leaner physique. Progress was visible, measurable, and motivating. Guys, I will be honest, this is me speaking in theory. I really didn’t care about fitness until after 35 so I am assuming this is how it worked. Ya, I’m really kicking myself in the ass for that one. Now being in shape means you have enough energy to get through the day without feeling drained. It means your body feels reliable. It means you can play with your kids, get on the floor, get back up, and not think twice about it. Looking good matters. Let’s be real about that. But it’s not the main goal anymore. ## **The Mistake Most Dads Make With Fitness** I see a lot of men I know make the same mistake. They try the same approach they used before kids. They aim for long workouts, strict schedules, and unforgiving consistency. When life interrupts a few times, which it always does, they stop. Then they wait for the “right time” to start again. It can be weeks or months away. Always a Monday though. To me, the issue isn’t effort. It's expectations. ## **A More Realistic Approach** If you want to stay in shape at 40 especially with kids, the plan has to match your life. Short workouts matter. Twenty minutes counts. The goal is not perfection, it’s repetition. A short workout beats no workout. Fitness also has to fit into your life instead of running it. That might mean early mornings before the kids wake up. It might mean getting one in during a nap or doing a quick session between conference calls. It’s not ideal, but it’s realistic. And that’s the point. ## **Progress Is Slower, and That’s Normal** This part is hard to accept, but it matters. Progress takes longer now. [I literally just wrote about this last week.](https://savepointdad.com/video-games-lied-to-you/) It's still true and it's still annoying. Fat loss is slower. Strength gains are slower. Everything is slower. Quick changes don’t happen. The goal isn’t rapid transformation. Although I will say people don’t notice at all until suddenly they do and all of a sudden it feels rapid. Some days, you’re tired before you even start that shit. Some workouts feel pointless. That’s normal. There are weeks where staying in shape just means you didn’t stop. You did something instead of nothing. That still counts. ## **Stay in the Game** If you’re trying to stay in shape at 40 with kids, you don’t need a perfect plan. You don’t need long ass workouts. You don’t need to optimize everything which is all the rage now. You need something simple and realistic enough that you’ll actually stick with it. Some days it’ll feel easy. Most days it won’t. If this sounded like your life, send it to another dad who’s probably dealing with the same shit. That’s honestly how this grows. And yeah, reach out. I like hearing from you guys. What’s working, what’s not, even if you think I’m wrong. Send me an email at savepointdad@gmail.com or find me on Instagram @SavePointDad. I’ll see it. ### Video Games Lied to You URL: https://savepointdad.com/video-games-lied-to-you/ Last updated: 2026-03-31T14:46:10.000Z I’ve seen tons of posts about what video games teach you about being a dad. I am sure you have seen a few and they make a lot of good points. They come off a little cheesy and unrealistic to me at times though. So I’m going to take a different approach. Not because it’s deeper or more meaningful, but because it’s honest … and honestly, more fun. Half the shit I do is strictly to entertain myself. This isn’t about what video games get right. This is about what they got completely wrong about being a dad. ## **Parenting Progress Feels Invisible** I want to start with what I see as the biggest lie video games sold us on, progress is always visible. In a game, you always know where you stand in comparison to others. There is an experience bar, skill trees, better gear, higher damage numbers, something that tells you what you are doing is working. It’s easy to see when you are progressing. Being a dad does not work like that. You can wake up early, go to work, deal with bullshit all day, come home, try to be patient, help with homework, clean up, get the kids ready for bed, and still end the night feeling like you got absolutely nothing done. If anything, the feedback you get is the opposite of what you expect. You try your best and still get attitude, meltdowns, or complaints about something random like “I have to do everything in this house!” after you simply asked them to brush their teeth. What games get wrong is not that progress exists. It’s that progress is usually not obvious. In real life, progress is delayed, subtle, and super easy to miss. It shows up later like how your kids talk, how they handle shit, or how they treat other people. ## **“Side Quests” Are Not Optional in Real Life** In video games, side quests are optional. You do them if you want extra shit like rewards, better gear, or just to explore. If you are not in the mood, you say F it and go back to the main mission. Being a dad is basically a life full of side quests that you can’t skip. And most of them do not give you anything. You just got home from work and sat down for the first time all day. Now someone needs help with homework. You finally have a minute to yourself. Someone needs a snack. You were about to relax. There's always a mess. It's actually crazy how kids can make a mess in the time it takes for you to clean up the last one and before you can sit down. There’s like a 20 second gap where they can make it happen. These are not optional. You don’t get to say no because you are tired or not in the mood. I remember watching *That 70s Show* and Red, the grumpy old dad, told his son something that really stuck with me, “Being an adult just means doing tons of shit you don’t wanna do.” ## **You Are Not the Main Character Anymore** In video games you are the main character. The entire world and story revolves around you. You are the one making decisions and pushing things forward at your own damn pace. Being a parent flips that shit completely. You are not the main character in your life anymore. Your kids are. I’ve heard people say this a lot and it’s easy to nod your head and agree, but in real life, it is hard af at times because it changes your priorities and your very identity. The story is no longer about what you want and what is most convenient for you. It is about them. That is a truth that is hard to deal with and even harder to live out every day. Because a part of us still wants to be the main character. We still have goals, hobbies, and useless expensive shit we want to buy. That does not just go away. So now you are balancing both. You are trying to show up for your kids while also not completely losing yourself. There is no guide for this and everyone pretends like it's natural and super easy to do. ## **Effort vs Reward** Games make you think effort and reward are tightly connected. You put in work, you get something back. Simple. You beat a level, you get a reward. Duh. Games are built to give you constant feedback to keep you wanting to push forward. Being a dad means a lot of the time you have to push forward not knowing if you are even making the right calls. It sucks sometimes. The connection between effort and reward is not immediate. Sometimes there is none at all. And we hate anything in life that is not instant gratification. ## **Truth About Not Knowing** Basically, video games made us think we would always know if we were doing a good job. In real life, we don’t. You do the shit you don’t want to do. You handle the side quests that never stop coming. You try to be patient when you are exhausted. You choose your kids over yourself more times than anyone sees. And most of the time, it feels like there is no progress. You may not feel like the main character anymore, but that does not mean your role is smaller. You are just playing a different kind of game now. ## **One Last Thing** If this hits home for you, [share it](https://savepointdad.com/get-savepointdad-in-your-inbox/) with someone else who might need to hear it. This only grows with your support, and it means more than you know. And seriously, reach out. I love hearing your thoughts, your experiences, and even when you disagree. Email me at savepointdad@gmail.com. And if you’re not already following along, you can find me on Instagram @SavePointDad. ### We Need to Stop Treating People Like Heroes URL: https://savepointdad.com/we-need-to-stop-treating-people-like-heroes/ Last updated: 2026-03-24T15:45:42.000Z There is a tendency we have that has always worried me but it seems worse now then ever. It doesn’t matter if it’s business, fitness, parenting, or just life. We are always taking regular ass people and turning them into something bigger. Not just respected, even some admiration is okay, but raised up to this level where we act like they’ve figured every damn thing out and are somehow operating on a different level than the rest of us. And the bullshit part is, we all know that’s not true. Think about your own life. Do you know anyone who is actually perfect? Someone who never fucks up, never says something stupid, never makes a decision they regret, never has a bad day? I don’t either. And just to get ahead of shit, that includes me too (according to my wife). I’ve made bad calls, said things I regretted instantly, and had moments where I thought I had something figured out only to realize later I didn't know wtf I was thinking. Again, according to my wife. That’s just being human. So why do we keep acting like certain people are above that? ### **Why We Naturally Turn People Into Heroes** Life is messy, and we don’t like messy. We like clear, easy answers. We like confidence. We like the idea that someone out there has already figured things out so we don’t have to struggle through it ourselves. When someone seems successful or put together, it gives us something to work towards. I wouldn't even say we like it, we basically need these things. We start by respecting what they’ve done. That part is normal. Someone builds something meaningful, gets in great shape, or advocates for change. That’s worth paying attention to. But then it shifts. We stop focusing on what they did and start focusing on who we think they are. We assume they’re disciplined in everything, smart about everything, and consistent all the time. Without even realizing it, we turn them into something they are not. ### **Blurring the Line Between Story and Reality** This is the same thing we’ve always done with stories. We love characters who feel bigger than life. People who overcome all the bullshit, who stay strong when things get hard, who always make the right call at the right exact time. Look at Kratos from *God of War*. When you’re playing the game, he feels unstoppable. He’s strong as hell and focused. He’s so angry he gets the ability to kill gods and eventually even becomes one. Trust me, this MF is angry and has an absolutely terrible past. The difference is, people know this is a story. But in real life, we forget that. ### **The Problem With Heroes** The second you put someone on a pedestal, you’ve created a situation where they will disappoint you. Not because they’re secretly terrible. But because they’re human. Okay, looking at recent events they literally can be secretly terrible also. At some point, something will come up. It always does. Maybe it’s something they said years ago. Maybe it’s something they used to believe but no longer do. Maybe it’s just a moment where they show they don’t actually have everything figured out. And when that happens, people don’t step back and think it’s the past. They flip. The same person who was being praised gets torn apart. The same people who were defending them are now acting shocked, like they were lied to. The only thing that changed was the fake image they created in their head. ### **Social Media Makes Makes This Worse** Like everything in life, social media has made it worse. Everything is recorded now. Everything is saved. Everything can and will come back years later. So when we decide to treat someone like they’re perfect, we are going to be very disappointed when shit comes out about them. And it always does. You see it all the damn time. Someone builds something meaningful, helps people, creates real impact, and then years and now decades later something comes out. And suddenly, everything they’ve done or been part of gets questioned. Good work doesn’t suddenly stop being good because the person behind it isn’t a god. But when everything is tied to one single damn person, that’s what happens. ### **We’re Destroying Good Work by Focusing on the Wrong Thing** When we attach everything to one person, we make the work second to them. If that person falls, the work falls with them in people’s eyes. It doesn’t matter how many people it helped or how meaningful it was. It gets lumped together. We should be focusing on the impact, not the individual. The work should be able to stand on its own. The ideas should be able to exist beyond the person who shared them. Because if we don’t do that, we end up losing good things for the wrong reasons. ### **Final Thought** If you’re going to look up to someone, keep it grounded. Respect what they’ve done. Learn from the parts that actually apply to your life. But don’t turn them into something they’re not. Because the second you do that, you stop seeing them clearly. You start seeing a version you created. And that version will always fall apart. And honestly, we don’t need heroes. We need real examples, real lessons, and the ability to think for ourselves. If this made you rethink even one person you’ve been putting on a pedestal… congrats, you just saved yourself from future disappointment. Thanks for taking the time to read this. If you ever want to connect, feel free to email me at savepointdad@gmail.com. And if you’re not already following along, you can find me on Instagram @SavePointDad. ### Big Decisions Suck When You’re a Parent URL: https://savepointdad.com/big-decisions-suck-when-youre-a-parent/ Last updated: 2026-03-10T15:00:17.000Z Okay, so I am learning right now how being a parent changes the way you make decisions. I am sure you are thinking “no shit” but when you are in it and honestly considering making some big life changes, it really puts things into perspective. Before kids, life choices felt big, but they were pretty much about you and maybe your partner. You thought about new jobs, where to live, and what felt right for the two of you. It was your lives and you had the freedom and responsibility to make the decisions. There were ripples, but they did not feel endless and so overwhelming. With kids every decision feels like it has a thousand God damn consequences. “Should I take this opportunity?” was always scary but now it turns into a complicated mental puzzle that stretches years, hell even decades, into the future. Now I am asking how it affects my kids today, next year, and ten years from now. I start thinking about their school, their friends, their routines, and how a decision I make today might change their future in ways I can’t even see yet. It’s honestly scary as shit. **How Kids Completely Change the Process** Before kids, big life decisions where about your lives. You and your partner could talk about a job offer or whether it’s time to move somewhere new. You would think about the commute, fun things to do, and whether the change will make life better or more stressful. Once you have kids, the equation changes big time. Every choice grows into multiple new questions that didn’t exist before. You start asking how a decision might affect your kids emotionally, socially, and academically. It’s no longer just about logistics. It’s about their world and future. Like right now I am thinking, if we move, will their new school be good. Then I am like shit, is their current school even good? Will it be hard for them to make new friends? I start picturing them walking into a new classroom for the first time and feeling awkward AF and scared. And that’s just one part of it. What if this move ends up being the best thing for them? What if it ends up being a terrible idea? What if they hate it at first but then love it? How long will that take? What if they never feel like they fit in? We obviously want to protect our kids from feeling shitty, and that instinct makes the decision process feel even harder. The tricky part is that when your brain starts running through those scenarios, it usually focuses on the negative ones. At least mine does. I’m great at imagining the version of the future where everything goes sideways. Then goes sideways again. It’s funny because my career is basically anticipating scenarios and outcomes that can happen and planning for them. **Our Brains Default to the Worst Outcomes** It’s a fact that our brains are wired to focus on risk. From an evolutionary perspective, that made sense. Humans survived by spotting threats and thinking “fuck that shit, I’m out of here.” The downside is that the same habit can make modern decisions feel way scarier than they actually are. When we think about big choices, the mind often jumps straight to the possible problems. Those concerns are real and valid. But what we sometimes forget is that the future also contains good changes that deserve the same attention. Kids adapt faster than we expect, and sometimes change introduces opportunities that never would have existed otherwise. My current job only happened because I left a previous job for another but ended up hating it. When I left the new one, I found my current role and love it. **I Love Talking About Mass Effect** Okay, [I talk about this game all the time](https://savepointdad.com/had-to-be-me/), but I am going to go back to Mass Effect. Throughout the story, you’re constantly faced with bullshit that shapes what happens later in the game. It’s the same game I told you about that your decisions carry over to each game they make. So basically, decisions you made in 2007 would come back to bite you in the ass in 2012\. Some decisions feel small, but literally years later you realize they had a much bigger impact than you expected. A squad mate might live or die based on something you said earlier when you weren’t paying attention. Parenting decisions feel like that sometimes. Except instead of affecting fake characters in a video game, the outcomes affect your real life and your family’s story. No big deal. **There Is No Perfect Decision** One of the most annoying truths about parenting and life is that there is almost never a perfect decision waiting to be discovered. There’s no moment where a glowing sign appears pointing to the exact right answer. Instead, most choices come with trade-offs. Choice A might offer new opportunities but introduce uncertainty. Choice B might provide stability but pretty much stop growth. Eventually, though, you reach the same place most parents do. You realize that perfect certainty doesn’t exist, and at some point, you have to choose. That realization can feel both scary and super exciting at the same time. I mean I still haven’t been hit with this yet, but I assume I will be eventually. **What Kids Actually Need from Us** So, what do our kids honestly need from us when these big decisions happen? Kids don’t need parents who make perfect choices every time. That’s an impossible expectation for anyone to meet. They need parents who are willing to have hard conversations and consider how changes might affect them. They need parents who create stability and help them feel safe even when life is changing around them. And maybe, they need parents who are willing to take chances when those chances might lead to cooler shit. Or maybe not, and they need us to chill out. **Regret** Another part of the mental game people don’t plan for is what happens after the decision is made. Even when you choose carefully, some regret will show up later. You start wondering if another option would have been better or if you should have waited longer. Even the “right” decision will have moments where things feel hard or iffy. That doesn’t mean the choice was wrong. **Parents are Always Still Figuring It Out** Right now, I’ll be honest. I don’t know exactly what I’m going to do yet. Yes, I feel nervous thinking about the possibilities. But I also feel excited about what the future can be for us. Parenting is full of moments like that. Moments where you realize the choices you make today will create the experiences your kids carry with them for years. It’s a little scary. It’s also kind of super cool. **Thanks for Reading** If this resonated with you, feel free to share it with someone who might be in the middle of one of those big decisions right now or let me know the last big ass decision you had to make. Thank you for reading. If you ever want to reach out directly, email me at savepointdad@gmail.com. If you haven't, you can also follow along on Instagram @Savepointdad. ### When Your Kid Gets Hurt and Your Whole World Stops URL: https://savepointdad.com/when-your-kid-gets-hurt-and-your-whole-world-stops/ Last updated: 2026-03-03T15:41:47.000Z ## **A Different Kind of Cry** There is a very specific cry your kid makes when they are actually hurt, and it completely changes every emotion you’ve had that day. You can be annoyed as hell and literally counting down the minutes until their betimes, but that cry changes everything instantly. This isn’t the dramatic “they took my turn” cry or the "I feel like being whiny" cry (I have a theory who they learned this one from) . This one is deeper and filled with something almost primal that makes your body react before your brain catches up. You don’t think about running to your child when they get hurt. You just move. It’s crazy how fast that shit happens. Five seconds ago you were reminding them for the 5000th damn time to sit still or stop arguing, and now you would run through a wall for them. ## **The Dinner Table Disaster** The other night at dinner, my daughter was doing the annoying lean back in the chair move that every parent tells their kid to stop doing. I told her to stop because that's not how humans eat, even though I know there’s about a 13% compliance rate when I tell her. So instead of leaning back, she decided well this fool didn’t say I couldn’t lean to the side. She leaned too far, almost fell, barely caught herself, and thought it was the funniest thing she’d ever done. She looked at her brother and he laughed, which was all the encouragement she needed to try it again. Kids believe if something is funny once, it must be hilarious the second time. Okay, truth be told, I still think that but still. Unfortunately, the second attempt ended with her bulldozing her forehead into the sharp corner of our table when she came back up. It wasn’t a soft tap or a gentle bump. It was a full commitment, no hesitation blunt force mother fucking trauma collision. ## **Watching a Goose Egg Form in Real Time** She stood up and instantly started crying, not the fake kind, but the real pain cry that makes your heart drop into your stomach. When I looked at her forehead, I watched a goose egg form instantly. It swelled so fast it felt like slow motion and fast forward at the same time, like I genuinely do not know how to describe it, other than it was crazy AF. Within seconds it was the size of a golf ball. I asked my wife to grab ice and sat with my daughter on my lap. My body was already in response mode before my mind had finished processing what happened. Five minutes earlier I had been mildly irritated at her for not sitting still at dinner. Well, I was actually super irritated, it doesn't really add to the story but I just want to be honest. Now I was telling her that everything was okay while internally running through worst case scenarios. That emotional switch when your kid gets hurt is fast and super scary. ## **The Instant Guilt Parents Feel** Even though I had told her to stop leaning (multiple damn times), I still felt guilty. It makes no logical sense, but when your child gets injured, your brain immediately wonders what you could have done differently. You think about how you could have moved faster, been closer, hovered more. You imagine alternate timelines where you catch the chair mid-tilt and save the day. Parenthood has a way of convincing you that you’re responsible for the natural laws of physics themselves. Things got even worse when she reached up and felt the bump forming on her forehead. The second her fingers touched it, her eyes widened and the crying got even more intense because now she knew something was wrong. ## **Head Injuries and Parental Panic** I’ve broken a lot of bones and done enough dumb shit in my life to stay calm during most injuries. At this point I’m basically a part-time medic when it comes to broken bones and bloody injuries. I’ve set my own broken bones that shit sucks. But head injuries hit differently, especially when it’s your kid. When it’s a head injury you just don’t know. You start thinking about concussions and whether they’re acting “normal”. That shit is hard to judge for a kid. Like seriously, what is normal for a kid? They make no sense half the time. I wasn’t planning on taking her to the doctor especially since the bump was going down and I have been knocked unconscious from head injuries multiple times and never went to the doctor. I turned out okayish for the most part, I thinkish. My wife insisted we take her to the doctor, and she was right. She had a minor concussion but the doctor assured us everything was fine. Fair enough. I’ll give her that one. ## **How Parenting Resets in a Crisis** It really is crazy how quickly every annoyance from the day disappears. The arguing and the noise all go away when you’re sitting there holding your hurt kid. It feels like parenthood gets renewed almost. You’re not thinking about did they pick up their mess or whether they finished their vegetables. You’re thinking about protection, comfort, and whether they’re okay. The job really simplifies itself in a crisis. There’s something grounding about it. It reminds you that beneath the bullshit of daily parenting, there’s a fierce primal love that activates without hesitation. ## **Kids Make Dumb Choices, and We Show Up Anyway** Kids are not known for their strong risk assessment skills, some would argue I am not either. They will almost fall, think it’s hilarious, and then immediately try to recreate the stunt to impress a sibling. That’s not rebellion, that’s just childhood mixed with terrible physics. They test limits because that’s how they learn. Unfortunately, sometimes the lesson involves pain. Growth is messy, loud, and painful. In [Setting the Right Expectations](https://savepointdad.com/setting-the-right-expectations/), I said growth is uncomfortable but damn in kid’s cases it is literally painful at times. Our job isn’t to prevent every fall, because that’s impossible. Our job is to show up when they do fall and be the steady presence they need. Even when they seriously concuss themselves trying to be funny. ## **When Your Child Gets Hurt, Everything Else Fades** She’s fine now and back to jumping on shit she shouldn't be jumping on. I’m back to pointlessly telling her to sit right in her chair, fully aware that history may and probably will repeat itself with her or my son. That’s parenting. But every time one of my kids gets hurt, I’m reminded how fast irritation turns into fierce protectiveness. You would take the goose egg for them in a second without hesitation. That instinct is immediate and absolute. If you’ve ever heard that cry and felt your whole world stop, you know exactly what I’m talking about. It’s terrifying, humbling, and strangely bonding all at once. Thank you for reading. If this resonated with you, please share this blog. This space has grown because of your support. If you ever want to reach out directly, email me at savepointdad@gmail.com. If you haven't, you can also follow along on Instagram @Savepointdad. I received a lot of messages about last week's blog [If You’re Going to Be Bad at Your Job, At Least Be Kind](https://savepointdad.com/if-youre-going-to-be-bad-at-your-job-at-least-be-kind/). Damn, you all work with some shitty coworkers. I hope they are all at least kind. Thanks for sharing your stories with me. ### If You’re Going to Be Bad at Your Job, At Least Be Kind URL: https://savepointdad.com/if-youre-going-to-be-bad-at-your-job-at-least-be-kind/ Last updated: 2026-02-24T21:17:03.000Z ### **Meeting Debriefs** I am in meetings ALL damn day for work. They are in-person and virtual. There is a very specific kind of conversation that happens after a meeting ends between trusted coworkers. The fake smiles disappear. And then a debrief happens so everyone can confirm the meeting was pointless and that some people on the meeting just made everyone else’s job harder. That happened to me recently like literally 5 minutes ago. After the meeting was over, my coworker called me and within seconds we were processing. Not in a shit talking way, but in a confused, how the hell is this shit still happening kind of way. We started talking about a colleague at another organization. We were not gossiping for entertainment (this time anyway). We were trying to understand some bullshit that genuinely impacts workflow, morale, and results. ### **The Nice But Shitty Employee** This person is okay at best at their job. They miss deadlines with impressive consistency. Their writing has tons of errors similar to mine. At one point I genuinely wondered if we were operating under different math systems. Projects do not collapse because of them, but they are definitely kind of wobbly. But and this is a big one; they are kind and pleasant. Warm even. They respond to emails with gratitude. They apologize when they drop the ball and actually mean it. The crazy part is, everyone loves them. People protect them. People quietly fix their mistakes because they make the workplace better and more fun. They may struggle with their actual job, but they excel at being a kind person. ### **The Mean and Shitty Employee** Now there is the opposite. Another colleague. Exact same issues. Deadlines are a suggestion at best. Emails go unanswered. Public speaking is terrible. Preparation does not appear to be their hobby. But unlike the first person, they are not kind or pleasant to be around. They are sharp. Defensive. Hella mean. They have mastered the art of making simple collaboration feel like torture. A basic clarifying question somehow becomes an inconvenience to them. Their reputation spreads before they enter a room. People warn others in advance. There is tension attached to their name. It is not just about shitty work. It is about how they make people feel around them. ### **At Least Be Kind** Both are shitty at their jobs, but only one struggles with kindness. Guess which one people defend. Guess which one people quietly avoid. This got me thinking about some simple life advice. If you are going to be shitty at your job, at least be kind. It sounds sarcastic, but it’s not. I see this as actual strategic job advice. It’s advice for surviving and thriving in professional environments. Workplace kindness is needed. It directly impacts morale, productivity, collaboration, and long-term reputation. ### **You All Have Weak Spots at Work** We all have weaknesses at work. You do. My coworkers do. I don’t but I digress (JK). Nobody masters every aspect of their role. Most people are learning something in real time, even if they do not admit it out loud. When I taught at a local university I would basically review the textbook and watch YouTube videos of the content the night before class. This actually happens more than students realize. Teachers are basically a night ahead of them. Maybe you are figuring out budgets. Maybe public speaking makes you nervous. Maybe you need better writing skills, I fall into this category. Growth requires discomfort. What does not require training, or should not in theory, is decency. You do not need a webinar to teach you to respond respectfully. You do not need college to be able to acknowledge mistakes. ### **How to Make Work Worse** My best guess is when people feel insecure about their roles, they overcompensate with their tone. They get sharp. They get defensive. They hide behind how crazy busy they think they are. Almost like being intimidating will distract from being shitty at their jobs. It does not. I actually think it magnifies it. People begin to look for more of their faults. When someone is both terrible at their job and mean as hell, their mistakes become easier to see. The mistakes feel bigger. Colleagues begin to feel the weight. This is how toxic workplaces start. Not through dramatic fights, but through consistent, low key tension layered on top of poor work. ### **There will be No Explanation, There Will Just be Reputation** I have a very external facing job, meaning I work with people outside my organization more than people within my organization. Reputation spreads faster than job competence. If you are kind and struggle with your job, people will say, “They are doing their best.” If you are mean as hell and struggle with your job, people say, ”Be sure to document everything with them” or even worse “Try to limit interaction with them” That shift changes how opportunities flow. Kind employees receive support. They receive second chances. They receive mentorship. Rude employees receive documentation at best and avoidance at worst. Professionalism is not just about performance metrics. People’s past work experiences with you becomes your brand. ### **I am Stressed Too. WTF.** Everyone has a complex life. You do. I do. The person you snapped at does too. Stress is universal. What has always irritated me is how people use their own stress to justify shitty behavior, but do not extend that grace to others. “I have a lot going on”, okay well I do too wtf. Workplace kindness requires understanding that complexity runs both directions. If you are going to be shitty at your job, at least be pleasant. If you are learning, be humble. If you miss a deadline, own it. If you struggle with a skill, ask for help. Mean plus being shitty at your job is a dangerous combination. It does not build authority. It builds resentment that compounds day by day. People don’t forget. People talk. ### **If You’re Struggling, Struggle Kindly** At the end of the day, we will not be remembered for a perfectly formatted spreadsheet. We will be remembered for how we treated people when things were messy. Guys you are going to struggle, so struggle nicely. Also, please tell me you caught the Taylor Swift quote. Thank you for reading. If this resonated with you or reminded you of a workplace jerk, feel free to share it. This space has grown because of your support. If you ever want to reach out directly, email me at savepointdad@gmail.com. If you haven't you can also follow along on Instagram @Savepointdad. ### I Used to Game at 5:30 AM. Now I Watch Monster Trucks URL: https://savepointdad.com/i-used-to-game-at-5-30-am-now-i-watch-monster-trucks/ Last updated: 2026-02-18T15:27:36.000Z When people would tell me life changes when you have kids I always thought “Ya, no shit.” It’s crazy though that yes there are major changes that happen day one. There are others though you may not realize how gradually they happen. There is no dramatic moment where someone officially announces that your old routines are gone. Before you know it, your mornings, holidays, and even your Friday nights look completely different than they did before. When I really stopped and thought about it, it felt almost unbelievable how much had changed without me even noticing. When did I concede power to these little humans? ## **Early Mornings** I have always been a morning person. Waking up at 5:30 AM has never felt painful to me. I actually love it. It’s always been my time and honestly the coffee tastes better. That hour or two before everyone else wakes up belonged to me. I would make coffee, read, then play a video game. It gave me time and space to decompress before the day’s bullshit started. Well, my son also enjoys waking up at 5:30 AM. Apparently he also needs time and space to decompress before his day’s bullshit starts. At first, I did not think much of it, I figured it was a phase. It wasn’t. He wakes up almost like he has somewhere important to be. He sits down to drink a cup of warm milk while I drink my coffee. Within twenty minutes, he asks to watch TV. The same TV that I am playing video games on. He wants monster trucks. Loud engines and bright flashing colors filling the living room before the damn sun comes up. So now my early morning gaming hour has disappeared. I can’t remember when I conceded and gave it up. It just slowly turned into me sitting next to him on the couch while we watch Monster Trucks. If someone had told me years ago that my peaceful 5:30 AM gaming time would become monster truck viewing time, I probably would have laughed. Now it feels completely normal. That is the crazy part about how much life changes with kids. It feels natural. It feels like the obvious choice. And you barely notice it happening until you stop and think about it. ## **Valentine’s Day with Kids** Valentine’s Day is another example of how priorities shift. Before children, Valentine’s Day meant fancy dinners, gifts, maybe even a hotel stay or a quick getaway. I remember calling restaurants a week or two ahead trying to get on the reservation list. Now Valentine’s Day looks very different. This year we booked a hotel, not for us, but because our kids absolutely love hotels. Every time we drive by one my daughter or son will ask to stay. My wife surprised them by decorating the hotel room before they walked in. She filled it with balloons and small decorations, turning it into a celebration just for them. When we opened the door they ran in like they had just been handed the best gift ever. Valentine’s Day was no longer just about us. It was about creating memories as a family. Holidays in general shift like this when you become parents. Christmas morning becomes about making sure they feel the holiday magic. Birthdays become annoying big ass productions. You realize that the joy you get from watching them experience something special outweighs the adult-centered celebrations…well most of the time. ## **Friday Nights** We have always eaten out on Fridays and had a routine. My wife would say she did not care what we ate, and I would suggest five or six places. Somehow, every suggestion would get vetoed, even though she clearly did not care. It was something I could count on at the end of a long week. Now Friday nights revolve around what our daughter wants to eat. She usually suggests McDonald’s, and that is it. There is no debate and no veto power. There are no backup options. These small family routines become anchors. They give kids something predictable in a world that is changing around them. I have written a lot of these now but I know one of my blogs was about how scary it must be for kids living in a world they have no control over. As a parent I now see how much they need habits and rituals. It gives them comfort and a small imaginary sense of control. \*Okay, so while proofreading this, I went and looked it up and couldn't find any past blogs like that. Looks like I now have my next topic. What’s funny is my spelling and grammar is so bad my wife has asked me several times if I even proofread these. Yes, I do actually. Thank you very much. ## **Priorities Change** When you really think about how much life changes with kids, it becomes clear that we just like to pretend we have control. Mornings revolve around someone else’s schedule. Your holidays revolve around someone else’s joy. Your free time becomes their time. You begin to measure success differently. It is no longer about how productive your morning was or how fancy your plans look. It is about making sure you are connected with these little humans. It is about whether your kids feel seen and safe and excited to be around you. It feels like growth and I am okay with that, most of the time. ## **It's Messier. It's Louder. But it's Real.** This is life, and it is good. The monster truck mornings, the decorated hotel rooms, the predictable McDonald’s Fridays are not downgrades to me. It is easy to romanticize the freedom and spontaneousness of life before kids. It is tempting to remember uninterrupted mornings and adult conversations that lasted as long as you wanted. Yes, I miss those days sometimes, we all do, but things now feel heavier in a good way. A quiet cup of coffee alone used to feel peaceful. Now a loud ass breakfast with my kids fighting and one telling me about a dream they had somehow feels peaceful. It's messier. It's louder. But it's real. One day my son will not wake up at 5:30 AM to sit next to me. One day my daughter will not automatically choose McDonald’s for Friday night. One day Valentine’s Day might return to candlelight dinners and quiet hotel rooms. When that happens, I know I will miss these exact moments that currently feel loud as hell or sometimes boring. The chaos that feels constant right now will be gone. I will get my old routines back and then miss these days. ## **Thank You** If you are in this stage right now missing your old routines and freedom, just know you are not alone. Every parent feels and thinks about it. Just remember these times will be over before you know it and you will want them back. Thank you for reading. If this resonated with you, please share it with someone who might need the reminder. This space has grown because of your support. If you ever want to reach out directly, email me at savepointdad@gmail.com. If you haven't you can also follow along on Instagram @Savepointdad. I appreciate you being here more than you know. ### Kids Love to Humble Parents … In Public URL: https://savepointdad.com/kids-love-to-humble-parents-in-public/ Last updated: 2026-02-10T16:18:21.000Z Parenthood humbles the shit out of you. It’s not even gently or slowly over time, but pretty much the second kids are born. As they grow they continue their service of humbling parents very publicly. You can wake up feeling confident, capable, even slightly on top of things, and by lunch your child has reminded you exactly who is really in charge. They do it with confidence and commitment, and with absolutely zero concern for consequences. It's actually crazy to me how they know there will be consequences but decide to proceed. They know what they are doing, and they also know you are boxed in by social norms, judgmental strangers, and your hope to raise a decent human. That combination gives them a surprising amount of leverage. It sucks when you really think about it. Kids do not care who you are outside the house. Your job title means nothing. Your accomplishments do not matter. The version of you that gets applause at events does not exist to them. At home, and especially in public, you are just Mom or Dad, and your authority is negotiable. They truly are tyrants. ## **Kids Need an Audience** Kids know that in public spaces parents still have a little pride left to lose, which makes them perfect stages. They know exactly when you are least prepared. They sense vulnerability, and once they feel it, they commit. Public settings add pressure because you are not just parenting, you are managing optics and social norms. Kids feel that tension, and somehow that makes the moment even more tempting. It’s like they have to take advantage. I am laughing to myself because I am making them sound like little apex predators. ## **Even Powerful Adults Get Outsmarted** I was reminded of this recently at work when a coworker brought her kid into the office. This is someone who is second in command, a Vice President. She is sharp, decisive, and commands a room with ease. When she speaks, people listen. Meetings move. Decisions get made. She asked her daughter something incredibly simple. Can you please put on your jacket? The answer came fast. Nope. She asked again, calm and reasonable, the way you do when you believe in humanity. The answer stayed the same. Nope. That was it. The decision had been made. The jacket was not going on, not because it was uncomfortable or did not fit, but simply because the child decided today was not the day. No negotiation, no explanation, just a lot of nopes. I myself was scared and was about to go grab my jacket and put it on. You could see the shift happen. There is always a brief pause where a parent realizes this is not the hill to die on. The moment where authority gives way to strategy. A Vice President being out-negotiated by someone who still needs help wiping their butt. ## **Why Parents Should Not Be Embarrassed** Most parents would feel embarrassed, but I do not think they should. Every other parent in the office watching felt something very different: relief. Thank God it is not just my damn kid. There is a weird comfort in seeing another capable, competent adult get humbled by their child. It reminds you this is not a failure of leadership or discipline. This is just parenting. We all take turns being the example, whether we volunteer for it or not. I won’t lie, I hate when it’s my turn. Watching moments like that also creates a sense of community, we are survivors of these mini tyrants. You may not say anything out loud, but you are rooting for that parent to get through it. ## **Costco** Last week, I took my little man to Costco with me. He asked to get out of the cart and I agreed, which turned out to be a rookie mistake. In my head, I pictured a calm stroll down the aisle. He had other plans. The moment his feet hit the ground, he took off. I caught him quickly and put him back in the cart, trying to stay calm and not draw attention. Little did he know I just ran 13.1 miles catching a 4 year old is nothing to me. I laughed silently to myself thinking "lil fool". He decided to continue this battle. He started yelling that I was a bad Dada. Loudly. Clearly. Repeatedly. He made sure the message was heard loud and clear. People turned and people laughed. ## **From Applause to Public Shaming** I hope you all read last week’s blog [Facts vs Truths: Why Truths Matter More (Usually)](https://savepointdad.com/facts-vs-truths-why-truths-matter-more-usually/). I had written about having entire audiences applaud my work. Literally stand and applaud. None of that mattered to him. In that moment, according to my son, I was the worst Dada alive, and he made sure everyone within 2-3 aisles knew it. People looked. Thank you to those who pretended not to hear. A few parents gave me the nod that says they have been there too. One week you are feeling competent and confident. The next you are being publicly demoted in the frozen foods aisle. ## **What Kids Teach Us About Control** Kids have an incredibly annoying ability to cut through whatever story you are telling yourself. They live entirely in the now. What matters to them is what they want right now. If you are standing in the way, you are the villain. They must destroy you. You cannot reason your way out of it or explain context. You just hold the line, breathe, and accept that your reputation is temporarily out of your control. That acceptance does not come easily. Trust me, you will practice this a lot with them. Over time, these moments chip away at your ego. They teach patience, restraint, and perspective, even when the lesson is uncomfortable. Well, I write this hoping that's what it’ll teach me. I am still in the kids chipping away at my ego portion of this. Parenthood strips away ego and replaces it with perspective. It teaches you that being in charge does not mean being in control and helps you decide which battles are worth fighting. Parenthood also teaches us to laugh. Not always in the moment, but eventually. Sometimes later in the car or after bedtime. It does come eventually and it does help. It also gives me something to write about. ## **Thank You for Sharing** Thank you for reading. Thank you for subscribing. And thank you for being part of this. ### Facts vs Truths: Why Truths Matter More (Usually) URL: https://savepointdad.com/facts-vs-truths-why-truths-matter-more-usually/ Last updated: 2026-02-04T17:46:51.000Z Please don’t come at me for the title. I thought it sounded catchy. I am sure you can argue that facts matter more but stick with me on this one. A few years ago, my boss randomly told me something that stuck with me. What’s funny is I don’t think he meant it to be life advice or maybe he was just trying out a new phrase to see if it resonated. Well, it did. It was something I really needed to hear. “There are facts, and there are truths. Truths matter more.” At the time I just nodded along saying okay while I daydream about what I was going to eat for lunch. But like most meaningful ideas, it did not fully land until life gave me something to attach it to. Recently, while running the Disney Half Marathon with my wife, that phrase came rushing back after the race. ## **Facts Are Easy to Measure. Truths Take Context.** Look, I love facts. They are clean and measurable. They live in spreadsheets, race results, numbers, and headlines. Facts tell you what happened, but they rarely explain why it mattered or how it felt while it was happening. To me, truths are different. Truths require context, perspective, and usually some humility. The fact is my time for this latest half marathon is slower than my last. The truth is I ran a better race. A fact might be someone else accepted an award. The truth is I did the work that earned it. Both can exist at the same time, but only one tells the whole story. Context is mother fucking everything. ## **The Monterey Bay Half Marathon: A Win on Paper** In November, I wrote a post called [*Thirteen Miles of Random Thoughts*](https://savepointdad.com/thirteen-miles-of-random-thoughts) after running the Monterey Bay Half Marathon. That race was about performance and progress. I trained consistently, stayed disciplined, and pushed myself further than I ever had before. Factually speaking, it was a big ass win for me. I beat my previous half marathon time by about 20 minutes. The clock confirmed it. The results backed it up. By every running metric, it was a success. That race mattered to me because it proved something. It showed that consistency adds up (I’m sure you are all thinking no shit) but when you finally experience the results it matters. It reminded me that progress does not always feel dramatic, but it adds up. ## **The Disney Half Marathon: A Different Kind of Win** Fast forward to this past weekend where my wife and I ran the Disney Half Marathon. This time, my wife and I ran the race together. Here are the facts. My time was slower than the Monterey Half Marathon. I did not beat my personal record. We stopped for tons of photos and a bathroom break. We walked at moments because we wanted to and we were just enjoying the morning air. If you only look at the numbers, this race looks like a step backward. The truth is that this race meant more. We stayed together and we finished together. We talked, soaked it in, and even got a dorky pic of us crossing the finish line together. This race was different because there will not be another DisneyLand Half Marathon for the foreseeable future. Most people are assuming 10ish years. We are going from running them every six months to now not knowing if and when there will be another. We just enjoyed our time together and took it all in. That matters more than shaving a few minutes off a race. ## **When Slowing Down Is Actually Progress** If you factor in everything that mattered, I beat the Monterey Bay Half Marathon. Not in minutes but in meaning. The truth is that I would not trade that experience for a new record. Because this race was not about proving something to myself. It was about choosing presence, patience, and partnership over performance. Okay, look I do have to add that if we subtract all the pictures and bathroom break technically I would have beat my time but that is beside the point. Marriage changes how I define winning. Success becomes less about being first and more about staying on the same path and having a sense of understanding. Easier said than done. ## **A Leadership Moment That Made It Click** Two years ago, a project I created and led received a major award. I am proud of it and it still defines my career. The ceremony was fancy as fuck. Generally I try to avoid these things but my wife likes having a reason to wear a dress and heels. That gives me a reason to go. It was the kind of awards ceremony that executives, elected officials, and community leaders all attend. Factually speaking, the CEO of my organization went up to accept the award on behalf of the organization. That is normal. That is how these moments work. But as he was finishing his thank you speech, he stopped. He paused and said, “Although I am accepting this award it really belongs to someone else.” Then he asked me to stand. ## **Being Seen for the Truth** He made it clear to everyone in the room that this project was my idea and work. It was my leadership. My vision. He gave me full one hundred mother fucking percent credit. It meant a lot to me. For one brief moment in time, I had three members of the House of Representatives, a Senator, colleagues from all throughout California, and my wife standing and applauding for my dumbass. It is still one of the proudest moments of my life. The award mattered. But being seen mattered more. Yes, the fact is the award has my organization's name on it, but the truth is the award is mine. That moment shaped how I think about leadership. Real leaders do not recognize good work. They recognize people. Later that night he confessed that he was hoping that he embarrassed the shit out of me. ## **Why This Matters Beyond Running and Work** We live in a world obsessed with measurable outcomes. Time, money, titles, follower counts, race results. Those things are not meaningless in any way, but they are incomplete. Facts tell you what happened. Truths tell you why it mattered and how it felt to live through it. If you only chase facts, you will always feel behind. There will always be someone faster, richer, or more accomplished. Truths offer a different scorecard. One that includes being happy, connection, and showing up for the people who matter most. I see this play out all the time in parenting, too. The fact might be that you missed bedtime because work ran late or life got messy. The truth might be that your kid still remembers the random Tuesday you stayed up late playing Super Mario with them or listening to them ramble about something that made absolutely no sense. The fact might be you did not make every school event. The truth might be that when you were there, you were fully there and not just waiting to leave. The same thing happens with health and fitness outside of race day. The fact might be that the scale did not move this week. The truth might be that you slept better, ran farther without stopping, or did not quit when you normally would have. The fact might be that your routine is not perfect. The truth might be that you are still showing up more often than you used to and you can feel progress. ## **Choosing Truths Going Forward** I still care about performance. I still train. I still set goals and push myself. Facts do matter. But I am learning not to let them tell my entire story. Sometimes the truth is that slowing down was the win. Sometimes the truth is that sharing the moment mattered more than owning it. And sometimes, the truth is that you succeeded, even if the numbers never say it. ## **Thanks for Reading (and for Sharing)** If you made it this far, thank you for reading. More importantly, thank you for sharing this if it resonated. ### No Kids? No Problem. Why SavePointDad Is Also for Animal and Plant Dads URL: https://savepointdad.com/no-kids-no-problem-why-savepointdad-is-also-for-animal-and-plant-dads/ Last updated: 2026-01-27T21:32:43.000Z SavePointDad is a space for dads who play games while trying to get fit and deal with life’s bullshit. But there’s another layer, one that includes others who do not exactly fit into this. That’s right, I’m talking about plant dads and animal dads. You’re one of us, too. Welcome to the mother fucking team. **The Spirit of SavePointDad** The name SavePointDad came from the idea that we all need pause moments, you know those times in life where we need to stop, breathe, and say: “Okay. This is where I’m at. Let’s keep going.” For most of us here, that involves kids, careers, workouts, and games we finally get to play after everyone is asleep. But honestly? That SavePoint mindset applies to anyone who cares for something else, no matter how many legs, leaves, or roots it has. That house plant in the kitchen? You’ve kept it alive through winter and repotted it when it got root bound. You noticed it was drooping and adjusted the light. That’s care. That’s connection with something else. Guys, I started backyard gardening three years ago and that shit is hard. I bought a few plants at Home Depot and fully expected to grow countless crops and basically never grocery shop again. Ya, that totally didn’t happen. The first year was a complete fail, the second was also trash but by the third year I basically had 10,000 cucumbers and 50,000 zucchinis all from one plant of each. Those things grow like crazy. To me animal and plant care invites stillness into our lives. For dads constantly pulled in a dozen damn directions, that stillness can be rare and very much needed. It gives us space to reflect and to breathe. That’s why I want to take the time to tell you all welcome. **Why Animal Dads Matter Here** Most of us started with pets before kids. Some of us only have pets. And some connect better with animals than people. Trust me, as an introvert I totally get it. Sometimes I prefer animals also. Animal dads have routines and drills that they stick to. There are early mornings. There are messes. There’s the unexpected vet bill that hits just as some other shit breaks and now you have two bills you don’t know how you are going to pay. And just like with kids, animals are full of teachable moments. A dog’s loyalty and joy. The ways dogs require patience and commitment. These are lessons that shape who we are and how we interact with other people. **The Rise of Plant Dads** Let’s talk chlorophyll. I am actually surprised I remember this term. Like honestly, when is the last time any of us have had to say chlorophyll. Having something to care for, something green, growing, and totally silent, is a form of therapy a lot of men didn’t realize they needed. It’s control in a world that often feels chaotic. Gardening, even on a tiny scale, teaches patience. It gives you small, steady progress. And it’s a daily reminder that growth takes time and consistency. **Building Your Own Ecosystem** Part of SavePointDad is recognizing that life is really interconnected, very messy, and worth tending. You’re not just keeping a plant alive; you’re creating a calm corner in your home. You’re not just feeding your dog; you’re building routines and rituals. These small acts build a world that feels lived in, cared for, and yours. You don’t get a lot of recognition for untangling vines or cleaning out the litter box. But here we recognize the little victories. The day your pepper plant finally flowered. The first time your shy rescue dog came to you on its own. These aren’t just moments; they’re milestones in your life. And in a world that usually doesn’t give a shit, SavePointDad says those wins matter. **A Community That Gets It** That’s why SavePointDad isn’t just content, it’s a space for the guy who knows the perfect light level for his cucumbers and the one who keeps his duck’s pond cleaner than his car. Side note, my co-worker has a duck named Pablo. It’s the coolest duck ever and I really want one now. The idea has been vetoed by wife. We’re for all dads in whatever form that may look like. And we’re here for you. We see you. You belong here. This blog has had some great growth and if you know one person who might like this, please forward this blog to them. Fun fact, I actually wrote this back in July 2025 when I first started making this site. I have been meaning to post this for months now. I had an interesting conversation on Instagram that reminded me this one needs to go out. Everybody's journey and life looks different. One more thing! Part of this journey has been meeting new writers and creators. I haven’t done this before but I wanted to share that I’ve been really enjoying the [Campfire Gentleman](https://campfiregentleman.com/?ref=savepointdad.com) newsletter lately. It feels honest, grounded, and covers topics I don’t. I highly recommend you all check it out ### A Question I Didn’t See Coming URL: https://savepointdad.com/a-question-i-didnt-see-coming/ Last updated: 2026-01-20T15:51:47.000Z The other night my wife and I were driving, and it was one of those rare moments where nothing was happening. No music, no kids talking, no urgency. She was staring out the window, day dreaming, when she turned to me and asked a question that stopped me dead ass cold. Something honestly, I don’t think I could prepare for in anyway and something I could not see coming. “So… are dragons, like, real?” I did not answer right away because I did know what to say. I was convinced she had to be fucking with me because the question was so unexpected and so casually asked. What power play was she making? I laughed, assuming this was a setup, and she laughed too, which only reinforced my suspicion. Well played on her part leaving me wondering I thought. Well played. After an awkward silence I broke the news to her that dragons are not real nor have they ever been real. We laughed it off and kept driving. **The Vote That Changed Reality** About a week later, my wife went out to dinner with some close friends of hers. At some point during the night, she brought our dragon drive. Instead of laughing, the group decided it was worth revisiting. What started as a funny story somehow turned into a discussion, and before I knew it, my phone was ringing with a FaceTime call from the entire table. They meant business. During the call, I was informed that a vote was about to take place. A real vote. On whether dragons are fucking real. I was confident that basic fact, science, and logic would step in and save the day. The vote passed. Unanimously. Not a single God Damn dissenting opinion. Just like that, dragons became real. Scientifically. Factually. Without question. What made it worse was that they laughed at me for being confused, as if I was the dumb one for not understanding this newly established truth. Guys, I felt dumb. **When Logic Loses the Popular Vote** I tried to explain that this is not really how facts or science work. Well, I mean, for the most part we live in interesting times. You cannot vote mythical creatures into existence, no matter how confident everyone feels about it. Science, evidence, and reality usually matter in these things. I was immediately dismissed because, according to them, the vote had already happened. The matter was settled. I realized I was outmatched, not intellectually, but socially. Logic had lost to democracy, and democracy was feeling very smug. **They Tracked Me Down!** I assumed that was the end of it. I was wrong. Very wrong. They came over and continued the discussion. There were more arguments about why dragons could absolutely be real if you really think about it. I won’t even lie I began to questions my logic. Like am I the dumb one? Do one of them have a dragon in their backyard or something? Every attempt I made to add reason into the conversation was met with the same response, that the vote already proved everything that needed proving. After a few more drinks they all went home feeling victorious. I sat there still in disbelief and dragonless. **I Mean I Want Dragons to Be Real** To be clear this story is not some secret metaphor. This actually happened. As absurd as this entire experience was, it’s so funny to me. Not because dragons are now apparently real, but because moments like this are exactly what keep marriage and life fun. Marriage is not just about logistics, stress, and responsibility. It is also about laughing at completely ridiculous bullshit together. It is about having stories that make absolutely no sense to anyone else. It is about realizing that the person you married has a brain that occasionally takes routes through nonsense, and choosing to enjoy that instead of fighting it. That person is always me so its nice to not be that person for once. This whole thing also reminded me how important it is to have friends you can be completely unfiltered and dumb with. Friends who will take a random, terrible logic and turn it into a full-blown event. Friends who are willing to commit fully, even when it makes no sense. Life is heavy enough as it is. Having people who can temporarily throw logic out the window just to laugh together is not childish. It is necessary. I am really reaching here because now I am second guessing if they think it’s a joke. I mean don’t get me wrong I wish dragons were real, I really do. It would be so dope but nonetheless that’s not the reality we live in … or used to live in I guess. **Why Arguing Like This Is Actually Healthy** There is something underrated about having people you can debate with without any real stakes. Not fights, but fun disagreements where no one is trying to win anything meaningful. The argument itself becomes the entertainment, not the outcome. I mean who hasn’t argued about best superhero, best dinosaur, best show, that shit matters. For the record, Batman, Velociraptor, and Breaking Bad. Those are the only right answers. Side note, Velociraptor is seriously the hardest word to spell ever. It took me like 10 tries for me to get close enough for Spellcheck to correct it. There is no big lesson here. No moral wrapped up neatly at the end like I usually try. Well maybe the only lesson is Dragons are now real. That’s pretty cool I guess. I mean honestly, I would rather live in a world that has dragons than one that doesn’t. **One Last Question** If your spouse has ever hit you with a completely unhinged thought that left you speechless, I want to hear about it. Those moments need to be shared. And if you enjoy stories like this, the kind that remind you not to take life too seriously, share this blog and subscribe. Sometimes the best moments and laughs in life start with a question that should never have been asked in the first place. I mean seriously who even asks that. ### There’s Never Enough Time URL: https://savepointdad.com/theres-never-enough-time/ Last updated: 2026-01-14T00:52:20.000Z **The Story of Later** I don’t know any parent or person really who feels like they have enough time. Not one. Every adult conversation eventually gets there, no matter how it starts. We are busy, tired, behind on things, and usually all three at once. Even on good days, there is a weird pressure in the background, reminding us that some bullshit probably needs attention. I think part of the problem is the story we keep telling ourselves about later. Later, our jobs will calm down and stop demanding so much from us. Later, the kids will be older, easier, and more independent. Later, fitness will finally click and we can basically take it easy instead of constantly pushing. We treat later like some damn hidden level we just have to find and unlock. It’s like we are convinced that once we get there, life will finally run smoothly, the way we think it’s supposed to. But here’s the annoying ass truth I keep thinking. Even if all of that happens, I do not think we suddenly feel like we have enough time. The pressure shifts maybe, but never really disappears. **It Gets Easier . . . JK** We love the idea of a smooth and easy life. That’s not a bad thing, who doesn’t want an easy life. A stretch where the kids sleep in, work is predictable, the house stays clean for more than twelve minutes, and our knees feel great. Okay, I don’t have knee problems but I always hear people complaining about them so I figured I would throw that in. Random side note, I pulled my back for the first time ever last year. That shit hurt. I always thought people were being dramatic about it when they said it. Okay, honestly it wasn’t that bad. I still think people are a bit dramatic about it. Parenting and life do not have a final level or boss. Every time you think you are approaching one, it throws a new problem you did not think to prepare for. Just when you think you have the hang of everything, Surprise MF, the difficulty goes up. When kids are little, the time pressure is physical. They need you constantly and are very loud about it. You can’t step away for long, and everything you need to do takes twice as long as it should. Lol twice? More like three times as long as it should. When they get older, the pressure becomes mental and emotional. You worry more. You replay conversations with them. You wonder if you handled something the right way and what part of your reaction will they copy with other people. **Breaking Bad Ended 12 Years Ago** What’s hitting me more now is that time passes whether we notice it or not. I mean I have always known this, but I am really feeling it now. One day you look up and realize years slipped by and it all felt like a blur of Zoom meetings, emails, lunches, practices, workouts, and unfinished to-do lists. The days blended together while you were doing your best to keep everything moving. Like isn’t it crazy AF 2020 was six years ago, like legit half a decade ago. I still can remember what I was doing and what games I was playing at that time. It’s weird though because I do not remember specific dates. I do remember phases I guess I would call it. I remember what stressed me out and what grounded me. The details fade but emotion and thoughts don’t. That is when the thought sneaks up on you. Fuck. Where did it all go? Not in a dramatic ass way, but in a quiet one which is even more scary. I know you have felt it when you see an old photo, hear your kid say something that suddenly sounds grown, or realize a show you love ended 12 years ago. I am thinking of Breaking Bad. That is fucking crazy, 12 years ago. **Free Time Feels Uncomfortable** So, looking at this makes how we handle free time even weirder. On the rare occasions when we do have time, it does not always feel good. Sometimes we feel bored, like we are wasting it. Sometimes restless, like we should be doing something productive instead of sitting still. Or anxious, already thinking about tomorrow before today is even over. It’s actually really annoying like damn can’t I just enjoy this free time. We finally get a free afternoon with no plans and spend half of it scrolling, pacing, or mentally preparing for the next day’s bullshit. The time is there, but we do not know what to do with it. It is like we have trained our bodies to live in urgency mode. When the pressure lifts, we do not automatically relax because we probably can’t anymore. Slowing down can feel uncomfortable when urgency has been your default for years. **This Is the Game** Parenting is hard because the timer never stops. There is no pause menu, no rewind, no save and come back later. You are always playing, even when you are exhausted, distracted, or frankly just don’t want to. We have all felt this way. That is why the idea that “someday things will slow down” feels even more scary. Not because it is completely bullshit, but because it keeps our eyes locked on a future that never really comes. Lately, I have been thinking if the goal is not to have more time. I hope I word this right but maybe the goal is to stop treating our time like we are waiting for the real game to begin. This is not a warm-up round. This is not filler meant to be rushed through. This is the game. Even when it feels repetitive, chaotic, and kind of bullshitty at times. **Thanks for Being Here** Thank you for making it this far. Thank you for carving out time you probably felt like you did not have. Thank you for choosing to slow down for a few minutes. I know this blog was a little more abstract and spacey than I usually put out. If you liked it, [Why I Ask So Many Open‑Ended Questions](https://savepointdad.com/why-i-ask-so-many-open-ended-questions-and-why-its-on-purpose/) has a similar feel. And if you have subscribed, I am genuinely glad you are here. I enjoy this a lot and I really look forward to when you all reach out to me to discuss these blogs. You all are dope AF. ### Setting the Right Expectations URL: https://savepointdad.com/setting-the-right-expectations/ Last updated: 2026-01-06T17:54:50.000Z I am not a New Year’s Resolution person. I never have been and have always gotten slightly annoyed when people ask me what my New Year’s Resolution is. Resolutions just feel so performative to me, like a promise made because motivation is high for a few days but then goes away just as quickly. Usually by February, most of them turn into jokes or even worse a deep guilt for people. So no, this is not a New Years Resolution, but it is a goal, and it is one that feels needed. No major change ever happens overnight. Meaningful changes take time, effort, and a few mistakes along the way. That's why I see this as a goal, rather than a resolution, where the clock strikes midnight I am a brand new person. My goal is to really understand and know whether what I expect is actually helping my kids grow, or just making things harder for them. ## **Why Kids Should Never Feel Hard to Love** My goal is to set the right expectations for my kids. Let’s be clear, I am not saying I want to lower expectations, and I sure as hell ain’t saying to have no expectations. I just want expectations that are clear, fair, and reachable for where my kids actually are right now. Not where I think they should be compared to others or even just compared to what I want from them. I don’t know if I worded that right? I took two weeks off from this and this feels harder now. Weird. I have to admit, sometimes when I get upset with my little ones they genuinely look confused why they are in trouble. I am sure you all have sensed that before, you are upset about something they did that clearly was a bad idea. The kids on the other hand clearly did not know they would get into trouble and are genuinely surprised. To me expectations for my kids should feel like something we are working towards together, not some silent test they do not know they are taking. Again, I am sure you have felt that odd feeling before like “Am I being tested right now?” It never feels good. Expectations should help kids grow, not make them question themselves. When someone misses expectations over and over, they take that in. The absolute last thing I want is for my kids to feel like they are hard to love. I never want them to feel like love is based on their behavior or only shows up when they get everything right. I do not want them to feel like they are constantly missing something they cannot see or even understand. I feel like that is what shows up later as self-doubt, people pleasing, or even the belief that you have to earn your place in relationships. Can you imagine being a kid and having these crazy ass deep feelings but not knowing how to say them? I mean honestly, I feel like most adults still deal with this. ## **When Kids Feel Like They Cannot Win** Nobody likes to feel like they cannot win. As adults, we get defensive and basically eventually stop giving a shit. For kids, I can see the frustration, anxiety, or them shutting down entirely. We have all been there, it’s frustrating as fuck. Motivation can be hard to build but can fade fast as hell. This is not a discipline issue. It is not a willpower problem. Kids need to experience success to want to keep going. Without wins, even the most motivated kid will eventually stop giving a shit. I have started noticing sometimes my expectations do not land the way I meant. In my head, I think I am encouraging growth and confidence, but what my kids might actually be feeling is pressure or even anxiety. Sometimes I expect them to understand something but then realize I have never clearly explained it. Other times I expect emotional/impulse control or maturity that simply is not fair for their age. Fuck, at times it is not even fair for adults including myself. ## **SavePoints** This is where the idea of SavePoints keeps coming back to me. In video games, SavePoints are there so progress is not lost every time you make a dumbass mistake. You lock in progress, learn from failure, and try again without starting everything over again. Kids need these SavePoints too. They need to know their effort counts even if the end result is not perfect or even if they made a few mistakes along the way. They need to know that one bullshit day does not erase a week of good ones. SavePoints tell kids they are still moving forward and are still loved, even when things get messy. Hell, especially when things get messy. Sometimes I worry that to my kids, they may feel that my love needs to be earned or like is conditional in a way. It’s scary how easy it is to love your kids deeply and still create an environment where they feel like they are constantly failing. My kids notice every single sigh, pause, and the tone of my voice. Even when I try to hide it, they know. ## **This Pattern Shows Up a Lot** Like most of my blogs, I start writing about my kids then start looking outward. This situation can easily show up in marriages, where unspoken expectations turn into frustration. It shows up at work, we assume colleagues know what we want without fully explaining it in a way that they understand. This is not about lowering standards for people. Relationships do not thrive on pressure alone, especially the “never good enough” feeling. To me, they thrive on clarity, trust, and shared understanding of life's bullshit. I have always set the bar high for those around me. I expect effort, I know I do. I have always justified this by telling myself that because I hold myself to the same standards it's fair to expect just as much from others. Adding to this, I know others hold me to these same high standards so shouldn’t I do the same of them? This year (all 6 days of it lol) I am questioning whether that logic is always fair. Just because I can carry a certain level of expectation does not mean everyone else can or should. Again, I don’t think expectations are always bad but I know capacity is not universal. What I think is reasonable expectation to me might feel like constant pressure to someone else. What I think is motivation can easily turn to resentment. ## **What I Am Trying to Do Differently** With my kids, I want expectations to feel like a shared plan instead of a test. We are a team and they should always feel that. I want them to know what the win looks like before they try, not after they miss it and I’m upset. This is uncomfortable for me. It means slowing down when my natural energy is to push. It means explaining a few times instead of assuming. It means looking at things I have done for a long time and admitting that some of them may not be helping the people I love. As I have grown older and wiser, (I am 40 now. Can I say that yet?) I realize discomfort is not a sign that something is wrong. Sometimes it is a sign that something is finally changing. Believe fucking me, I am not saying I enjoy it but I am saying discomfort is needed at times. ## **2026** Thank you for reading. Thank you for subscribing. And thank you for being part of this. I have posted weekly blogs for the past six months so I wanted to circle back to some older ones you may have missed. If this post landed, check out this one which goes deeper into the same concept but from a different angle. [Kids Don’t Tune Into Lectures. They Stream Replays.](https://savepointdad.com/kids-dont-tune-into-lectures-they-stream-replays/) ### That Christmas Level You Can’t Unlock Again URL: https://savepointdad.com/that-christmas-level-you-cant-unlock-again/ Last updated: 2025-12-23T14:44:45.000Z As my kids have gotten a little older, I always have this fear that Christmas will not be the same for them like it was for me. I think most of us feel that way. Not because they will not get enough gifts or because the house will not be decorated, but because the feeling will be different. I would describe it as anticipation or maybe even slowness. As kids we had this sense that something special was coming and that it mattered. **What Made Christmas Feel Different as a Kid** When I slow down and really think about it, I know obviously it was not about the gifts. The memories that stick with me are small, quiet, and more of a feeling than an actual memory. Laying under the Christmas tree just staring at the lights. Waking up before everyone else because sleep was impossible. Those mornings felt so calm, and recognizing that as a kid really says something. I mean let’s be honest the presents obviously mattered, of course, but they were not the only reason the day felt special. The feeling lived in everything surrounding them. The waiting. The buildup. The gifts were just one part of something bigger. **Christmas Felt Bigger Because Life Was Smaller** Christmas felt bigger when I was a kid, and for a long time I thought that meant it was better. Now I think it just felt bigger because life was smaller. If you really think about it in many ways the whole world was smaller and less connected. As kids, we obviously had fewer responsibilities, less bullshit to deal with, and fewer things competing for our attention. That simplicity created space. There were not endless options for entertainment or noise pulling us in every direction. Even right now as I write this, I am playing Marvel Snap on my phone and I have a show on in the background. When you have fewer choices, you dive deeper into what is in front of you because it’s your only option. Our imagination had to fill the gaps. Christmas had room to grow because there was not much else crowding it out. We were waiting for that one new thing we had been wanting all year. **Kids are Not Bored Anymore** When I look at my kids, I see that they really do not experience boredom for too long. They have so many options that the second they are bored they move on to the next thing. That’s why TikTok became so popular so fast, it gives you quick bite sized videos that do not overstay their welcome. Boredom played a bigger role in our childhoods than I realized. We waited. We wondered. We sat with quiet moments instead of immediately filling them. When there was nothing to do, our minds did the work. We made up stories, games, and random shit up all the time. That boredom did not ruin the magic. Looking back, I think some of the excitement came from not being always entertained. **We Did Not Document Everything** We also did not document and save every thought we had. Okay, I am going to be honest here, I debated even putting this in because I bet you are all thinking “You dumbass, you are literally doing this right now.” Honestly, I don’t have a rebuttal so let’s move on lol. Some of my favorite childhood memories have no pictures. There was no pressure to capture the perfect angle. The moments existed whether or not they were recorded. Those memories live with so much detail in my mind, even without proof. I can remember certain things like literally down to the weather and smell. I can’t help but think if they stayed with me because they were never interrupted. They were allowed to exist, without being filtered, shared, or paused for the perfect shot. There was also no rush. Christmas mornings felt long, not because they actually were because nothing was pulling us away from them. There were no emails we wanted to check, mobile games (I am still playing Marvel Snap while writing this), or social media. We were all just present. We lingered a lot more because we were not in such a damn rush all the time. **You Activated a Trap Card** Look I get it, we want that for our kids. I hear friends and coworkers say all the time that they want their kids to feel how they did during Christmas. It’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking the old way was better. Nostalgia has a way of smoothing rough edges and leaving only the nice parts behind. But better is not the right word always, now I would say it was different. I do think it’s very unfortunate that the word different has such a negative connotation to it, that people automatically think it’s bad. We are all going to grow up in a world shaped by new norms, new music, and new realities. Our kids are not missing out on our childhood. They are experiencing a version of it that reflects the world they live in. Comparing their experience to ours is not fair to them, they may not even want it. If anything, it only makes us more anxious and just another thing that we are trying to keep up with. **What Are We Really Trying to Recreate?** This is the question that keeps coming back to me. What am I actually trying to recreate? Is it Christmas itself, or is it the feeling of being young? The truth may be uncomfortable. I think a majority of people may not miss the holidays most. They miss the absence of responsibility and the feeling of being carefree. The feeling that someone else was carrying the weight of the world and all the bullshit for us. Honestly, I do not even know where I fall in that spectrum. Who knows, maybe it changes day to day. **A New Kind of Christmas Magic** Christmas can still be incredible without looking the way it used to. It just needs intention. Time that is protected from constant rushing. A few traditions that repeat every year, excluding matching Christmas pajamas that are worn all day. That needs to stop. I am learning that part of parenting is letting go of the need to perfectly recreate your own past. I mean I still want my kids to enjoy certain parts of my childhood. But holding on too tightly can actually get in the way. When we chase an old feeling, we risk missing the one happening right in front of us. Trusting that something new can be just as meaningful takes effort. It takes patience instead of comparison. As I sit here, I can’t help but wonder what Christmas will look like for my kids’ kids. What things that we see as new and disruptive will be the norm for them and I can’t even begin to imagine what things will be new and disruptive for them. I hope that makes sense? **Public Service Announcement** Also, my birthday is a few days after Christmas. Public service announcement for anyone who loves someone in this situation: we get two gifts. Not one “this is for your birthday and Christmas” combo present. That is not how life or calendars work. **Thank You** If you have these same fears and worries, thank you. Thank you for caring enough to even question it. Thank you for wanting your kids to feel joy the holidays in this unnecessarily complicated world. Merry Christmas! ### Early in Your Own Story URL: https://savepointdad.com/early-in-your-own-story/ Last updated: 2025-12-16T15:52:44.000Z I was talking to my boss during our regularly scheduled check-in and he made a comment that really stuck with me. He told me I do good solid work. Work that people trust. Then he paused, he said he notices that I work and move like I am always trying to catch up. I did not think much of it while there but during my commute home when I do most of my deep pointless thinking the comment kept replaying in my head. Not because it was wrong, but because it actually made a lot of sense. I have felt that sense of urgency for as long as I can remember. The sense that I am a step behind. I do not even think I realized I was doing it. It just felt normal, like breathing. A constant low-level pressure to keep moving, to not slow down, to not waste time, to quietly prove that I belong where I am. **The invisible clock** I think a lot of us are running or even competing against an invisible clock. You hear it in casual conversations. Someone mentions graduating college at 21\. Another talks about their first real job at 23\. Someone else brings up an internship overseas at 20 or traveling the world after college. Let me be clear I do not see this as bragging; they are sharing their life experiences and accomplishments. They are just telling their story. But after a while, those “standard” timelines start to feel like rules. Like there is a correct order, a right pace, a normal path. And if you did not follow it, you are late and will always be trying to catch up. I did not finish college until I was 29\. I got my master’s degree at 32\. By the time I walked across that stage with my masters, some people were already a decade into their career. I was still working retail. Some were managing teams. I just landed my first office job, and it sucked so bad lol. I used to make phone calls all day and they had teams of people whose job was to monitor those calls. Basically, a lot of the people who got their Master’s wanted it for a promotion to a higher management level or some got it just for fun. My cohort had 12 people in it. Two were literally practicing medical doctors and 3 already had a PhD. I, on the other hand, had just become the top undefeated Mortal Kombat player in my neighborhood. Random thought, I used to always dread the icebreaker question “What was your favorite country you ever visited?”. I used to always make shit up because I didn’t want to respond, “Growing up we did not really travel to other countries, because …. we were poor.” It's like I had started late in life compared to everyone else. It’s not that they had it easier or perks, I just took a longer path to get to the race. It is easy to internalize that as failure. I sure as hell did. **“A delayed game is eventually good, but a rushed game is forever bad.” – Shigeru Miyamoto** In retrospect, starting later was not a weakness. It was a different kind of education and brings a whole new perspective people are not necessarily used to. They definitely want to hear it though. Starting later gave me a work ethic that does not depend on mood. It gave me perspective. It made me deeply aware that nothing is guaranteed. When you do not take the normal path, you stop assuming things will work out on their own. You stop expecting doors to open just because you think you deserve it. Honestly, you probably do deserve it but that’s life. You push. You prepare. You pay attention. A lot of my work and life is just looking at situations and preparing for what I think is the most likely outcome or reaction people will have. Honestly, I have become pretty good at it because I stood on the sidelines so long. When opportunities finally come, you do not waste them. I do not take my work for granted, not because I am afraid, but because I remember what it felt like to want stability and not have it. **“Stand in the ashes of a trillion dead souls and ask the ghosts if honor matters. The silence is your answer.” – Javik, Mass Effect 3.** I have talked about Mass Effect several times. I have to pause and explain this for a bit. Javik is discussing the idea of honor with his team after witnessing the total extinction of his people. Like literally, his people got their shit wrecked. Having lived through a galaxy-wide genocide, he doesn’t waste time with pleasantries or getting stuck on the small bullshit things that nobody actually cares about. When you feel behind, you stop sweating the small stuff. You do not get caught up in performative bullshit. You focus on what actually matters: results, impact, follow-through. My work, and particularly my role, focuses on helping people. I have very little patience for fake urgency or manufactured debates. I struggle to care about arguments that exist only because people need something to argue about or need to feel “included”. Like obsessing over terminology or political correctness while entirely missing the point. Or pretending cultural battles matter more than actual human needs. People are starving. Families are struggling. Systems are broken. And we are arguing if we used the correct phrasing. I promise you the people who are really affected, who are struggling to eat, do not give a fuck if you said homeless instead of unhoused. If you do not know why this even matters, I envy you. When you have spent time feeling behind, you learn to zoom out. You learn to ask whether something actually helps anyone. If the answer is no, you move on. **There is always a shitty side** Here is the shitty side of this. When you are always trying to catch up, you rarely feel caught up, even when things are actually good. Even when the résumé looks solid. Even when people tell you that you are doing well. The finish line keeps moving further away. You hit a milestone and immediately look for the next one. You accomplish something and quietly wonder why it did not feel better when everyone is clapping for you. You keep thinking that once you get there, you will relax. But where exactly is there? I hope that makes sense. I honestly do not know. I still feel it, that sense that I should be doing more, moving faster, proving something. **“You’re not behind. You’re just early in your own story.” – Ted Lasso** As I began writing this, I started to see how young this mindset begins. My daughter already knows who is faster than her, who reads better than her, and who dances better than her. She can list them without hesitation. When I ask her who she is better than, she freezes. Blank stare and stays quiet. That breaks my heart, because I recognize it. That comparison loop starts early and is strong. It becomes the background noise of your life. Always measuring. Always ranking. Always chasing. My job is not to convince her she is better than anyone else. My job is to make sure she knows she does not need to be. I want her to know struggle is okay. It’s not fun by any means but it’s needed and is a part of life. **You are not late** If you feel like you are catching up, you don’t need to. You are not late. You are not failing. You are living a different story. That story may push you harder than others. It may make you work when you do not feel like it. It will keep you grounded when things get noisy. That is not a flaw. That is fuel. To me, the work is learning when to ease off the gas. Learning that progress does not announce itself. There will be countless smaller accomplishments that are never acknowledged. Hell, most won’t even be noticed but they are real and they count. Sometimes you already arrived and do not notice. I still struggle with that. I probably always will. Although catching up was my original goal it seems to have shifted. My goal is now becoming someone who does not quit, someone who sees through the noise, someone who shows their kids that worth is not measured against other people’s timelines. If you are still chasing, you are not alone, trust me. And if you are wondering when you finally catch up, you might already be closer than you think. **Thank you** If you made it this far, thank you for reading. Really. If this hit something in you, sit with it for a minute. Then maybe share it with someone who feels like they are always a step behind. We are probably running the same race, just on different paths. ### 5,000 Followers URL: https://savepointdad.com/5-000-followers/ Last updated: 2025-12-09T14:54:18.000Z I recently hit 5,000 followers on Instagram which is crazy AF. 5,000 people saw my page and took the time to hit follow. It honestly blows my mind. I started this because anyone who knows me knows I love talking (probably too much) and I wanted to finally make a small space on the internet mine. It’s actually surprising to me that given how nerdy I am I never had built a website before. When I started SavePointDad.com, I thought only a few people would ever care about the small moments I share. I figured I might reach other dads, gamers, and maybe a handful of runners who also complain about early morning workouts. But then people started commenting and sharing in ways I did not expect. They read the blog. They commented with their own. They laughed at the same dumb shit that makes me laugh. And they made this page feel less like a vault and more like a living room where everyone drops by randomly. I don’t think that actually happens anymore, but it did when I was a kid, and it was fun as hell. Once you see that people connect with the stuff you put out there, you start opening up more. You start telling the truth instead of polishing everything. You stop worrying about perfect posts because you realize people respond to the messy ones too, they actually respond more to them. Honesty pulls people in more than faking some perfect ass life that we are all used to seeing on social media. It feels strange but also comforting. **Friends** To me the craziest part of this whole thing is how natural the community building felt. I did not sit down with a strategy guide or a plan. I just posted what was on my mind and talked with literally anyone who took the time to comment or email me. I still do. Then over time those small conversations turned into actual friendships. I know it sounds odd to call people on Instagram “friends,” but a lot of you feel like that now. We have the same hobbies, watch the same shows, and are tired of the same bullshit. And that is something I did not see coming. There are people I talk to almost every day. People I check in on and people that check in on me. People who send messages that feel more personal than anything my own friends would say. I did not expect the back-and-forth to matter so much, yet here I am treating people behind tiny profile photos like close friends. And what makes it even better is how supportive everyone is. When you like someone's post, you are saying, “I see you.” When you comment, you are saying, “You are not posting into a void.” **The Bullshit Algorithm** Now let me tell you about the part that drives every creator a little crazy. Omg, I never once thought I would refer to my dumbass as a creator. I am rolling my eyes for you guys. The Instagram algorithm is unpredictable. One day it feels like your biggest fan. The next day it feels like it stuffed your post into the closet and is embarrassed to be seen with you. I know I have 5,000 followers, but on average my posts only reach between 700 and 1,300 people. You would think that number would be bigger. It makes you wonder why you try so hard to gain followers when only a small percentage even see your posts. The most irritating part is that you can follow every rule and trick and still get shutdown by the algorithm. You can post at the right time, use the perfect tags, and spend real effort on editing. And then Instagram shrugs and says, “Nah.” So, I focus on what I can control. I can control actually responding to people. I can control supporting my Instagram friends. I can control the stories I tell. If the algorithm decides to cooperate, dope. If not, at least the people who do see my posts see something real. **I Wish I Had Liked My Friends’ Content More in the Past** I wish more people understood the simple act of supporting your friends who create content can make or break their momentum. A like seems small. A comment seems quick.. But to the person on the other side of that screen, it can feel like a real push forward. It feels like someone reached over and said, “Keep going, MF.” Also, sharing or sending a post through direct message is the best way to help. Thanks lol. You sit with your thoughts and assume they land with someone. So, when people support your shit, it is as if someone can relate or understands. That support builds confidence. It makes you want to post again. I try to support as many people as I can because I know how much it helps me. If a creator posts something, I want them to know that it reached someone. Too many people quit because they think nobody gives a shit. A lot of the people who started accounts at the same time I did are gone already. What is shitty is they had awesome content, it was sure as hell better than mine. So, if you see a friend trying, even a little, give them that like. Give them that boost. It goes further than you think. "Praise and encouragement are not finite resources." My boss told me this once and it has really stuck with me. **Spammy** This is something I still struggle with. I want people to read the blog because it is where I go deeper. It’s my part of the internet and not slave to the algorithm. But I also do not want to annoy people by pushing the blog everywhere. There is a fine line between letting people know something exists and spamming them until they block you. I want people to know SavePointDad.com is a thing, but I do not want to annoy them. Instagram makes it trickier because sending too many DMs or posting too aggressively can flag your account as spam. So now I mention the blog gently. I let people discover it at their own pace. And honestly, the right people always find it. The ones who want deeper connections drift there naturally. The ones who prefer Instagram stay there. **Creators Come and Go** Creators disappear all the time. I would say more than half the people who started around the same time as me are gone now. Some deleted their pages. Some walked away quietly. Some still exist, but they post like once a month. I’ll admit thinking of consistent content is hard AF. It takes time. It takes energy. It takes vulnerability. And if you do not get enough support, the effort starts feeling heavy and even stupid. One bad week turns into a bad month. And before you know it, you fade out. I get it. I have thought about stopping more than once. But then I get a message from someone saying, “Hey man, I just need you to know your blog connects with me,” and suddenly I'm all good again. Those messages feel like gold. They remind me why I started. They remind me that connection matters more than the bullshit analytics. I realized I am glad I started this with no expectations and had no idea wtf I was doing. It keeps my voice different. I am a dad who works, runs, plays games, hates salad, and writes about the parts of life that feel familiar. That is my lane. That is my voice. It is a strange kind of freedom. **“I can do this all day.” - Cap** After all of this, I can say something I am just grateful. I have people who care about what I have to say and take time out of their busy ass days to read this. I know I am still learning. I am still figuring out how to write honestly without overthinking. I overthink the simplest shit. Like even now, I am thinking did I add to many “bad” words? Do I need to remove them? Fuck it, I don’t care. I am still balancing fatherhood, fitness, and a life online and offline. I still hit Infinite rank on Marvel Snap every season in 2-3 days. I am still adjusting to the weirdness of people connecting with things I share especially given the fact that we have never met. I want to keep building a space where people feel like they belong. A space where you all simply say, “Yeah, I get that”. **Thank You 3,000** So, like always, thank you. Thank you for being here. Thank you for reading these long meandering posts and sending your own stories. Thank you for liking the posts and telling me when something hits home. Thanks for just being here on SavePointDad.com. Thank you for being part of this. Let’s start working on 10,000 followers next. ### The Little Girl She Is Today That I’ll Miss Tomorrow URL: https://savepointdad.com/the-little-girl-she-is-today-that-ill-miss-tomorrow/ Last updated: 2025-12-02T16:05:17.000Z This is one of those blogs that I sat down with one idea. Changed it to another midway through. Then I decided not to use it at all because I heard my daughter singing while she sat next to me as she colored. It made me happy but at the same time sad because I know these moments won’t be here forever. I put the original blog I wrote in my draft folder along with about seven others I have written, but decided not to send out (yet). **“Time Out!” – Zack Morris** There are moments in parenting that really stick with you, those ones that you reminisce on from time to time randomly. You're just getting through the morning bullshit and your kid does something so small but just very “her” or "him". These moments always feel like little reminders that time goes by too damn fast. I think these last few years that old saying, "The days are long but the years are fast" has been proving itself true in the most real ways. I find myself holding on to these tiny moments more and more. They happen during the most ordinary parts of my day, and yet they end up being the things I think about the most. It’s like time tells me, “Hey. Don’t miss this part.” **“Time In!” – Zack Morris** Out of everything, the way she calls me Dada is the thing that hits the deepest. She says it with this lightness and trust in her voice. It has this innocence to it that I love and just feel good about. I see her growing so fast, doing more and more on her own, but the way she calls me is a link to her being so tiny. That word reminds me that I’m her anchor. Her safe place. And there’s something sacred about that. I know one day it will shift to “Dad” but right now, I’m “Dada”. And that’s a version of fatherhood I never want to lose. Okay, honestly, I can't lie. It can drive me nuts at times. Given that it’s just two syllables and rolls off the tongue, when she wants something, she machine guns it “DADADADADADADADA”. She does it so fast at times I can’t even think. **Stadium Tour** She treats the house like it’s her personal stadium tour. She walks from room to room singing whatever her brain is processing in real time, and she doesn’t even check to see if anyone is listening. I love that. That freedom. That confidence. That complete lack of self-consciousness that adults forget they ever had. She sings like the world is kind and doesn’t judge. She can turn anything into a song and honestly I find that very impressive. This five minute blog can take me a few hours of deep thought while she can develop a whole song and chorus while she brushes her teeth. I’ll be in the middle of something and suddenly I hear her humming behind me. She isn’t trying to impress anyone. She isn’t performing. She’s just happy. And watching her float through the hallway in mismatched clothes and messy hair, creating her own soundtrack, reminds me that joy doesn’t need an audience. It just needs space to exist. Yes, I get annoyed at times and wish the house didn’t have to be so damn loud but at the same time I know this is the only time in her life she’ll have to do this. I can't take that away. **True Laughter** Her real laugh, the one she cannot control, is something that makes me smile just thinking about. It happened most recently in a photo booth where my friends and I asked her to pick the filter because she was the only one who could reach. There were about 5 of us packed in there. We assumed she would pick a normal filter but instead picked a monster filter that made us all look terrible. She thought it was the funniest thing ever and could not stop laughing. That sound is pure childhood. It’s joy, the kind adults feel sometimes but then quickly bottle it in. I catch myself watching her in those moments, thinking this is what happy looks like before life happens. It’s kind of sad. **How do we know when dogs bark, they aren’t saying bad words?** Her questions come out of nowhere and hit me with both parts wonder and confusion. · Who decides what is good and what is bad? She suggested she should make that call moving forward. · Why can’t I remember being a baby? I really didn’t know how to answer this one. · What’s the highest number I can count to in one day? I took a wild guess and said 575,000. · Can any animal beat up a bear? Since she asked me this, I have thought about it a lot and imagined different fights. Again, sometimes I get annoyed but then I remember I was the same. I always had questions and was genuinely curious. The world is still brand new to kids. They test every aspect of it, push every button, and try to make sense of all the things adults stopped questioning years ago. It’s their job. **Mismatched Outfits** When she dresses herself and picks some questionable outfits. Polka-dot socks with leopard pants and sandals. A Spider-Man shirt with a heart glitter skirt. In her world, matching is optional and vibe is everything. She knows they don’t match and when I ask her why she is wearing that she simply says because I like this and walks away. That’s actually brave and powerful, she knows what she likes, she knows it’s not the norm, but she sticks with it. At first, I tried to guide her toward cohesive outfits. Then I realized something important, her mismatched outfits are her independence and her creativity. Her way of saying, “I get to decide how I want to be today.” **Why These Moments Matter More Than Milestones** These tiny pieces of her, the songs, the laughs, the questions, the clothes end up being the memories that stay with me. I know she is growing. I know the world is pulling her forward whether I’m ready or not. But these little moments are the ones that slow everything down just enough to remember and to appreciate them while they are still here. And yes, a part of me wishes I could pause time but at the same time I am excited to see what the future holds for her. How will she look, what hobbies will she have, what will she pick as a career, what animal can rock a bear in a fight? The future is exciting but right now is where we are at. **Thank You** You know sometimes I think will my son and daughter ever read these blogs? Will they just say they are cringe and pretend like these don’t exist or will they read through these and understand the things I said and choices I made. Sometimes when I am writing these, I feel like I am speaking to them in the future. It’s scary and humbling. They are the best part of my story and I hope they will always know that. I hope they will always feel that. Thank you, truly, to everyone who reads, follows, and supports my little corner of the internet. Your voice notes, your comments, your shares; they mean more than you know. You make this space real and it blows my mind that people in Australia, England, Mexico, and even my hometown are reading this right now. ### WTF, Holidays are Here Already? URL: https://savepointdad.com/wtf-holidays-are-here-already/ Last updated: 2025-11-26T15:56:30.000Z Thanksgiving always sneaks up on me. I think because I am still adjusting to daylight saving time, and it’s weird to say that as I have gotten older it seems to really affect me more. It really throws me off, I have always been a morning person but these last few weeks I wake up at 5 AM every morning. That’s just unnecessary. The holiday rush comes fast, so I figured I would slow down and actually think about what I am thankful for. I tend to notice the weird little moments in life. The stuff that keeps me grounded and oddly amused. So here are a few things I am thankful for this year that of course are different from the usual. We are not cliché. **The Minutes of Peace Before the Kids Wake Up** Every parent knows that tiny window of calm. It is the part of the morning when the house almost feels like a retreat. You sip your coffee and for a moment you think “I got this.” Then one of your little creations yells “Daaaadda?” from their room and it begins. Still, those few minutes mattered. They remind me that peace exists in small doses and that I can survive another morning of chaos. **Closing the Car Door for One Quiet Second** Another thing I am weirdly thankful for is a very specific moment, closing the car door while the kids are still talking. I know it sounds terrible, and I know it looks questionable on paper or in this case screen, but there is something deeply satisfying about it. You walk to the car and your kid is talking nonstop, you buckle them up and they are talking nonstop. BAM, door is shut mid-sentence. For that one second, the world goes silent. That small moment helps me gather my thoughts again and honestly just laugh. It’s what I imagine hitting pause on life feels like. I love it. **Friends Who Communicate Only in Memes** I am thankful for the friends who do not ask how I am doing but send memes instead. They check in with raccoon videos, ridiculous fails, and pictures of bears doing human shit. We send each other a lot of bear pictures and videos. I once had a job where I had to send out a daily newsletter to all staff. My boss suggested I make it “fun” and add some trivia at the start of it each day. I was able to go about 2 months before anyone noticed every trivia fact I used was about bears. Honestly, it’s one of my favorite workplace accomplishments. At this point I should just say I am thankful for bears. Anyway, these friends understand that sometimes laughter is better than a long conversation. There is something comforting about being understood without having to explain anything. It shows that support can look different for everyone. **Support is Not a Limited Resource** There are the friends who like every post I make even when the algorithm refuses to show it to anyone. You are the real MVPs. They hit like and comment like it is their part-time job. Their support makes this whole SavePointDad thing work. If people do not engage with your content, it is not shown to anybody. I have about 5,000 followers on Instagram but some posts are only shown to about 600 people. It’s crazy how the algorithm works. Now I like every post I see and comment whenever I can. **Health** This year, I am more thankful for my health than ever. My family has been through a tough stretch, the kind that takes a while to heal from. When you watch people you love navigate serious medical challenges or even worse, when there is no longer progress, only comfort, health stops being a holiday cliché and becomes something you appreciate every time you wake up feeling strong enough to run, lift, or chase your kids. I notice my body more now. Hard years never leave quietly. The reality is they bring negative and at times positive changes. The good changes show up right away, but the bad ones hide in the corners until you finally notice them. I think about that a lot. **Good Old Days** I am thankful for this blog because it keeps me in the moment. SavePointDad was supposed to be a fun random thing I did mixing fatherhood, fitness, and gaming bullshit. Somewhere along the way, it turned into something that helps me slow down. Writing these posts forces me to pay attention to the little things I would normally rush past. There is a quote from *The Office* that hits harder the older I get: “I wish there was a way to know you were in the good old days before you left them.” This blog is my attempt to recognize the good days while I am still inside them. **Thank You** Thank you for reading these posts, recommending this page, and for sending me messages, voice chats, and emails. This whole thing works because of people like you who remind me that I am not doing this alone and that you were looking for a space like this. I am thankful for you, and I hope you feel that in whatever way we engage. ### I Mostly Kind of Love Running, But Also Kind of Hate it. URL: https://savepointdad.com/i-mostly-kind-of-love-running-but-also-kind-of-hate-it/ Last updated: 2025-11-18T15:05:50.000Z Let’s start this off with truth. I see so many blogs about how running changed their life, how it made them a better parent, a calmer person, blah blah blah. To be honest, I will probably write one of those too one day lol. But sometimes you need to tell the other side of the story. Because the truth is, for every “running made me better” moment, there are ten “why do I do this shit” moments. Today is about the parts that drag, the parts that annoy me, and the parts you’d never admit to someone who just bought their first pair of running shoes. Today is about what sucks most about running. So I made a list. What's funny, it literally took me about a minute to think of this stuff. I actually had to cut some out because I ain't trying to convince people not to run ever. ## **1\. Time** As you get better at running, everything takes longer. People tell you about half-marathon medals and runner’s highs, but no one says, “Oh ya, your average Sunday run is going to take your entire morning.” Sometimes it feels like a damn part-time job. Right now my typical run is about ninety minutes. Add stretching. Add driving to the field or the track to avoid running on the street. Definitely add the time it takes to talk yourself into leaving the house. Suddenly this “quick run” is a two and half hour commitment. It is crazy how something that once took thirty minutes now feels like I need to plan my days around it. Whenever I leave the house I tell my wife “I am going for a quick run” she then rolls her eyes and mumbles something. I assume she's saying how awesome I am but who knows. Finding that kind of time is hard with kids. Honestly, it is hard without kids. There are days where I look at the clock and think, “I either run or I do literally everything else I’m supposed to do.” The run usually wins because runners are stubborn. But the cost is real. You trade time you do not have for a hobby that keeps demanding more. ## **2\. Fuel** Running makes you hungry AF. I can burn 900 to 1,300 calories on a run. That is an entire day of food for some people. Your body basically begins craving more and more food because it needs it. If you ignore it, you end up grumpy, tired, and eyeing the fridge. So yes, it becomes painfully easy to justify eating whatever TF you want. Pizza? Earned it, duh. Ice cream? Absolutely. Anything fried? I ran for over an hour, it would be wrong if I didn’t eat it. But that justification quickly turns into a rhythm that is hard to break. You start using miles as coupons for bad eating decisions. The idea of eating a salad after a 7 miles run feels like a slap to the face. You burn enough calories to feed a small lion and then people expect you to eat lettuce? Nah. I am hungry and I am not craving lettuce. Nobody craves lettuce. I stand by last week’s blog, salad culture is fake AF. ## **3\. People** I prefer to torture myself alone. When people hear you run, they want to join you. “Oh, we should run together sometime!” No, we should not. I am not trying to turn my personal suffering into a social event. And I’m definitely not trying to talk while I’m gasping for air. And on top of it all I look like shit. Ya, for me running is clearly a by myself activity. Running with another person automatically turns into competition. Even if they say it won’t. Even if you also lie it won’t. Even if you both promise to go slow. It still becomes a silent race. Someone always makes a move. Someone always pushes the pace. Someone always pretends they’re not dying. If you don't agree, that probably means you lost. ## **4\. Sore** I have been running for a long time. You’d think that means I would feel amazing by now. I do not. I have basically been sore the entire time I have been a runner. Even on my “rest days,” something is tight. Runners constantly push for more. Faster. Longer. Harder routes. Higher mileage. A new race. Every time you hit a milestone, you immediately start chasing the next thing. And it never ends. Sometimes I do not want to feel like my legs are about to fall off. ## **5\. Cold** I do not like being cold. Not even a little. Running means you will be outside a lot, and that means you will deal with being cold. And yes, runners love to lie to themselves. They say things like, “You only feel cold for the first ten minutes.” Lies. Absolute lies. I have been cold the entire run. Cold wind. Cold hands. Cold ears. Cold everything. Look I know I live in California and many of you who actually live in cold areas are thinking STFU. All I can say is in California we are very climate sensitive. ## **Truth** Yes, running sucks. Yes, it steals your time, your comfort, your energy, and sometimes your dignity. But for some reason you keep coming back. Maybe it is the tiny moments of clarity you get when you zone out and forget you are a person with responsibilities for fifteen minutes. Whatever it is, runners know the trade. We complain. We whine. We talk about how awful it is. There is something strangely addictive about proving ourselves wrong. Every run feels like a small argument we refuse to lose. Even if we spend half the time complaining, we still show up. We still try again. ## **Thanks for Reading** Thanks for hanging out with me today and letting me rant a little. It feels good to say out loud what most people only whisper to themselves. If you like real takes about running, being anti-salad, fatherhood, half-marathon chaos, and occasional video game nonsense, you will love my blog. Subscribe at **SavePointDad.com** so you never miss a post. It means a lot when people show up for these stories. It keeps me honest. Also, here's a bonus thought related to last week's blog [Thirteen Miles of Random Thoughts](https://savepointdad.com/thirteen-miles-of-random-thoughts/). My wife claims that I am a very loud person especially in the morning when everyone is sleeping. She let me know that I was very loud when I locked the door as I left the house. Allegedly, it woke her up and the kids. Me turning the lock may have caused small seismic activity in the area from the way she describes it. Let's put this into context. Do me a favor and put your hand in the air, move your wrist slightly about 45 degrees, BAM you are in trouble. It's tough being a runner. She's still cool though. ### Thirteen Miles of Random Thoughts URL: https://savepointdad.com/thirteen-miles-of-random-thoughts/ Last updated: 2025-11-11T15:08:58.000Z Sunday I ran (survived) the Monterey Bay Half Marathon. I’ve done a few half marathons, and it’s weird because you would think they are all the same but each one feels so different. The crowd, energy, and obviously scenery make such a difference. This one just felt fresh and open. I told you all I’d write about the random thoughts that pop into my head while running, so here they are. Every single one, straight from the brain of SavePointDad. I broke it down mile by mile because, honestly, that’s how I survive these things. I am sure you have all done that, you know that: I have an hour left or 4 15 minutes left of work. This isn’t a blog about pacing strategies or nutrition hacks. It’s just what went through my head in real time. Also, I almost fell twice trying to power walk and put these in my notepad app. Please appreciate the danger I put myself in for you all. I fall a lot and because I am tall, it sucks even more. You ever fall and while falling have enough time to think to yourself “This is going to hurt” ? ### **Mile 1** I’m super excited. I already feel amazing just knowing I showed up. There’s nothing like that first surge when your legs wake up and your brain says, Yep, we’re really doing this. I always love that sense of accomplishment waiting at the start line, all the training and just the ability to be able to run 13 miles. Let’s Go!!!! ### **Mile 2** It’s cold AF. Leggings don’t do shit for the cold and I start questioning why I didn’t layer better. They are comfortable AF, I can see why girls love to wear them. And no one talks about how fishy the ocean smells here. Not bad fishy, just ocean real. Like salt and seaweed. ### **Mile 3** Friday night I treated myself to pizza, thinking it’d be my pre-race carb loading. I looked forward to that damn pizza all day. But it just didn’t hit. Total disappointment. Still thinking about that let down as I’m running. It feels like I am being petty towards the pizza. ### **Mile 4** Some people have cool nicknames, I wish I had one. I have always wanted one. Maybe I’ll just plant one in my friends’ minds like Inception. Start casually dropping random ideas and see if one sticks. For my friends who are reading this, maybe I am doing this already? One of my best friends used to call me Hermione Granger. I think that may still be my contact name in her phone. ### **Mile 5** The ocean is big AF. That’s it. Have you ever just looked at and thought this shit covers the world? I don’t think we as humans can fathom size at that proportion. It’s a little scary when you think about it. We have only explored 5%-6% percent of it. There's so much we don't know. I don’t like that. ### **Mile 6** God Damn, I’m not even halfway. I realize I’ve been romanticizing this whole running thing. My watch says six miles, my brain says I can call an Uber and nobody will know. It’s embarrassing how I needed to reason with myself not to. I did plan it and where I could rejoin course without anyone noticing. The early confidence fades and the body and brain start negotiating. ### **Mile 7** It’s funny to me that so many people pretend to like salad. No one actually enjoys chewing lettuce. They like the ranch dressing. Basically mayonnaise on leaves. Gross. I spent that mile furthering my argument that salad culture is a scam and people who say they love it are fake AF. ### **Mile 8** I swear I’ve seen this same bird twice, mile three and now mile eight. It must be super annoyed with all the runners. Imagine thinking you are going to have a chill Sunday and a full half marathon runs past your front door. I would be so annoyed. I wonder if I’ve ever eaten two eggs from the same chicken. Or had milk from the same cow. Honestly, I don’t like eggs and only force them down at work breakfast meetings to look like an adult. ### **Mile 9** One of the first times I hung out with my friend I knew we were going to be close. We were hanging out and she was in an online argument with some girl from Brazil who was messaging some guy she was interested in. Watching her react to every message she read and asking me for tips on what to say almost like I was a pettiness coach. It was so fun lol. She still doesn’t like Brazil and that was like 2012\. She says I can’t either. Squad. ### **Mile 11** “Just run this mile three more times,” I tell myself. Somehow that logic makes it worse. I start counting breaths, pretending every exhale is progress. Little mental games keep me moving. I am beating my personal record by about 20 minutes which explains why I feel extra tired. ### **Mile 12** Our babysitter canceled last minute, so my wife stayed home with the kids. She took one for the team. I’m grateful for that, grateful we even get to do this kind of thing together. Now we’ll both have the same amount of medals. I fell on our first half marathon and was unable to complete it so she has had one more metal than me. She sent me a few motivational texts, they helped a lot. ### **Mile 13** Sadly, I died. But I survived! Thank God it’s over. It’s weird how quickly I forget how miserable I felt two miles ago and just soak it all in. Already thinking about our next one in January. Apparently, runners lie a lot. But maybe it’s not lying, maybe it’s hope disguised as stubbornness. ### **Post-Race Thoughts** So yeah, thirteen miles of random thoughts. I realize this blog is a bit shorter than usual and that's because I wrote it all today, usually they take a few days. Also, honestly I am still tired. Thanks for tagging along through my mental maze. If you laughed, nodded, or have ever coached someone through an online argument, subscribe at SavePointDad.com. ### Tiny Teacher, Big Lessons URL: https://savepointdad.com/tiny-teacher-big-lessons/ Last updated: 2025-11-04T15:38:34.000Z I’ve never been a patient person. Not as a kid. Not as an adult. Definitely not as a dad. Patience feels like one of those things that everyone says you should have, but no one really has it. I am convinced we are all pretending (even you). ## **Born in a Hurry** It literally starts at birth. My son came into this world like he had shit to do. My daughter took her sweet time and still does with literally everything. It was fifteen hours of labor, basically a whole cinematic buildup. We had family waiting, birthing plans and preferences, and nurses who came and went. She didn't care, she took her time. It was long but it was calm, for me anyway. My wife may disagree on this. My son? We barely made it to the hospital. I am not exaggerating at all. They had to reroute us to a closer hospital while we were driving. We rolled in and twenty minutes later, this fool was here. My wife wasn’t even hooked up to the monitoring system yet, they took her blood and connected the monitoring system after he was born. A good friend of mine always says God has a sense of humor and this was it. “You need to work on patience? Here’s a kid who’s going to test it.” And God damn, has he. ### **Fire** He’s three now, and he’s got my same restless can't-sit-still fire. When things don’t go his way, he gets upset and he lets you know it. He stomps in the room, raises his voice, and lets you have it. It can be kind of funny at times, but sometimes it reaches a point that we have to step in. And every time I try to talk him down, I catch myself saying, “Chill, dude. It’s not a big deal.” Except to him, it is. He’s only existed for three years. His world is tiny. If his tower of blocks falls, that might actually be the worst thing that’s ever happened to him in his life. He doesn’t have a long list of tragedies and triumphs to compare it to yet. Given that fact, it's true the smallest things are quite literally the worst thing to have ever happened to him in his life. So yeah, it is a big deal. To him. So now I gotta teach him patience when I know I don’t have it. That sucks lol. When things don’t go as I planned, I get it and know exactly how he feels. The difference is, I just disguise it better. I don’t throw blocks or stop my feet, I just get quiet, irritated, impatient. I rush through moments trying to get to the next one, thinking that’ll somehow fix it. ### **Control** I used to think patience meant just sitting there and waiting, it felt like punishment. But the older I get, the more I see it’s an active choice. It’s taking a breath before responding. It’s letting your kid cry for a second before swooping in. It’s reminding yourself that the meltdown at bedtime is more about them not having control over their lives, than bedtime itself. And honestly, that’s a skill most adults still struggle with. I’ve met CEOs, teachers, leaders, people who seem composed on the outside, but they’re just as reactive underneath. “I don’t let people tell me what to do” “I will say what’s on my mind no matter how the other person reacts” These are the exact same reactions we are trying to teach our kids not to have. ### **Monkey See, Monkey Do** When I put myself in his shoes, I see how confusing the world is. Everything’s new. Every boundary feels like a personal attack. Imagine someone twice your size telling you no every time you’re kind of curious about something. You’d be frustrated AF also. I go back to this a lot because it's true and it's a reminder to myself. Kids copy what they see. If I lose my cool, he learns that’s what you do when life doesn’t cooperate. But if I breathe through it, maybe he’ll pick that up instead. We have actually been working on this, I was so proud when he was getting angry and I heard him stop and take deep breaths. And that’s where the real work comes in. Because patience with kids isn’t about controlling them, it’s about controlling yourself. It’s not natural, for me anyway. It’s not easy. Frankly, it's annoying. One breath. One pause. One “Hey buddy, I get it” instead of “Stop crying.” ## **There is Now a Level Zero** ^^^^^I hope you all know where this is from. I wish I could say I’ve mastered this. I wish I could say I mastered a lot of the skills I write about. Nope. I still lose my patience. I still raise my voice. I still feel like I’m failing some days. But I guess learning patience isn’t about never losing it, it’s about finding it quicker each time? We’re both figuring it out. He’s learning how to be a person. I’m learning how to guide one without losing my shit lol. ### **Blunt Force Trauma** Some days you’ll nail parenting. Some days it’ll be pure blunt force trauma and you’ll get hit with back-to-back tantrums before your first cup of coffee. That’s fine. You’re both still in the game. You’re both still learning life. So please try to remind yourself that every hard moment with your kid is a chance to show them grace. Even when you don’t want to, hell, especially when you don’t want to. So next time my son loses it over something small, I’ll try to remember: this fool started life in a hurry, just like his dad. Maybe we were both put here to teach each other how to slow down. Or ..... maybe he is just picking up bad habits from his mom, I will probably just go with this theory, just kidding. If you made it this far, thank you for taking a few minutes out of your day to read this. If this one resonated with you, share it or send it to another parent who might need the reminder. We’re all figuring this shit out while we pretend like we're experts. ### Had to be Me URL: https://savepointdad.com/had-to-be-me/ Last updated: 2025-10-29T14:31:36.000Z Okay, so I want to start off by saying this one is a bit meta. I recently was at a conference and had a lot of random thoughts on my drive. This probably won’t connect with everyone so if your new here check these out instead: [Strong Enough to Be Kind: The Balance](https://savepointdad.com/strong-enough-to-be-kind-the-balance/) and [Some People Just Have It. I Never Have](https://savepointdad.com/some-people-just-have-it-i-never-have/). I have got a lot of good feedback on them. One with the show, every time a new technology comes along, we fight with it. We question it, doubt it, but eventually we normalize it. Right now, I am thinking about AI because it is everywhere. Some people are all for it while others feel like it's the worst thing ever created. What is surprising to me is that several people I know who are always first to adopt new technology absolutely hate it while on the opposite end, I know 80 year olds who use it every day. I think to break it down in its simplest form, AI feels different to us because it talks back. It’s not just a tool; it’s something that listens, answers, learns, and adapts. It can copy our tone, writing, and even our sense of awe. And that can be very unsettling. So I keep wondering how do most people treat AI? Do you say “please” when you ask it to do something? Do you type “thank you” when it gives you what you want?Do you get frustrated when it misunderstands you, or even insult it? Because here’s the thing, gamers have been here before. We’ve been negotiating morality with machines for decades. ### **We’ve Always Talked to the Machine** I’ve spent an embarrassing amount of hours in virtual worlds. Actually, I’m not embarrassed, it’s what I enjoy. From *The Legend of Zelda* to *Mass Effect*, and through all those years, I’ve realized that virtual worlds and forms of AI are not new. Way before ChatGPT, we (gamers) built connections to virtual lives. We talked to characters who were programmed, and yet we cared what they thought. We formed attachments to companions that were not real, hell I still think about some of their deaths and how it impacted me and the story. One of the most dramatic scenes in a video game I ever played was Mass Effect when a character sacrificed himself to save his team and me. When we tried to think of different options he simply said his catchphrase, “It has to be me, someone else might get it wrong.” Then he sacrificed himself and saved the world. Gamers are okay with suspending disbelief, well to a certain extent. We’ve learned to treat digital worlds as moral playgrounds and honestly as experiments at times. ### **Virtual Worlds Don’t Forget** I’ll go back to Mass Effect. If you’ve ever played it, you already know the pain I’m about to mention. That moment in the first game where one squad mate must die so the other can live. The player has to make that decision. What was crazy is it echoes across three entire games, over five real world years. Every time you play a sequel, it looks up your past save file and reminds you of the decisions you made.The dead character is mentioned from time to time in the game world and characters look at you because you made the decision to let them die. Their world does not forget. That choice lingers. And that’s the genius of the design, it forces you to live with your digital morality. That’s the power of how we treat digital characters. When a binary decision makes you sit in silence, staring at the screen, realizing that you just felt something for a collection of scripted programming responses, that’s god damn humanity. ### **The Rude Player** Here is where it gets interesting, not every game rewards kindness. Sometimes you can rob a shopkeeper, ignore a villager’s plea, or talk down to your party members, and nothing bad happens. You can treat all the onscreen characters like shit and there are no consequences. You still progress forward and save the world. And yet, when I’ve done it (usually just to see what happens), I feel off. Like I broke some unspoken rule. It’s like stepping out of character in a story you actually care about. There’s a strange hollowness to it. The world doesn’t punish you, but your conscience does. You might even try to rationalize it, “It’s just a game”, but the guilt still lingers because you disrespected this fake game world. It’s fucking weird. This is what makes video games little morality labs. They show us what we’ll do when we think no one’s judging or what we do just because we can. ### **Why This Matters (I think)** Just like these video game worlds, AI doesn’t have feelings. We can be kind or rude to it and there really aren’t any consequences or rewards to either. But the habits we form around it can spill into how we treat real people. Courtesy, patience, tone, I honestly believe these are muscles we train. If I spend all day barking orders at a device, how long before I start talking that way to everyone else? If I take the time to say “thank you,” even when I don’t have to, doesn’t it just make sense that I would do that in every aspect of my life. There’s a scene in *Mass Effect 3* where a synthetic being tells you it doesn’t hate humans, it just doesn’t understand them. Honestly guys, it may be *Mass Effect 2*, I honestly can’t remember but I wanted to point it out because fans will come hard at me if I get it wrong. ### **Harbinger** As with everything in society, people talk about AI in extremes. It will create a utopia or be the Harbinger. Okay, I just need to also point out Harbinger is the final boss in Mass Effect so honestly I am just proud I was able to connect it. I hear people say AI will take our jobs, think for us, and take our creativity. Yet, if you continue that conversation, people hate their jobs, consider society dumber than ever, and pretty much are professional critics of all media. So maybe it is good that AI is going to change things and push us to create and think differently? Isn't that what we want? Do we just want to keep things the way they are now? I don’t know but I do know that AI is going to force us to change. Maybe saying “please” to AI doesn’t change the outcome. Maybe “thank you” doesn’t improve its accuracy. But it builds a habit of grace. It reminds you to play the game well. ### **Thanks for Reading** So okay, I know this one was out there. It was fun and different. I actually voice-recorded most of this while driving which explains some of the thoughts jumping around. I tried to keep it as true to what I was thinking as I could. I have been told people enjoy my blog because it's real, honest, and not curated for perfection. These are my random thoughts and they seem to be connecting with you all. Next week’s blog will be on the heavier side. I will probably have to issue another public apology. If this made you think or you're impressed by Mass Effect knowledge, share this. Send it to someone who thinks ChatGPT is plotting world domination and monitors their every action. Thanks for being here. We are growing. Over 4,000 followers on Instagram and thousands of visitors to this site. You are all Dope AF. ### The Ones Who Knew Us Before Life URL: https://savepointdad.com/the-ones-who-knew-us-before-life/ Last updated: 2025-10-21T15:11:14.000Z There’s something almost tribal about the people who knew me when I was young. I’m talking about the ones who knew me when everyday I would wake up just looking to get into some neighborhood trouble but with dreams I couldn't explain. Friends that knew what kind of cereal I liked, gave me random nicknames, and together we would go swimming at random hotel pools because none of our houses had air conditioning; being poor sucks. Those people are a baseline for me. Almost like the original version of my story before life added all the bullshit. ### **Different Phases, Same Players** We all go through phases. School, college, work, marriage, kids. Each stage brings new people into our circle; coworkers, college friends, and other parents from our kids' activities. This last year my circle has expanded more than I am used to and that's a good thing (I guess lol). God, I know they are reading this now with a sly smirk on their faces. But every now and then, I’ll see the dudes I grew up with. And it’s crazy how instantly everything snaps back into place. We go literally years without seeing each other, and yet within minutes it feels like we just walked home from 7/11 again. The conversations jump between the present and the past like we’re flipping through SavePoints. We talk about kids and jobs, but mostly we laugh about dumb shit we did before life got serious. There’s no showing off. No need to impress. Just familiarity and truth. It’s grounding. A reminder that although life gets complicated, we’re still the same people who once shared nachos, Icees, and stupid AF ideas that somehow made the best memories. ### **Honest Realities** The older I get, the more I realize how quickly life changed course for us. Yes, It happened quickly; but I can’t pinpoint the moment. None of the guys I grew up with went to college. Some had families early; some are still trying to figure out if they want a family. A few struggled hard. A few more are in prison. If I’m honest, I still question why people like me get lucky and get breaks in life while some of them just didn’t get any. Not one. It’s humbling to admit, but if we hadn’t grown up in the same neighborhood, we wouldn’t have crossed paths as adults. Our lives, interests, and routines don’t overlap in any way. But because we did grow up together there’s an unspoken loyalty there. When I’m with them it makes me think and actually scares me how much of life is circumstance. Being in the right place at the right time. But maybe more importantly, not being in the wrong place. One bad decision or one bad night and your path can look completely different. It makes me grateful and just aware. ### **Good people make bad choices** Seeing the people who knew you before life happened is humbling. They remember who you were when you didn’t have to try to be anything. They saw the real version, the one with no filter, no résumé, no expectations. And that matters, because it keeps you honest. It’s easy to get caught up chasing goals, validation, and that on going sense of progress. But then you chat with someone who knew you when all your clothes were from the flea market and there's a different sense of honesty that comes out. It helps me realize I’ve done okay. Not perfect. Not exactly what I imagined. But okay, and that’s worth a lot. They remind me that good people make bad choices. That not everyone who messes up deserves to be written off. We know each other’s stories, the struggles, the family stuff, the growing pains. We all carry pieces of our past into who we are today, but those friendships are the living proof. They’re roots. The people who remind you of who you were when life was simpler, smaller, maybe a little more chaotic, but real. I think that’s why, when I see my old friends, there’s always this quiet moment, when everyone looks around and knows we’re lucky to still be here and to have made it through the bullshit. Still laughing. Still connected. Still alive to remember. The very idea of this blog came from when I was at my uncle’s funeral and I chatted with a buddy of mine who I grew up with. He shared some details about when the literal SWAT Team smoked bombed his house and arrested him. Even something as serious as that can end in laughter. There’s a strange peace in realizing that even if your lives went completely different directions, the memory of growing up together keeps that connection alive. ### **Connection Doesn’t Have To Be Constant** I know when we are all together it looks odd. I am the one who seems to stand out and doesn’t quite seem to belong. So when I see those old friends when I laugh until my stomach hurts and realize we’ve barely talked about anything important I remind myself this is important. Connection doesn’t have to be constant to be real. (Okay, so I know I have heard this somewhere and can't remember. I even tried Googling and found nothing.) Sometimes the friendships that last the longest are the ones that don’t demand attention, just acknowledging each other and the connection we will always have. ### **We did OK, Kid** We all want to be understood, but being remembered hits deeper sometimes. So yeah, life pulls us in different directions. Priorities change. But every so often, take the time to reconnect with the people who knew you before all the damn noise. Because when the world feels complicated, those old connections remind you of something simple: You’ve come a long way. You’ve made it through. Anthony Hawkins was once asked if he could go back in time what would he say to his younger self? His answer has always stuck with me. “We did OK, Kid.” To the people who knew me before I knew myself, thank you. For reminding me that life isn’t about what we’ve built, but who we built it with. We may go years without talking, but every time we reconnect, it feels like no time has passed at all. That’s the kind of friendship you can’t buy, can’t replace, and can’t explain to anyone who hasn’t lived it. As always, thank you for reading my random thoughts. I always hope that it was worth your time. If so, please share this blog with a friend or family member. Watching this thing grow means a lot to me. Follow me on Instagram at SavePointDad or shoot me an email at [SavepointDad@gmail.com](mailto:SavepointDad@gmail.com) if you ever want to chat. ### Same Kid Energy. Bigger Budget. URL: https://savepointdad.com/same-kid-energy-bigger-budget/ Last updated: 2025-10-13T13:45:42.000Z Let’s start with a formal apology. *So… apparently my last blog was “an attack with extreme prejudice.” My wife and her friends didn’t love the part where she complained about a woman who acts like her (at times) and I, being the supportive husband I am, turned it into a case study. I’d like to apologize for the misunderstanding, I just thought we were all doing self-reflection together… turns out only I was.* *Just kidding, she actually knows about or reads everything I put about beforehand, except last week’s blog lol.* Being a parent is just cool. A different type of cool one that is real and just fun as hell. Like when your kid claps because you fixed their iPad, or when they proudly say, “My dad can do anything.” Okay I don’t know if my kids have actually said this, but I am making a point. Parenting’s not perfect, but it’s packed with the kind of energy that is hard to describe at times. We have the chance to retry, rediscover, and rewrite little parts of our own story through theirs. ## **Childhood with Better Budget** There’s something surreal about walking down a toy aisle as an adult. I used to walk through those aisles as a kid, broke af, debating what to steal. Now, I walk through with my kids and suddenly those toys all have the potential to come home with us. It’s no longer that we can’t afford them. Now it’s about whether my kids have them already or if they have been well behaved enough to deserve them. Sometimes I catch myself saying, “Damn, I always wanted one of these!” and I see my child’s eyes light up. Not because of the toy, but because I lit up first. They absolutely love hearing about what I used to love when I was a kid. Of course, I remind myself all the time, we can’t force them to relive our childhood. I can introduce her to Mario Kart, but I can’t make her love it the way I did. She might prefer Minecraft or some Cocoa Bocoa thing I can barely pronounce, and that’s okay. I get to show her what once filled my world and then step back to see what fills hers. I used to see parenting as a time-machine but now I would compare it more to being a tour guide. You revisit old levels, but this time, you get to point out the secrets and get the bonuses you missed the first time through. **Passing Down the Classics** One of the best parts of being a parent is introducing your kids to the stuff that made us excited as a kid. The day I showed my daughter Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, she was way more interested if there was a pink one than the fight scenes, but still she sat there while I quoted lines I hadn’t said out loud in 25 years. Or the time I played Sonic the Hedgehog and she asked, “Why is he so angry?” (I never realized how mad he looks.) These are the moments that remind you, you’re not just raising them, you’re also reconnecting with the kid version of yourself who used to think pizza-loving turtles and Sonic was the peak of storytelling. Then there are the nice little surprises like The Nightmare Before Christmas. I worried she might be too little for it, but she was fascinated. She was half creeped out but still interested. Watching her watch it was like rediscovering the movie for the first time. That’s one of the coolest parts of parenthood; every time you share a piece of your past, it transforms into something new through their eyes. ## **Hobbies** If you ever want to understand how pure love works, watch a kid copy what you do. It’s both adorable and terrifying. When I’m washing the car, she’s sitting inside it pretending to steer, throwing up her hands like I do during brief fits of road rage. When I’m gaming, she’s right next to me coaching me on what to do but occasionally says “Awww, the game got lucky.” Everyone knows when you win it's due to skill, but when you lose the other player/game just got lucky. Kids don’t really care what you’re doing. They just want to be with you. That is not even some huge secret, we all know it. I admit it’s hard sometimes slowing things down or explaining your hobby to a child. It’s not about crafting the perfect “Dad-and-me” activity. It’s about letting them into our world. Even the small stuff matters. Let them hold the wrench while you change the oil. Let them “help” fold laundry. Let them pick a car wash song. These little things don’t feel like memories in the making, but they are. ## **I Do it for the Applause** You haven’t truly lived until a 6-year-old cheers for you because you brought all the groceries in one trip. Or until you beat a video-game boss and hear a full-on round of applause like you just saved humanity. Their joy is exciting and real. They celebrate everything, even the things we’ve stopped noticing. I walk kind of fast? Dada everyone else is so slow compared to you (My son has said this several times and it's super embarrassing). I hit the gas too hard? Dada you're a race car driver! They’re cheering for the effort, the presence, and your energy. More importantly, they are cheering because you are acknowledging their presence. So if they can give us that kind of grace, we owe it right back. We’ve got to clap for their wins, the small ones especially. When they tie their own shoes or remember to say thank you, that’s when they need to see us cheering. That’s how they learn that effort is beautiful, not just achievement. The applause isn’t about ego. It’s about encouragement, and it goes both ways. ## **Nostalgia and Now** Parenting is one long balancing act between yesterday and tomorrow. We want them to experience the freedom we had being outside until dark, hanging out at the creek, basically the kind of boredom that builds imagination. But we also want them safe and supported. It’s tempting to make them love what we loved: the same cartoons, the same music, the same games. Sometimes it works, sometimes they look so confused and can’t understand why we like this boring game or movie. Put it simply, my goal isn’t to recreate my childhood, it’s to pass down curiosity. To show them what wonder looks like. If I show her that storytelling in games can move you, maybe she’ll find her own art that moves her. If I let her see how I take care of things like my car, fitness, our home; maybe she’ll learn how to care for her own world one day. ## **Hard Wired** Obviously we don’t always know which moments stick. It might not be the big family trip or the carefully planned weekend outing. It might be something tiny, the way we say good bye, or how we treat our kids when we get mad at them. Those little moments become part of their wiring. Our kids are watching the movie of our lives on repeat. Every gesture, every laugh, every eye roll becomes part of the story they’ll tell themselves later about what love looks like, what effort looks like, what parenthood looks like. ## **The Save Point Moments** Sometimes life slows down just enough to hand you a checkpoint, a moment that you just know will be a SavePoint. It’s that quiet “I love you” at bedtime. The giggle that turns into a belly laugh. The small hand grabbing yours when they get scared. Those are the memories you can return to when the levels get tough. They’re proof that you’re doing something right. Parenting is the longest game you’ll ever play, but it’s also the most rewarding. It’s messy, unpredictable, hard af, and yet somehow, it works. Because every time you think you’ve seen it all, your kid says or does something that completely throws you off guard. ## **Closing Credits** Every post I write here at **SavePointDad.com** it is a small checkpoint, a pause in the chaos where we breathe, laugh, and remind ourselves why we play this game at all. So here’s to the parents replaying childhood with better snacks and higher emotional intelligence. Parenting is hard. Parenting is hilarious. But more than anything, parenting is just plain cool. Thanks for reading. \-SavePointDad ### What We Dislike in Others Is Often in Us Too URL: https://savepointdad.com/what-we-dislike-in-others-is-often-in-us-too/ Last updated: 2025-10-07T13:49:05.000Z I’ve joked for years that the people who annoy me most are usually people just like me. The loud guy who interrupts people in conversations? I have been known to do that. The stubborn co-worker who refused to budge? Guilty. The friend who always has to be right about some random trivia fact? Definitely me. The other day my wife was venting about a girl she can’t stand. She started listing examples of why this girl drove her nuts. I just sat there quietly because, well, the list sounded … familiar. What's funny is, I did not even have to say anything at all. My wife looked at me, threw her hands up, and said, “We are not talking about me, right now!” We’re experts at identifying what irritates us in others, but refuse to admit when those traits belong to us also. ## **Reflection (I know another annoying mirror analogy)** Most of the time, the traits that we dislike in others probably cause a reaction in us because we know we do the same. We don’t like being reminded of the parts of us we’re not proud of, or more often than not, pretend don’t exist. It’s easier to point the finger at someone else than admit, “Shit, that’s me too.” That’s what makes introspection so hard. It’s not about whether you’re willing to change, it’s about whether you’re willing to admit you *need* to. Looking in the mirror is uncomfortable, especially when the reflection shows the same annoying quirks you were just complaining to someone else about. It’s humbling to realize that the people we criticize are actually very similar to us. Think of the times you’ve judged someone for being late, knowing you have a reputation for always being late. Or when you’ve rolled your eyes at someone cutting you off mid-sentence, knowing you can easily talk through people. These little reminders sting because they force us to confront the version of ourselves we prefer not to acknowledge. ## **Shadow Link** Think about video games or movies. The villain is almost always just a darker version of the hero. - In *Legend of Zelda*, you literally face Shadow Link, a mirror image of the Link with the exact same moves and gear. - The Hulk’s enemy is Abomination, basically Hulk but with even less control. - Shang-Chi fights his dad, who has the exact same skills and power but twisted by his need for control. - Anyone who plays fighting games knows the worst and most annoying match ups are when you both pick the same character. This theme shows up everywhere once you start looking. *Black Panther* had Killmonger, a version of himself shaped by anger. *Iron Man* faced villains who were also inventors, but driven by greed instead of purpose. I mean it makes sense the hardest battles are always internal first. Before we can defeat the bad guy, we have to wrestle with the parts of ourselves that look just like him. That’s why the fight feels personal. Because it kind of is. ## **I Do That To** So what do we do with this thought of the week? Honestly, this one is more than a thought of the week. I have been saying this for years. Next time you feel annoyed by someone you should ask, what about them feels familiar? That parent at school pickup who brags too much? Maybe they’re just trying to cover their insecurities, like we all have done. The colleague who argues every point? Maybe they just want to feel heard, the same reason you sometimes push back too hard. Don’t get me wrong, it doesn’t excuse bad or rude behavior, but it changes it in a way. ## **Upside Down World** Life, like a video game, isn’t about avoiding battles, it’s about learning from them. When we have to to face a shadow version of ourselves out in the world, it’s uncomfortable and irritating. Every annoying encounter is practice in patience, empathy, and humility. It forces us to have more self-awareness. Each time we spot our reflection in someone we don’t like, we get to decide, do we admit it or deny it? Guys, I am going to be honest, I think self awareness is what the world is missing right now. If we all could teach it and demonstrate it a little more, our world would probably just chill out a bit. ## **SavePoint** At the end of the day, the people I’ve disliked most always had a lot in common with me. I would've never admitted it at the time or even now to their faces. They’ve held up mirrors I didn’t ask for and showed me the parts of myself I’d rather ignore. That’s frustrating. So the next time someone pisses you off, ask yourself; are they really the problem, or are they just reminding you of yourself? Thanks for reading and for letting me share these reflections with you. Every week this community keeps growing, and it means more than I can say. If this post made you pause and think, I’d love it if you shared it with someone else. And if you made it this far and haven’t yet, subscribe! Wtf. ### From “Used to Be” to “Still Can” URL: https://savepointdad.com/from-used-to-be-to-still-can/ Last updated: 2025-09-29T17:59:50.000Z Two years ago, I was in a garage, with beers, a lot of them. Doing what we as men love to do, brag about our past glory days. It’s funny how fast a garage can turn into a time machine, everyone reaching back for the best version of themselves. But as I sat there, I realized, I didn’t want to be a guy who lived in the past tense. You know the scene: crusty folding chairs and music that is annoyingly loud. And then the conversation hits that same point it does every time; the athletic highlight reels. Everyone suddenly becomes LeBron James crossed with Arnold Schwarzenegger, retelling stories of speed, strength, and stamina. I sat there nodding along, knowing my fitness was never something to brag about (It still isn’t lol). “Bro, back in my twenties, I could bench three plates easy.” (I think this is a lot?) “I used to run a mile in under six minutes, hungover.” “I got into one fight that I did not take a single punch in” And there I was realizing something, I didn’t want to live in the “used to.” I didn’t want to tell stories about how fast I once ran, or how much I once lifted, or how shredded my abs allegedly were before McDonalds destroyed them. We eat McDonalds a lot, honestly cause my wife, not my kids. I decided I wanted to try to live in the present tense, not the past. I wanted to do these things now. **Fitness is Weird** Here’s the weird part about fitness: we all want more of it, but at the same time we brag about how little we try. We want result with no effort, abs without planks, endurance without endless hours of cardio. And when we do put in effort? We immediately downplay it, like admitting you actually tried is embarrassing. It’s the weirdest thing. - Someone loses 10 pounds? “Oh yeah, I barely worked out, just cut soda.” - A dude has abs? “Genetics, bro. I don’t even watch what I eat.” - Someone runs a half marathon? “I walked most of it.” Even though their average mile was 7 minutes. It’s the strangest flex. It’s like we’re all scared of admitting that fitness takes effort, sweat, and the occasional emotional breakdown. Pretending fitness “just happens” is like saying you beat the God damn water temple in Ocarina of Time without a guidebook. Side note, it’s crazy thinking we used to buy game guide books to help us beat games. Those stupid books cost half as much as the video game. Imagine if we did this in other parts of life. “I got that promotion, but honestly, I barely worked at all.” Actually, I have heard of this happening quite a few times. I am sure you all instantly thought of a coworker and thought WTF. The truth? Fitness is one of those rare things in life that gives you exactly what you put in. You can’t fake your way through pushups. You can’t bluff your way through cardio. You either grind, or you don’t. **The First Steps** My early workouts were a mess. I looked like one of those background people in a sports movie montage, everyone else is sprinting up the stairs, and I’m sitting halfway up, gasping like a fish. Again, I probably still look like this lol. But here’s the thing: I kept showing up. A few times my kid asked me why I was sweating when I wasn’t even moving. Kids are brutally honest, nothing like your kid asking “Are you dying?” during your plank to humble you. Slowly, it added up. A few miles here, a few dumbbell sets there, and eventually I wasn’t doing this to “get back” to who I used to be. I was building who I wanted to be now. And that’s a way better story to tell, because “right now” is something I can prove. **Progress** Two years in, here’s what I’ve learned about fitness progress: **You will sweat a lot. It’s gross.** The human body is basically a sprinkler system. **Every milestone feels both huge and tiny.** Run a 5K? Huge. Then you realize people do ultramarathons where they run 100 miles through mountains, and suddenly you feel small again. That’s life. **Your laundry pile will double.** Not much to say about this. It’s annoying. **Rest days feel wrong.** You’ll think “Shouldn’t I be doing something?” No, sit down, fool, and rest. **Yoga feels great but makes you feel stupid.** Look up “Happy Baby” pose. Feels great but looks stupid af. **Fitness is Parenting Fuel** The biggest gains aren’t in the mirror, they’re in my life. Okay, I won’t lie, I have finally started to like what I see, but I digress. Running around with my kids doesn’t leave me winded or sore the next day. Carrying them to bed is still heavy, but I know I will be able to hold and carry them for years to come. Fitness became less about sets and reps, and more about presence, being strong enough and healthy enough to be there for them. It’s wild how much easier parenting feels when your body is conditioned to move. **Two Years Later** I’m not the fittest guy. I don’t have a shredded six-pack that looks like it belongs in a Marvel movie. But I’m not competing with them, I’m competing with the old me who didn’t care what he ate and never worked out. Here’s what I do have: - A body that runs, lifts, and plays with my kids without getting tired. - A healthier mindset that sees fitness not as punishment, but as privilege. - A sense of pride that I’m not living in the “used to” anymore. **Final Save Point** Here’s the big takeaway: fitness isn’t about the past version of you. It’s not about proving you still got it. It’s about building a future you actually want to live in. And when you start seeing it that way, the pressure kind of goes away. It’s no longer about chasing the past you, it’s about becoming who you want to be. It’s not easy and it sure as hell isn’t always fun. But like every good video game, the grind is where the real progress happens. So here I am, two years later: still sweating, still grinding, still laughing at myself along the way. Because fitness, like life, is better when you don’t take yourself too seriously. And if you ever need a reminder: the best time to start was yesterday, but the second-best time is right now. Cliché af, I know, but it’s true. **Thank You** Thanks for reading, and if this made you laugh or think a little, please share it. This community has been growing every week, and I can’t thank you enough for making that happen. I love the fact that I finally feel like I have my space. Every time I get a new subscriber, I get an email notification, and promptly run and tell my wife and kids. The more we share, the more we build a space where dads, parents, gamers, and anyone chasing “better” can supported. Feel free to send me an email at [SavePointDad@gmail.com](mailto:SavePointDad@gmail.com) or follow me on social media SavePointDad. I appreciate you. ### Gaming as a Dad: How Video Games Change After Having Kids URL: https://savepointdad.com/gaming-as-a-dad-escape-and-connection/ Last updated: 2026-09-01T04:50:53.000Z The last few blogs I’ve written have been on the heavier side. Today, I want to talk about something lighter, but still important to me: gaming. I can just imagine some of you rolling your eyes, but keep reading. Gaming has been a part of my life for as long as I can remember, my first gaming system was the Sega Genesis and I still remember my cousin coming over to set it up. He’s actually probably reading this right now (Thanks). What used to be about high scores and bragging rights with friends is now about connection, winding down, and I know it sounds crazy, but teaching moments. It’s funny how something that used to be simple can become layered and complex as we grow older, I guess that’s true with most things in life. For me, gaming has always been more than just a pastime. It’s been an escape and even a source of tiny accomplishments. Small wins that after a long exhausting day are meaningful. It’s about creating a safe, fun space where we can laugh and hopefully get some wins together. Gaming after having kids didn't make me less of a gamer. It just changed when I played, why I played, and eventually who I played with. ### How Gaming Changes After You Have Kids When summer rolls around my kids and I spend every second of daylight outside. Starting in late February, I literally track sunset times and tell my wife how many extra minutes of light we’ve gained that day. She finds this mildly annoying, but I can’t help it. To me, those extra minutes feel like little bonuses each day. It’s almost like I treat summer as a different kind of game, where the objective is to use every second of daylight. When I see my kids laughing in the backyard or covered in chalk from the driveway, I know we made the best of the day. Summer is about physical play, imagination, and fresh air. But once the days shorten and the sun disappears earlier, gaming becomes our way of winding down. In the winter, when it gets dark before dinner, my kids and I play a lot more video games. Those winter nights don’t feel like a downgrade from summer, they’re just different. There’s something warm about the way we sit in the living room and just spend time together before bed. So yes, we prefer the summer but we enjoy winter just as much, I want to teach my kids to go with the flow and embrace the rhythm of the year. **Gaming With My Kids Became Something We Share** I don’t think a lot of people realize how important story telling is to gaming. There have been some games that after the credits rolled I sat there in shock about how the story played out and continued thinking about it for quite literally for years. I will argue with anyone that video games have put out better stories than movies and TV shows. I am specifically thinking of Final Fantasy 15, The Last of Us, and Clair Obscur: Expedition 33\. It’s incredible how deep and impactful these stories are. Have you noticed shows and movies are now based off video games, rather than books? My kids may not understand every challenge or reference, but they connect with the characters and their journeys. They’ve learned that even heroes fail and have to try again. In many ways, the lessons hidden in these games are no different from the ones we try to teach as parents. What I love is that it isn’t just me playing while they watch. They participate. They’ll spot hidden power-ups or yell out, “Dada, you missed that one!” My daughter has even taken it a step further; she’ll research boss fights on YouTube so she can coach me when I’m stuck. Imagine me sitting there, controller in hand, frustrated by the same attack pattern. She then chimes it what I need to do, it’s like she’s my personal gaming consultant. It’s funny, but also very important to her. She’s learning resourcefulness, teamwork, and problem-solving, all disguised as gaming tips. It also gives her a sense of pride, because she’s not just watching Dada play; she’s helping me win. And when her advice works, she is thrilled and makes pretend notes in her notebook. It cracks me up every time, but it also makes me proud. She’s problem-solving, strategizing, and, most importantly, joining me in something I’ve always loved. ### Why Do We Still Judge Adults for Playing Video Games? One thing I have always noticed about being an adult gamer is that it still comes with silent judgment. I know you’ve probably seen it too. The raised eyebrows, the “don’t you have better things to do?” comments, or the subtle implication that video games are for kids. It doesn’t bother me anymore but in the past, it used to bother me so much and frankly did not make sense to me. To me, gaming is far more interactive than TV. I don’t feel passive. When someone is watching TV, a movie, or a sports game they are literally just sitting there for hours. Literally hours. With games, I’m part of the story, part of the challenge, and make choices for the characters. And while I may not be running a marathon or changing the car’s oil, finishing a level or beating a boss does give me a tiny sense of accomplishment. Sometimes that’s exactly what I need at the end of a long day. It’s less about escaping responsibility and more about recharging in a way that works for me. When I put the controller down, I’m still the same dad, the same husband, the same professional. But for that one hour, I’ve stepped into another world, solved a few problems, and walked away with a win. That feels good. We live in a world where so much of what we do is measured by productivity. Gaming isn’t like that. There’s no big audience. No “likes” or “shares.” That’s part of why I love it. It’s a private sense of achievement that exists only between me and sometimes my kids cheering from the couch. The world doesn’t need to know every victory, and that makes the victories even sweeter. When I finally beat a tricky boss, or when my daughter’s YouTube researched strategy actually works, I feel this quiet sense of achievement. These small wins stack up, reminding me that progress doesn’t always have to be monumental to feel good. They keep me grounded. The real reward is how gaming has turned into a shared language between me and my kids. They don’t always understand what I do at work. They don’t always understand my workouts or my running goals. But when I sit down with a controller, they know the mission. They know the characters. That bond is priceless. It’s a reminder that connection doesn’t always have to come through lectures or planned activities. Sometimes, it’s just about doing what you love and letting your kids join you. ### Gaming With Your Kids Is About More Than the Game So yes, gaming has been my escape. It’s given me tiny accomplishments in a world that sometimes feels overwhelming. And most of all, it’s become one of the ways I connect with my kids, especially during those restless long winter nights. I love the fact that gaming started as a solo hobby has turned into one of my favorite family activities. And if anyone ever judges me for being an adult gamer, I’ve learned not to take it personally. They don’t see the stars or coins my kids spot, the research my daughter did, or the way we laugh together when I fail a boss fight for the tenth damn time. Connection matters and I hope you have found a way to connect with your loved ones. I especially hope you can share your hobbies with your children and they enjoy them as much as you do. **Thank You** Thank you for reading, we are growing and every new subscriber I get is still amazing to me. If this resonates with you, whether you’re a gamer, parent or both, I’d love to hear from you. Share this with a friend and don’t forget to subscribe at SavePointDad.com. Feel free to reach out anytime at savepointdad@gmail.com. I post a lot of random crap on Instagram so you might want to check that out also. ### Chasing Connection or Chasing Numbers? URL: https://savepointdad.com/chasing-connection-or-chasing-numbers/ Last updated: 2025-09-16T03:31:25.000Z When I started SavePointDad, it wasn’t about likes, followers, or subscribers. It was about proving something to myself. I wanted to learn how to build a website, the ins and outs of social media, and how to build something from scratch really just to see if I could. Could I create a corner of the internet that felt like mine? It’s so huge and basically limitless that I wanted to say a small piece of it is there because of me. What I didn’t realize at the time is how much this little experiment highlighted not just my ability to learn something new, but also my desire to be noticed. **Validation** I’ll admit it, the first time a stranger followed my Instagram, I got a small rush. My Instagram page was up for about a week and I had four posts before anyone followed me. Someone I didn’t know saw my post and thought: Yeah, this is cool. \*Follow\*. That tiny validation felt better than I expected. Suddenly, it wasn’t just a random project anymore; it was in many ways a performance. I needed more. And then it started to grow. 100 followers. 1,000 followers. 2,000 followers. Once the direct messages and emails came in, I was hooked. Every new metric (subscribers, saves, and shares) was like adding points to a score that I didn’t even know I was keeping, let alone cared about. That’s the funny thing about numbers; they have real gravity. They pull you in, even if you tell yourself, you’re above them. **Numbers** To me, there are two versions of writing. Writing for me. At times I write something deep, raw, and personal. These are the pieces where I explore guilt, struggle, and who I want to be. That writing helps me think through my own thoughts. It’s not polished, jumps around a bit, and in many ways is therapy in disguise for me. Writing for numbers. After several months I now have a better understanding of what people like and what social media posts or blogs will be clicked on more. As I am making a new social media post, I generally have a good idea of how to tweak them to ensure they are liked and shared out more. Writing like this isn’t bad, in fact, it’s kind of fun. There’s energy there that wants me to keep going. But it can feel like chasing a high score instead of telling my story. Both styles of writing matter. And honestly, both have their place. What surprised me, though, is how quickly more views and clicks began to matter to me. When a post or blog didn’t perform well, I’d feel like it failed, even if it helped me. And that’s where the tension is. **The Numbers Game** Let’s be honest. It feels good to be heard. When I log into Instagram and see more followers, when a blog post gets more clicks, it’s exciting. It’s addictive, and it sneaks up on you. But the reality is numbers don’t stop. They don’t reach an ending. There’s no final boss of social media where you get the credits to roll. It’s endless progression. A lot of us are excited to take projects on because they will eventually end. We can look back and say we are done and we did good work. With social media there is no endpoint. I’ve caught myself asking: if the numbers stopped, would I still write? Would I still sit down after the kids are in bed and write these reflections? Or would take my website and social media down and move on to my next random idea. **The Honest Answer** Yes, well most likely. I think so. When I write a post that helps me process my thoughts, helps me want to be better, or begin to understand my lack of patience, those pieces do something inside me. They let me save progress in a way that numbers can’t. Okay, so I realize I haven’t actually posted my patience blog yet but it’s coming. You would be surprised by how many ideas I have that I want to write about, and how many I already have sketched out. I’ve had moments where the words pour out, and I hit post, and it doesn’t matter if anyone reads it. I already got what I needed: clarity. But again, it feels good to see likes. But it feels just as good, sometimes even better, to publish something and sit back with a sigh and think: That was honest and that was me. Does anyone else feel this way? And many of you do, that’s what I love about this. I take the time to write and you all take the time to tell me you have also been thinking the same. It feels almost surreal to know I’ve connected with so many people I’ve never met, will never meet, or even know their names. After I publish this, someone will be in Australia or United Kingdom and take the time to sit down, read this, and think about it. WILD. **Why I Keep Pressing Continue** Every time I question why I’m doing this, I come back to one thought: the writing is the SavePoint. It’s where I stop, reflect, and lock in progress. It’s not about the followers or the social media metrics. It’s about leaving behind SavePoints that my kids might read one day, or that I can return to when I forget what I’ve learned. That’s the SavePoint I care about. If the numbers climb, awesome. If they flatline, well, I’ve still got my SavePoints. And maybe that’s the healthiest way to look at it. Social media will rise and fall, algorithms will change, but these blogs are mine. **A Note to You** Since you’re here, reading this, you’re part of the numbers. I am only on social media to drive people to this blog. The fact that you are here reading this means a lot to me. Every view is a person with their own life and story. I can look at some metrics and see I have people subscribed from several different countries. That is just wild to me. You’re not some random subscriber to me; you’re someone who found something in my words that felt worth pausing on. That matters to me more than you know. We will never meet in person, but we share the same space for a moment, connected by story. Whether you found me through a post on social media or my blog was recommended to you by a friend, you’re here now, and that is appreciated. **Both Can be True** Am I writing for me or for numbers? The truth is, I’m writing for both. I’m writing to learn, to prove, to heal, to share. And I’m writing because it feels good to be heard. But at the end of the day, if all the likes, followers, and views disappeared, I would still be here. Because the best metric is the quiet satisfaction of saying: I put something out that mattered, even if it was only to me. **Thank You & Subscribe** If you’ve read this far, thank you. You’re proof that words can travel literally across the world, that thoughts can connect, and that numbers don’t tell the whole story. If you want to keep following along as I figure out fatherhood, fitness, and gaming, the messy and the meaningful, subscribe. ### Are We Allowed to Have Fun Without the Kids? URL: https://savepointdad.com/are-we-allowed-to-have-fun-without-the-kids/ Last updated: 2025-09-08T13:42:16.000Z Yesterday my wife and I ran the Disneyland Half Marathon. I survived (though I’ll admit, I had my doubts if I could make it) it was sweaty and exhausting. Disney people are a whole other species. I know I really have to get better about focusing on the moment and not getting lost in my thoughts. 13 miles gives you a LONG time to think. I kept circling back to one thought: sometimes the hardest part of parenting isn’t what we do, it’s what we feel when we’re not with our kids. What stuck with me was a question I got a few times leading up to the race. “Are you taking the kids?” A simple question, asked with no hidden agenda. Yet, somewhere inside, I felt a tiny bit of guilt, like I needed to justify why the kids weren’t coming, why this weekend was just for us. It made me think how much of parenting is performance, not in a fake way, but in a constant balancing act between what feels right for our families and what we think will be accepted by others. **Pressure** Nobody made me feel bad. But I noticed something in myself, and in conversations I’ve had with other parents. There’s this belief that says: If you’re having fun, your kids should be there too. If they’re not, are they really your priority? That thought doesn’t come from any one person, but from hearing it in the social media, movies, and even our own upbringing. It’s the nagging thought that good parents are always with their kids, even when we know balance requires breaks. I’ve even had friends admit they took trips without their kids and didn’t hide it from their children, no, they hid it from other parents. Because what would people think if they proudly said, “We went to Hawaii, just the two of us.” It’s not their kids they worry about, it’s the judgment of their own friends and family. That’s the world we live in, where it feels safer to pretend, we never want a break, than to own the fact that we sometimes need one. There’s an unspoken rule that good parents are supposed to want their kids included in everything. That if we need space, or joy, or rest that doesn’t revolve around our kids, it must mean something’s lacking in us, or worse, in our love for them. But that’s not true. In fact, the very opposite is often the case. It’s because we love them that we sometimes need to recharge, to be human, to reconnect with ourselves or our partners. **Time** Here’s what I realized while regretting signing up for half marathon pretty much the whole time, it’s okay to claim moments that are just ours. These moments aren’t about running away from responsibility; they’re about running toward sustainability. Parenting is not a sprint, it’s an endurance event, one much longer than a half marathon. And no endurance athlete makes it to the finish line without breaks and refueling. Even in video games like Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time (The best game ever made) Link can go fishing, horseback riding, and just chat with people while he is dealing with Ganondorf’s world ending bullshit time and time again. Running a half marathon with my wife gave us space to connect in a way we don’t always get to in the chaos of school lunches, combing my daughter’s hair, and bedtime routines. We weren’t mom and dad for a few hours. We pushed through the same miles, reminded each other to breathe, laughing at how terrible we were going to look in race photos, and shared an accomplishment that was ours. Sidenote: My wife reminded me several times not to trip, again. Last time I only made it to the literal one-mile mark and twisted my ankle. I get hurt a lot. When our kids see us whole, happy, and sometimes tired but fulfilled, they see that adulthood is balance. They see and hopefully begin to understand that joy doesn’t always have to be centered on them, and that’s healthy and more importantly it’s reality. **Show** I think part of the problem is how we’ve gotten used to packaging parenting for social media. The vacations look perfect, the birthday parties are designed for Instagram, and we’re quick to share the wins. But the honest parts? Those don’t always make it to the feed. And in leaving them out, we create an illusion that every parent is always smiling and always thrilled to be doing every single task. I have to say vacation are hard as hell with kids, so much so, we have even come home early because the kids wouldn’t stop fighting. Now as parents we quietly book a couples’ getaway but don’t post about it. We run a race without the kids and half-joke that we feel bad. We’re more comfortable confessing exhaustion than admitting joy that didn’t include the family. It shows that we’ve normalized burnout more than balance. Because saying “I’m wiped” gets sympathy, but saying “I needed time just for me” risks side-eye. **Sacrifice** Part of why this guilt feels so heavy is because many of us never saw our own parents prioritize themselves. For a lot of us, growing up meant watching moms and dads sacrifice every ounce of energy and never complain, as if that was the only model of good parenting. But what if we shifted things? What if being a good parent wasn’t about martyrdom but about modeling sustainability? When my kids grow up, I don’t want them to believe that love requires losing yourself. I want them to see that love can exist alongside joy, hobbies, goals, and health. **Loud** Just think of Lord of the Rings, even Frodo needed breaks while taking the ring back to Mount Doom. Him and Sam would chill, talk shit about Sauron, and relax together with a nice meal. So maybe the best thing we can do is say it out loud. To admit that we sometimes need time without our kids, and that it makes us better parents in the long run. When one parent shares it, it creates a little space for another to say, “me too.” That’s how cultures shift, not through silence, but through honesty. If more of us admitted the truth, the less guilt there would be in the asking, “Are you taking the kids?” And maybe the answer could become as simple as, “Hell No”. Yes, I know this is easier said then done but considering it is a start. **Nah** So, here’s my little challenge to myself, and maybe to you, too. Next time you do something without the kids, don’t feel the need to justify it. Don’t hide it. Just say you needed a trip for yourself. And the more we normalize that, the easier things will be. Because the more we normalize that, the less guilt there will be when another parent asks the inevitable, “Did you take the kids?” The answer can just be a simple: “Nah.” Something as small as that can set an example for others to not second guess their own choices so much. **Thank You** Thanks for reading through this reflection with me. If this resonated with you, I’d love if you shared it with another parent who might need the reminder that their time matters, too. And if you want to keep following along as I write about fatherhood, fitness, and gaming life, don’t forget to subscribe and share out SavePointDad with your friends. ### A SavePoint I Do Not Want to Save URL: https://savepointdad.com/a-savepoint-i-do-not-want-to-save/ Last updated: 2025-09-01T23:46:17.000Z **“Do not pity the dead, Harry. Pity the living.” – Albus Dumbledore** The last few weeks have been rough on my family. About a month ago my grandma passed away. She was one of those steady quiet presences, always observing and only speaking when her words where needed (something I need to practice). And just two days ago we lost my uncle, her son. It’s hard to see my family just beginning their healing and accepting life will go on without my grandma only to have to experience another death. What has me conflicted right now is the fact that although they just passed, I am still thinking of my cousin. I cannot even talk about my uncle without also thinking about my cousin, his son, who passed away about a year and a half ago. That loss hit me in a way I wasn't expecting. He was my age. Death at that age does not feel like it belongs. It is unnatural, unfair, and it shatters the rules you think life is playing by. **Chasing Approval** Here is the part I have been focusing on the most. I always wanted my cousin to think I was cool. It sounds small, even childish, but it ran deep. He never knew it, but I shaped so much of myself around the hope that he would look at me as someone worth hanging out with. Not just because we were cousins or neighbors, but because he wanted to. The way I dress, my white on white shoes, and even my tattoos were usually in hopes that he would approve. We lived next door to each other for about twenty years. Side note: growing up next door to your cousin is an absolute blast. He was not flashy. He did not have the fast car, the career, or the perfect life. He was steady, often just sitting in his garage with a drink in hand. But I wanted, even needed, his approval. Maybe it was about bridging the gap between who I thought I was and who I wanted to be. Maybe it was just the instinct of a younger cousin trying to impress an older one. **The Gaps** When he died, I realized how much of our identity gets tied up in the people whose approval we want. His passing forced me to accept the truth that no age is guaranteed. Health does not always fade slowly, sometimes it just drops before we have a chance to recognize it's fading. When my grandma passed it felt different. It was expected, the natural order, the cycle we know is coming. Her rest was welcome after a long beautiful life. My cousin’s death was not. It still does not feel like it should have happened. Stacking these losses together, my cousin, my grandma, my uncle, I keep circling back to what stays after the grief. To me, it’s not the big milestones that make me feel like they are missing at. It is the inside jokes, the stories only we knew, and certain music that now will always feel incomplete in a way. **Stories That Last** When I was younger, I would see photos of my parents with people I never met. They would tell me stories about who they were and how they use to be so close, but I could not really feel it because I did not know them. Now I realize one day I will be the one telling my kids about my grandma, my uncle, and my cousin. I will tell them how I grew up next door to him, how we played video games together, got into fights, and shared a deep trust only cousins can. And just like me as a kid, they will not ever fully grasp it. I fully realize this blog doesn’t fit into my SavePointDad “brand” buckets. I am literally rolling my eyes even calling it a “brand”. I just spent a few hours this week learning how to categorize my blogs. I decided to go with Gaming, Fitness, and Building SavePointDad. I had a blog ready to go already, but decided to hit pause on it. I felt like I needed to write a little about these chaotic thoughts that I did not plan for. This blog does not fit into any of these categories so I’m creating a new category: Life. A place for me to process the stuff that I did not see coming. If I am being honest my cousin would probably laugh at me for writing this. He would say I was stuck on my nerd shit again, but I also know he would have read it or at the very least sit there while I read it to him. **Perspective** Grief sharpens perspective. Arguments, traffic, and minor inconveniences that usually get under my skin feel smaller. It reinforces that time is not as guaranteed as we pretend it is. When my cousin passed away, I got “Serius est quam cogitas” tattooed on my arm. It means, "It is later than you think." I think a lot about legacy. Not the kind that ends up in history books, the reality is only a handful of people will have that kind of legacy. That does not make our lives any less important. To me, my grandma’s legacy was quiet strength. My uncle’s was kindness. My cousin’s was pride, the way he did not apologize for his choices and decisions. Those legacies do not fade. **Talking to My Kids** One of the hardest parts is explaining loss to my kids. How do you tell them that someone who was alive and present is gone forever? Kids see the world in absolutes, alive or dead, happy or sad, and grief does not fit in those boxes. My daughter sees the sadness my family is experiencing and wants to make it better. She wants to understand. I keep it simple. I tell them who my grandma, my uncle, and my cousin were, and why they mattered. Thankfully she hasn’t asked me if I will die also one day. Honestly, I do not know how I will answer that yet. ***Remember "Memento Mori"*** This is not the kind of blog I expected to write. It does not have tips or neat conclusions. It is just me, at a SavePoint I did not plan for. Writing this was not planned, but I needed it. I know it’s shorter than usual and jumps around a bit. That’s okay, I need to play with my kids a little extra this week. If it connected with you, share it. As always feel free to share your thoughts, email me anytime at savepointdad@gmail.com. \-SavePointDad ### Strong Enough to Be Kind: The Balance URL: https://savepointdad.com/strong-enough-to-be-kind-the-balance/ Last updated: 2025-08-26T03:54:49.000Z **When Strength and Kindness Collide** I can remember thinking about this about a week or two after we found out our second would be a boy. How am I going to teach him be strong yet at the same time kind? It sounds easy in theory but in reality, they can feel like two opposing lessons at times. I have found myself correcting my son twice in the same day in two completely different ways. One second, I was reminding him that it’s okay to cry when he’s hurt or frustrated. A little while later, I was telling him to “Don't be scared, throw sand back” when another kid kept throwing sand at him at the park. Both lessons were true. Both felt important. And yet, in the moment, they seemed like opposites. I was telling him vulnerability was a strength, and toughness shouldn't be hidden. If I felt confused as an adult, I could only imagine how confusing it must feel for a kid still building his worldview. **Perfectly Balanced** We live in a world that often divides strength and kindness into separate boxes. Be tough, or be gentle. Stand your ground, or be compassionate. For boys especially, we lean hard toward toughness, as if a strong boy can’t also be tender. But that narrative doesn’t hold up in real life. The strongest people I’ve met were often the most compassionate, and the kindest people I’ve known had an iron will beneath their gentleness. When I started paying attention, I realized these traits weren’t opposites at all; they were complements. Still, when I parent in the day-to-day, it’s easy to slip into the old thinking: “Am I softening him too much?” or “Am I pushing him to be too hard?” Every time I ask those questions, I have to stop and remind myself that parenting isn’t about raising an extreme, it’s about raising balance. And balance will always feel like tension. “Perfectly balanced, as all things should be." – Thanos before wiping out a planet. Sorry, I cannot say balance anymore without thinking of Thanos. **Inevitable** The truth is, kindness and strength aren’t opposites. They’re partners. Strength without kindness will become harshness. Kindness without strength can become passiveness. What I want is to raise kids who can carry both naturally. To me, that looks like resilience and empathy; a backbone that doesn’t bend under pressure and a heart that notices when others are hurting. They show up in real-life decisions, like whether my son stands up for a playmate or my daughter tells a friend “That’s not okay” when boundaries are crossed. I want them to learn that there’s nothing weak about kindness and nothing cruel about strength especially for themselves. That combination, I think, is what makes someone truly steady in a world that often feels confusing. And the sooner they learn to see kindness as an expression of strength, the less conflict they’ll feel when those moments inevitably come. "I am inevitable." –Thanos before destroying half the Marvel Universe. Sorry, apparently inevitable also makes me think of Thanos. **Lessons in the Small Moments** I’ve noticed it isn’t about one “big talk” where I sit them down and explain the balance. It’s in the small, ordinary moments. When my son gets upset at his sister and I remind him, “You can be mad, but you can’t be mean.” I literally say this about 100 times a day to him. When my daughter feels left out and I encourage her to join the group herself instead of waiting to be invited. When they see me apologize after I lose my patience, because strength also looks like admitting you messed up (I’m told, I have yet to ever mess up) (Sorry, that’s carry over from my last blog). Sometimes I underestimate how much these little moments matter, but then I’ll overhear my kids encouraging each other using the same words I gave them. It’s a reminder that they don’t just hear what I say; they carry it forward in ways I may never see. **Modeling What Matters** The hardest part is remembering they’re always watching. If I want my kids to grow up kind and strong, I have to model both. That means showing them I can lift weights in the garage and comfort a crying toddler. That I can run miles on a tough day and let them see my softness at bedtime when I tuck them in with my Dada voice. And it means admitting when I get it wrong, because my failures are just as much lessons as my victories. My kids don’t need a perfect example, they need an honest one. **Where Strength and Kindness Are Tested** What makes this balance tricky is that life doesn’t separate kindness and strength into neat categories. They collide in messy situations: when a friend says something cruel, when they strike out, when someone takes advantage of their generosity. In those moments, the lines blur, and my kids need to know they don’t have to choose one lesson over the other. They can stand firm while still extending grace. They can set boundaries without shutting people out. They can walk away from someone who disrespects them and still hope that person learns. These moments are where kindness and strength are tested, not in theory, but in practice. **Looking Ahead** I think often about the adults my kids will become. Will my son know that tears don’t make him less of a man? Will my daughter know that boundaries don’t make her less kind? I hope so. Because if they can hold onto both strength and kindness, they’ll be prepared for whatever this world throws at them. They’ll be the kind of people who not only endure but also build others up. And that’s the bigger picture here: it’s not just about my son or my daughter. It’s about raising humans who do better than we did. That’s one of the few things I am absolutely sure of. I look around at all the nonsense going on and this balance isn’t just something we teach our kids, it’s something we all need to relearn. As adults, we lean way too far toward strength without softness, or kindness without courage. We can all benefit from a reminder that both belong. My kids may be young, but the lessons I hope to give them are the ones I still need myself. I said before parenting has a way of holding up a mirror, and in that reflection I see where I’m strong and where I need more gentleness. **The Bigger Picture** Raising boys (and girls) isn’t about choosing between toughness or tenderness. It’s about showing them that real strength makes room for kindness, and real kindness requires strength. They don’t need to pick one, they can grow into both. This may feel conflicting at times, but the more we aware of it the easier it will be. To me writing this blog is how I try to be aware of it and I hope reading it helps you be aware of it. **Thank You** Thank you for taking the time to read and just help me get my thoughts out. Every social media comment, email, and story you share back keeps me encouraged to keep writing and reflecting. If this post clicked with you, I’d love to hear your thoughts, email me anytime at savepointdad@gmail.com. And if you think someone else would benefit from reading this, please share it out. If you do, let me know, I can't think of anything that would make me happier. Okay, that's not true there are a lot of things that would make me happier but you get what I mean. \-SavePointDad ### Kids Don’t Tune Into Lectures. They Stream Replays. URL: https://savepointdad.com/kids-dont-tune-into-lectures-they-stream-replays/ Last updated: 2025-08-18T14:52:22.000Z I was very surprised by the response to my last post, “[When the Mirror Looks Back at You and Tells You Shhhhhh](https://savepointdad.com/when-the-mirror-looks-back-at-you-and-tells-you-shhhhhh/)”. To be honest, I was just surprised I got a response lol. It was the first time I actually got emails from readers, not just comments or likes, but emails in my inbox (SavePointDad@gmail.com). It’s a first for me, and honestly, it’s just so cool. I also heard from people on social media who said it resonated so much. It had them reflecting on their own parenting, others said it reminded them of how much their kids really are watching, especially in the small, quiet moments we don’t notice, but they sure do. That feedback stuck with me, and it made me want to expand the idea a little further. Last time I focused on how our kids learn from how we treat and speak to them. This blog is about how they are learning just as much, probably even more to be honest, from how we treat the people closest to us, especially inside our own homes. ## **The Classroom Called Home** My wife and I bicker and argue just like anyone else. And just like any other kid, my daughter watches. It’s funny because she will pretend to play but is actually listening, just soaking it all in. She isn’t listening for the details, she pays attention to how we talk to each other. Every sigh, every gesture, every change in our tone silently teaches her what marriage looks like, what partnership means, and what love feels like when it’s under pressure. Whether we like it or not, every time we argue it's teaching kids how disagreement works. They’re not just learning from how I treat them. They’re learning from how I treat the people I love most. That is both heavy and freeing at the same time. Heavy, because it means they will model how I treat others. Freeing, because it means they will model how I treat others. The home is a classroom, and unfortunately (for them and us lol), we’re the teachers. Every parent says, “Kids are always watching”; I pretty much wrote my last blog about that. We usually mean it when we’re talking about habits: they see what we eat, they see if we exercise, they notice if we’re glued to our phone. But their observations go beyond the surface habits and routines. They’re studying our patterns, the way we show patience, the way we react under stress, the way we treat people. What we call normal behavior and speaking tone is becoming their definition of normal as well. But here’s the bigger truth: home is their first classroom for relationships. Every smile, every sigh, every eye roll, every hug, it all adds up to the story they’re writing in their own minds about how people are supposed to treat each other. They’re taking notes on how we argue, how we forgive, and how we carry ourselves when life gets messy. You and I might think the little moments don’t matter, but for kids, those little moments are the big lessons. We don’t get to choose if we’re teaching. We only get to choose what we’re teaching. That’s the part that stings sometimes. If I come home grumpy and short with everyone, that’s a lesson. If I’m gentle and patient even when I’m tired, that’s also a lesson. There’s no pause button on their observation, they’re learning in real time, all the time. ## **Disagreements as a Model** No household, friendship, or partnership is free from arguments. Disagreements are going to happen, about money, dishes, bedtime, placing the wrong fast food order (I said it correctly, Jack-In-Box got it wrong), the list goes on and on. But while we often think of arguments as private, in a home with kids, nothing is private. They notice the sharp tones, eye rolling, or the way we don’t respond at all. They’re internalizing whether disagreements are about winning or about resolution. But kids don’t just hear the words. They absorb the tone, the body language, and the aftermath. They see if we storm off without resolving anything, or if we circle back and try again. They see if we lower our voices or raise them. Even silence is a teacher, walking away after saying your final words teaches them something different than pausing to breathe and coming back to finish the conversation. The way I handle disagreements with my wife is a live demonstration for my kids. If they see us disagree, apologize, and still hug afterward, they’ll understand that love isn’t fragile. It reaffirms to them no matter what they do they are loved in our home. Disagreements don’t destroy relationships; disrespect does. And when I blow it, because I do (I have been told I do from time to time, but to me it’s still open for debate), apologizing in front of them teaches them that parents aren’t above humility. In fact, some of the most powerful lessons happen not when I get it right, but when I admit I got it wrong. ## **Love Has to Be Visible** Love isn’t a theory kids can figure out on their own. If they never see it, how would they know what it looks like? How would they know what a healthy relationship is? They need love to be visible, something they can touch and point to. If love is real, it has to be part of everyday life. It’s the small, ordinary things that matter most: - Saying “thank you” instead of taking each other for granted. - Choosing patience over snapping when you’re grumpy. - Sitting close on the couch instead of always drifting to separate corners. - Having an eye-to-eye conversation rather than a conversation while scrolling on your phone (I am guilty of this, again I have been told). - Hugs in the kitchen and just touch in general. Saying “I love you” to my kids is important (My daughter at this point responds with “I know Dada, I know), but showing them how I love their mom, and how she loves me, is just as crucial. It tells them that love is not just a word; it’s a practice. It’s not just anniversaries and Valentine’s Day; it’s cleaning up after one another, running errands together, sitting close at the end of the day. Those small glimpses of love are the ones that stick. One day, when my daughter is older, I want her to expect love that looks like partnership, not performance only in front of other people. When my son grows, I want him to know love is an action, not just said once in a while. Love is complicated and messy especially when they first start entering relationships, so I want to make sure they have healthy realistic expectations of it. That’s why showing love isn’t optional. It’s essential. It’s not about pretending everything’s perfect, it’s about showing that love is strong enough to handle imperfection. When my kids see me apologize (in theory since I have never been wrong, totally joking), they learn love isn’t about ego. When they see me serve, they learn love is action. When they see me forgive, they learn my love for them won’t go away. ## **Sibling Relationships Are a Reflection** Have you ever noticed how siblings argue with each other? Sometimes I’ll hear my kids fighting in the other room, and I can almost hear my own voice echoing back, the frustration, the phrasing, even the volume. It’s uncomfortable, like hearing a recording of yourself when you didn’t know the mic was on. It’s humbling because it means that if I want to change the way my kids interact with each other, I have to change how I interact with them, I have to change the way I respond when I’m irritated with them. Kids are natural mimics, and they don’t miss a thing. If I lose my patience quickly with them, why wouldn’t they, with each other? If I default to yelling, why wouldn’t they? But the opposite is also true. When I slow down, when I speak calmly, without attitude, they see that too. And eventually, they imitate it. The more they practice it with their siblings, the more it becomes second nature in the rest of their world. ## **The Silent Lessons** Sometimes the most powerful lessons aren’t in what we say, but in what we don’t. Silence, patience, restraint, these are underrated teachers. When I bite my tongue instead of firing back, I’m showing my kids that self-control is possible. When I let a small offense slide, I’m teaching them that love doesn’t keep score. Silence, patience, restraint, these are lessons too. My kids are watching me when I decide to let something go, when I take a breath before responding. As kids their job is to push limits and unfortunately that also means mine at times. Those moments speak louder than a hundred “do as I say” speeches. And in a world where most people are quick to react, teaching restraint is a gift that will serve them far beyond childhood. ## **Save Points in Real Life** In video games, a save point gives you a chance to pause, reassess, and reset if you need to. Parenting is full of those moments too. Every argument, every mistake, every grumpy mood is followed by a chance to reset. Every time I catch myself getting frustrated, I have a chance to pause. To reset. To do better next time. And when I take that chance, my kids see not only that people fail, but that people can fix things. That’s a lesson I want them to carry: you don’t have to be perfect; you just have to be willing to try again. The good news is, kids are forgiving (maybe too much at times). They don’t need perfect parents. They just need parents who are willing to own mistakes and be there. Parenting’s ‘Save Point’ isn’t perfection. It’s the moments we get to evaluate and change our response to when they happen again (they will). ## **Parenting Is Leadership** Parenting is leadership in its truest form. We are leaders now and that is hard and in reality, terrifying. Leadership isn’t about being in charge; it’s about setting the tone. The way I carry myself as a dad sets the emotional climate of my home. And leadership always starts with example, not orders. Think about past bosses. What made them good or bad? Usually the best ones created an environment you wanted to be in. If I want my kids to lead with respect in their future classrooms, workplaces, and families, I have to model it here first. My leadership is lived out in bedtime routines, dinner table conversations, and Saturday morning when we are just relaxing together. It’s not glamorous, but it can set the tone for how they treat those they love. The home is the first place kids learn what it means to love and be loved, to disagree and still stay connected, to treat people with respect even when emotions are high. Because at the end of the day, my kids aren’t just watching how I live. They’re watching how I love. And that’s the kind of lesson that can outlast me. ***If this blog connected with you, if you saw yourself in it, I’d be grateful if you subscribed. Even more than that, if it’s meaningful enough to share with someone you love, that would mean the world to me.*** \-SavePointDad ### When the Mirror Looks Back at You and Tells You “Shhhhhh” URL: https://savepointdad.com/when-the-mirror-looks-back-at-you-and-tells-you-shhhhhh/ Last updated: 2025-08-12T03:26:18.000Z **The Moments You Don’t See Coming** There are moments in parenting that that you don’t see coming. I’m not talking about the kind where your kid accidentally headbutts you while climbing onto the couch (Although that sucks). But I mean the kind that makes you pause and think, Am I really the role model I think I am? It’s not about guilt as much as it is about clarity, a sudden look at yourself through the eyes of the small humans you’re raising. And that is uncomfortable, because it doesn’t care about your excuses or how good your intentions were. **A Calculator Becomes a Reality Check** For me, one of those moments came this weekend in the form of a calculator. Just a cheap pink large calculator my wife uses that my son turned into a reality check. Parenting has this funny way of taking the most ordinary situations and turning them into something that sticks with you for life. It was a Sunday morning and my son was sitting on the floor, completely lost in his own world. Any parent knows that kind of quiet is a gift. I watched him, noticing how carefully he was hitting the buttons, his little face seriously concentrating. His fingers were tapping at the buttons and I asked, “What are you doing my man?” expecting some story about dinosaurs. Without even looking at me, he waved his hand in my direction to shoo me away and said, “Shhhh, I’m in a meeting.” He didn’t smile at all or even look at me. And just like that, I knew exactly where he got that from. He’d seen it before, seen it from me. It didn’t feel good. **“When Did You See Me Do This?”** I once read a line that said, “Whenever my kids act rude, before getting angry, I ask them when did you see me do this?” I wish I could remember where I read it but cannot recall for the life of me. In that moment, I didn’t just hear his words. I heard myself. I saw my gestures. I felt my tone; the exact one I use when I’m on a Zoom call and one of my kids interrupts me. **Why I Started This** Moments like this are exactly why I started SavePointDad. It wasn’t just to share stories about fatherhood, fitness, or gaming; it was to give myself time to find a save point and actually think about what I’m doing as a parent. Writing these moments down forces me to slow down and ask questions I don't want to ask. Sometimes those questions sting, but they’re the ones that help me do better. **The Mirror You Can’t Adjust** Looking in a literal mirror is easy, well usually. You fix your hair and go about your day. Looking into a living, breathing mirror that’s your child is something else. You’re seeing a reflection of your behavior, and sometimes that reflection isn’t what we want to see. We like to explain away our kids’ behavior: they’re tired, they’re going through a phase, they picked it up from YouTube, sometimes that’s true. But most of the time, the explanation is a lot simpler. They learned it from us. **They’re Always Watching** Kids are observers. They pick up on the smallest habits, the way you sigh, the exact words you mutter under your breath when traffic is bad, the way you say goodbye. They aren’t just watching; they’re cataloging every damn thing. And then, without warning, they’ll try out what they’ve learned. It’s not just my son who mirrors me. A few months ago, I overheard my daughter playing with her dolls. She had them lined up in a perfect row, pacing in front of them like a tiny dictator. Then she said, in my exact tone, “Are you serious? This needs to stop.” That’s something I say when I’m frustrated. She wasn’t making fun of me, she was taking my words and using them in her own little world. It made me realize that the things I repeat, even the ones I think aren’t sinking in, are sticking. **Patterns, Not Context** We all have excuses. Work has been stressful. I’m tired. They know I didn’t mean it. But kids don’t see context, they see patterns. If I regularly shush them while I’m focused; they learn that this is how you respond when you’re busy. They don’t separate Dada on a deadline from Dada at home, they just see me. And that becomes part of their toolkit. **Owning the Moments** So, what do I do about it? I can’t erase every imperfect moment, but I can own them. I can call myself out when I mess up: “Sorry, I wasn’t listening. Can you say that again?” I can explain my actions: “I’m in a meeting right now, but I want to hear what you’re saying as soon as I’m done.” I can make an effort to model the kind of patience I want them to have, even when they’re asking me the same question for the millionth time. **The Good Stuff Sticks Too** The funny thing is, not all mirror moments are bad. Sometimes they’re exactly the encouragement I need. I’ve seen my son share his last bite because he’s watched me do it. I’ve heard my daughter say “It’s okay to be scared” to her brother. Those moments remind me that the good stuff sticks also. The challenge is making sure there’s more of that good stuff to copy than the moments I wish they wouldn’t repeat. **Parenting Is a Long Game** Parenting is a long game. Every habit I model now is shaping the adult my child will become. I’m going to mess up. You’re going to mess up. The mirror will always be there. And if I’m intentional, I’ll like more and more of what I see. ### Some People Just Have It. I Never Have. URL: https://savepointdad.com/some-people-just-have-it-i-never-have/ Last updated: 2025-08-05T15:18:08.000Z ### **Always trying to keep up** I used to get frustrated, I mean really frustrated, by how some people seem to glide through life powered by natural talent. You know the ones: they pick up new skills on the first try, never had to study, and can just “wing it” and still win. Meanwhile, I was the guy making flashcards, rehearsing speeches alone in my car (even adding notes when to studder), and Googling “free printable worksheets” on weekends. I saw it as a flaw, like I had to work twice as hard just to keep up. It was frustrating, and honestly, it took a toll on my confidence. But over the years, I’ve learned something important, something that’s changed how I see myself, and how I raise my kids. ### **Running My Own Race** A recent example is my wife can lace up her shoes, head out the door, and run a half marathon with no training. Me? If I don’t follow a training plan with intervals, recovery runs, tempo days; I barely improve. I used to think that meant something was wrong with me, like I wasn’t built for performance. But over time, I started to appreciate the structure, the discipline, and the rhythm. That process, especially measuring it, became something I enjoyed. The tracking, the pacing, the daily commitment, it all became less about catching up to others and more about becoming better than I was yesterday. When you let go of comparing yourself to others, especially those who can just wing it, you gain a kind of peace. That mental shift made running more sustainable and more fun. That mindset became part of other aspects of my life, especially parenting. ### **When Speaking Isn't Easy** Public speaking is another place where natural talent always seemed to shine for other people. My coworker can be called on with zero prep and give a presentation so smoothly you’d think he was prepping for it for weeks. Meanwhile, I spend hours scripting, revising, rehearsing during my commute, recording myself on my phone, and still manage to miss key points. Over time each speech was just a little easier than the last. That growth didn’t come from talent; it came from repetition. And that extra effort started to matter in a way that talent couldn’t match. I wasn’t just learning what to say, I was learning how to say it, when to pause, how to engage. That kind of skill, built from deliberate practice, started to feel more reliable than talent alone. I began to trust my preparation, and that trust turned into confidence. ### **How I Parent Differently Now** That’s a lesson I bring into fatherhood all the time. When my kids are struggling with something new, tying their shoes (what we are currently working on), catching a ball, reading a tricky word, I don’t rush in and fix it. I remind them it’s okay to practice. That not being good yet isn’t failure, it’s just the start. I tell them what I wish someone told me more often: “You’re not behind. You’re just learning.” ### **The Stubborn Student** Back in college there was this guy in my class who never took notes, never studied, and basically seemed to absorb knowledge. I, on the other hand, was the worksheet king. If there were YouTube videos, I would watch them all. If there was a study guide, I filled it out twice. I wasn’t the smartest guy in the room, but I might’ve been the most stubborn. That stubbornness got me through more tests than I can count. ### **The Batman Mindset** I’m sorry but I have to add a nerdy example. Well actually I’m not sorry, this is my blog . Let’s look at Batman. He’s one of the most iconic heroes of all time, but unlike Superman or Spider-Man, he has no superpowers. Just a regular guy with a purpose, and an absolutely relentless work ethic. He’s also the richest man in the world but let’s look past that for now lol. Batman is a hero not because things came easy, but because he made the choice to train, to study, to prepare for every possible outcome. He took pain and turned it into purpose. That’s what makes him so powerful and so relatable. He’s proof that greatness doesn’t have to be born it can be built ### **What I Gained From Struggling** Back then, I thought that made me less, that needing to work so hard meant I wasn’t naturally smart. But looking back, it taught me one of the most valuable skills I have today: how to learn. I didn’t just memorize, I built systems. Now, as a Dad, I get to pass that mindset on. And I try to model that effort every day and look for ways that my kids learn and understand best. ### **Parenting: The Ultimate Test** It turns out that parenting itself is the ultimate “practice over talent” arena. No one is a naturally perfect parent, no matter what social media tells you. Every part of being a Dad requires learning, adjusting, messing up, and trying again. The fact that I was never naturally gifted in other areas makes me better prepared for this. I already know how to keep going when something’s hard, hell, at this point I look forward to it. ### **How I Support My Kids** Here’s the wild part: now that I’m a Dad, I see how valuable my struggles have been. I’m more patient and more empathetic because of all those hours I spent falling short and trying again. When my kids try something and get discouraged, when they feel like they’re not enough, I don’t say, “Come on, that should be easy.” I say, “It’s okay to be bad at something when you’re just starting. Let’s practice together.” They don’t need a perfect Dad. One who shows them how to keep going. ### **Modeling Grit, Not Perfection** This approach changes everything, not just for them but for me. I no longer chase being the best, I chase being consistent. And with every attempt, whether I succeed or not, I’m modeling something more important than talent: grit. Grit isn’t glamorous. It doesn’t always win trophies. But it does build character, connection, and long-term success. ### **Trying Counts** I’ve even started celebrating effort more visibly in front of my kids. I’ll say out loud, “This was hard for me, but I’m proud I didn’t give up.” Whether I’m working out, starting this blog, cooking a cake that flops, or fixing something around the house, I want them to see that trying counts. That real life isn’t about looking effortless, it’s about showing up. Every. Single. Day. ### **The Legacy I Want to Leave** Natural talent might be impressive, but perseverance is contagious. And in the long run, it’s the ones who keep going that inspire the most. Not because it came easy, but because they chose to keep trying when it didn’t. That’s the story I’m writing. That’s the legacy I want to leave. And that’s the message I hope my kids carry long after I’m gone. ### **Because It’s Hard** There’s a famous quote from President John F. Kennedy that’s always stood out to me “We choose to go to the moon in this decade and do the other things, not because they are easy, but because they are hard.” That line hits different now. Choosing to try, over and over again, is hard. We grow and we parent not because it’s easy… but because it’s worth it. \-SavePointDad ### My Kids Are My Workout Partners. URL: https://savepointdad.com/my-kids-are-my-workout-partners/ Last updated: 2025-07-29T15:46:38.000Z **They See More Than You Think** I like to say my kids are my workout partners. They don’t count reps. They don’t correct my form. They’re not logging their macros or spotting me on bench day. Most of the time, they just sit on the makeshift “chairs” they made in the garage, devour Goldfish crackers, and ask me multiple times a minute if I'm done yet. And honestly? I love it (most of the time). Them being there, even if distracting or too loud at times, still feels like accountability, and that keeps me going. **Watching Effort, Not Perfection** They see the sweat, the grunts, the part where I pause halfway through to say, “Don’t touch that, it’s heavy,” and the part where I finish, exhausted but proud. They’re not doing the work with me, but they’re learning from it. And that’s what’s important. The lessons of trying hard, importance of practice, and effort are not absorbed through lectures but through what they see day in and day out. Every time I go to the garage to work out or set up in the living room to do Yoga, at least one of them wanders in. Usually, they’ll mimic me with a wobbly squat or their attempt at a pushup. But most of the time, they just watch. Silently. Curiously. And at first, I thought they’re bored. Until one day, my son said to my daughter while holding a can of corn, “This is heavy. I working out like Dada.” That sentence stuck with me. They aren’t tuning out, they’re tuning in. **Fitness and Fatherhood Fit Together** Let’s be real, fitting workouts into dad life isn’t smooth, or into any life really. You don’t just say “I’m hitting the gym” without running a mini logistics operation. Spills, sibling fights, snack requests; it all hits right before your warmup. At first, I worked out around them out of necessity. Now? I choose to. There’s something special about doing yoga while your toddler lines up trucks next to your mat. Or riding the Peloton as they say they will ride with you in their toy car. It’s not a gym; it’s a space where movement is normal. **They’re Learning Even When They’re Playing** In those moments, I’m not just building strength; I’m building memories. Fitness becomes a part of normal life. It’s not an option or choice; it’s something you just do. Like brushing teeth or reading before bed, it becomes a ritual. One they might not fully understand yet, but one that’ll shape how they care for themselves later. It’s not about pressure, it’s about exposure. Some days, it’s all comedy. I’ve had a kid climb my back mid-plank. I once did yoga while my daughter recording the whole practice. “And now Dada is going to say Whew, that was a tough workout. Hit the button to subscribe.” She went through a phase where she would say that all the time. It always cracked me up. There are the days I laugh more than I work out. But they’re still worth it. **The Interruptions Are Part of the Process** I’ve paused workouts to clean up spills, help them with the potty, or referee toy negotiations. But I come back. Even if I only finish half of what I planned, it still counts. Because showing up counts. Especially when it’s hard. Especially when they see you doing it anyway. There’s this idea that sticks with me: kids don’t do what we say, they do what we do. I can tell them to be strong. But when they see me *struggle* and *persist*, that’s where the real lessons live. They’re always watching, even when they pretend they’re not. To be honest, that’s when they are probably watching most. It’s not about raising athletes. It’s about raising aware kids. My daughter once asked, “Why do you work out so much?” I told her, “So I can keep picking you up.” She smiled and said, “I’m getting heavier, huh? I hope you can forever." Do I want abs? Duh. But mostly, I want to last. I want to chase my kids, hike with them, and wrestle my grandkids someday. That’s why I train. For endurance. For energy. For presence. There was a day I almost skipped. Work was draining, dishes were piled high, and all I wanted was to relax. Then my son said, “Dada, are you going to workout?” I didn’t crush that workout. But I showed up. Because sometimes your kid reminds you who you are, and that’s stronger than any alarm clock. **Some Things You Do, Even When You Don't Want To** That’s what I want to show my kids: health isn’t about perfect streaks. It’s about staying in the game, coming back to what matters, and trying even when you don’t want to. I don’t force fitness on them. There are no “10 jumping jacks before iPad” rules. I just let them see it. I let them be around it. To know that fitness isn’t some mysterious, extreme thing, it’s normal. It’s part of life. Just like reading, or playing, or brushing teeth. Maybe one day they’ll say, “Dada, can I work out with you?” And I’ll smile and say, “You already have been.” Because even when they’re just watching with Oreos in hand, they’re absorbing something powerful. They’re learning what it means to try. What it means to care for your body. What it means to keep showing up. **Final Thoughts: They Don’t Just Watch; They Remember EVERYTHING** There’s a quote I love: “Children don’t need a perfect parent. They need a present one.” And I’d add: a persistent one. So yeah, my kids are my workout partners. They don’t lift weights. They don’t do cardio. But they watch. And they remember. And that’s enough. \-SavePointDad ### When Spinning in the Aisle Means Everything Is Right URL: https://savepointdad.com/when-spinning-in-the-aisle-means-everything-is-right/ Last updated: 2025-11-02T16:30:18.000Z The other day, I was at the grocery store with my daughter when she suddenly broke into a full-blown dance routine in the middle of the ice cream section, arms out, giggling, completely unaware of the glances around her. My first instinct was to hush her, to make her “behave,” to blend in like all the other quiet shoppers. But then I realized something at that moment: she wasn’t being “bad.” She was being free. Her body was saying, *“I feel good, I feel loved, and I’m not worried what anyone thinks.”* It hit me, kids don’t twirl like that when they’re afraid. They spin and dance when they feel safe. Children aren’t silly, loud, or wiggly just for the sake of chaos. Usually. They’re like that because they trust that they won’t be punished for showing joy. Safe kids are loud kids. Safe kids ask random questions and sing off-key. Because it means our presence gives them room to be themselves. That spin in the aisle? That was trust. That was my daughter saying, “I know I’m loved even when I’m being different.” And isn’t that what we all want, to move through the world knowing we can be real and still be accepted? Her silliness wasn’t a cry for attention, it was a quiet celebration of emotional security. She wasn’t performing, she was being. ### **The Loudest Kids Are Often the Most Secure** We spend a lot of time as adults trying to manage our kids' behavior in public, keeping them quiet in restaurants, telling them to stop bouncing in line, asking them to “use their inside voices.” And yes, there’s a time and place for teaching respect and boundaries. But when we constantly correct their silliness or noise just to make them more tolerable to strangers, we risk dimming their light. We may be teaching them that conformity matters more than connection. That being accepted is better than being real. Of course, we want to raise kind, respectful humans who understand context. But we don’t have to raise silent, obedient ones in the process. If we’re always muting them out of our own discomfort or fear of judgment, what are we really modeling? That other people’s opinions matter more than our child's joy? We can't let our adult insecurities stop their playfulness. Because if we do, they’ll start to believe that their natural self is “too much.” And one day, they’ll stop spinning, singing, and shouting your name with excitement, not because they grew up, but because they shrank down. That’s not growth. That’s fear. ### **Silliness Is Emotional Safety in Action** Being silly means a child isn’t bracing for emotional harm. It means they’re not walking on eggshells or scared to mess up. It’s their version of saying, “I feel okay in my skin right now.” That’s no small thing. If a child can laugh freely and play without self-consciousness, they’re showing you that their internal world feels stable. Kids who feel unsafe are often quiet, careful, or people pleasing. Not because they’re naturally serious, but because they’re learning to survive emotionally. So when a kid is acting wild and joyful? Celebrate it. That’s a win for them and you. Our job isn’t to crush the chaos, it’s to hold space for it. It's hard I know. We can teach them the “when” and “where” of behavior without making them feel ashamed of the “who.” ### **Our Reactions Shape Their Voice** Our reactions to these moments are teaching moments, for *us*. When we respond to our child’s joy with embarrassment or harshness, we’re telling them that their joy is too much. That their personality needs to be brought down. Over time, they learn to shrink themselves to make others more comfortable. But when we respond with patience, with curiosity, or even with laughter, we teach them that their voice matters. That joy belongs. That they don’t need to apologize for simply being excited to exist. We’re not just raising kids. We’re building future adults. Adults who will either know how to speak up and show up, or who will constantly check themselves to make sure they’re not being “too loud.” I don’t want my daughter to spend her life whispering. ### **This Won’t Last Forever. Let It Happen Now** There will come a day when our kids *won’t* want to spin in public anymore. When they’ll be more concerned about how they look, how they sound, and how others perceive them. That innocence, that raw joy, has an expiration date, and we don’t get to know when it is. So let them be little. Let them be loud. Let them be silly. The world is going to try to tame them soon enough. They’ll hear “be quiet,” “grow up,” “don’t be weird” from plenty of places. We don’t need to be one of them. Our homes and our arms should be where they get to exhale. And when they look back on their childhood, I want them to remember that mom and dad didn’t flinch when they were loud. That we didn’t shush their joy just because a stranger gave us side eye. I want them to know we *saw* them and we celebrated it. ### **Celebrate the Safe Spaces We Create** They won’t just remember that we gave them snacks and drove them to school. They’ll remember that we laughed when they danced like weirdos. That we joined them. That we didn’t make them feel like a burden for being kids. So yes, let your kid spin. Let them make up words, tell nonsense stories, and sing out loud. Let them feel, truly feel, that who they are is never too much. ### **Dad Mode: Learning to Embrace the Messy Magic** As a dad, I’ve had to unlearn some of the lessons I learned growing up like the idea that "good" parenting means control and order. But real connection doesn’t grow out of control; it grows out of presence. It grows when we pause to actually *see* our kids in their full, silly, chaotic glory. And that’s hard sometimes, I would even say impossible at times. Especially when we’re tired or feeling judged by the outside world. But I don’t want to be the dad who teaches my kid how to stay quiet just to survive. I want to be the dad who teaches her how to be bold and kind, loud and loving, silly and safe, all at the same time. That means I have to get comfortable with a little chaos. With letting go of how it *looks*, and focusing on how it *feels*, for her and for me. That’s the real game I’m trying to level up in. ### **The Real Save Point** In video games, a save point is where you rest, recharge, and return to when things get tough. That’s what I want to be for my daughter. I want her to know that no matter what level she’s on, no matter how weird or wild she gets, she can always come back to me and feel safe. Not just when she’s calm or well-behaved, but *especially* when she’s spinning in every sense of the word. \-SavePointDad ### Why I Ask So Many Open‑Ended Questions. URL: https://savepointdad.com/why-i-ask-so-many-open-ended-questions-and-why-its-on-purpose/ Last updated: 2025-11-02T16:27:01.000Z *Because growth starts where certainty ends.* ### **Curiosity Is a Mirror** If you’ve hung around Save Point Dad for more than a post or two, you’ve seen me ask questions that have no neat, Googleable answers: *“Am I doing this right?”* *“How do I manage my time?”* *“Why do I lose my patience faster some days than others?”* These aren’t just hooky intros—they’re mirrors. When I ask, *“Why do I lose patience?”* I’m naming it before it names me. That single beat of curiosity turns a reaction into a choice. Self‑awareness doesn’t start with a solution; it starts with honest observation. **The Map Fills In as You Go** Video‑game logic tempts us to hunt for definitive walkthroughs: three secrets to perfect parenting, five steps to six‑pack abs, a fitness trick nobody knows. Real life is more chaotic, new room, new enemies, no extra lives. Open‑ended questions keep me agile: - **Fitness:** “What feels *strong* today?” Some mornings it’s squats; other mornings it’s a walk while my daughter scooters beside me. - **Plant & Animal Dad Life:** “What does this creature/leaf need right now?” The answer changes with the seasons, just like with kids. - **Mental Health:** “When was the last time I played just for me?” That one usually reminds me to dust off *Hades* at 9 p.m. instead of doom‑scrolling. By refusing to lock in a single answer, I stay ready to pivot when life nerfs my best‑laid plans. **Questions Create Community** Here’s an underrated superpower of open‑ended questions: they invite multiple players to pick up a controller. If I were to post, *“Dads, what’s your secret for staying present during homework time?”* I would get everything from mindfulness tips to zombie‑apocalypse humor in the comments. Suddenly it’s not just *my* journey, it’s group therapy. That dialog loops back into my own growth. I learn that one dad sets a kitchen timer for “undivided‑attention mode”; another keeps a “distraction notebook” to park random thoughts. Their answers deepen my own. ### **From Self‑Awareness to Self‑Alignment** Awareness without action is intel that never gets uploaded. Once a question surfaces a blind spot, I run it through a three‑step filter: 1. **Name it:** *“I’m tired every evening by 7.”* 2. **Frame it:** *“What story am I telling about that fatigue?”* (e.g., “I’m lazy,” “My kids drain me,” “Work owns me.”) 3. **Aim it:** *“What tiny experiment could test a different story?”* Maybe I swap a late‑afternoon cold brew for decaf, or I schedule strength workouts at lunch instead of 6 p.m. Small experiments add up. Six weeks later, the original question morphs into something richer: *“How can I protect this 7 p.m. energy win?”* ### **The Willingness to Be Wrong** Open‑ended questions force me to admit I might be mistaken, about diet, about parenting philosophies, about which *Zelda* is objectively the greatest (hint: Ocarina of Time). That humility is liberating. When I’m not chained to being right, feedback stops feeling like criticism and starts feeling like character growth. Next time someone challenges your take, resist the urge to rebut. Ask, “What led you to see it that way?” You just unlocked a data cache you didn’t have before. ### **Guardrails for Endless Inquiry** Yes, curiosity can spiral into analysis paralysis. Here’s how I keep my questioning productive instead of paralyzing: - **Write, Don’t Ruminate:** Journaling/Blogging externalizes loops so they don’t echo in my skull at 2 a.m. - **Set a Decision Threshold:** Define what “enough info” looks like *before* I start researching (“Three credentialed sources or 30 minutes, whichever comes first”). - **Ship It:** Post, publish, or press start even if the answer feels 80 percent baked. Iteration > perfection. ### **Because My Kids Are Watching** One of the most powerful motivators for asking better questions is the realization that I’m not the only one impacted by my thinking habits. My kids are soaking in the way I handle uncertainty. They hear me say, *“I don’t know, let’s figure it out,”* or *“That’s a great question—what do you think?”* These are micro-moments that teach them curiosity is a strength, not a weakness. If I model certainty at all costs, they’ll feel pressured to always have the “right” answer. But if I model curiosity and reflection, they’ll feel free to explore, fail, and grow. The kind of parent I want to be is one who lives his questions out loud, not because I want attention, but because I want to make asking feel normal, safe, and even fun. ### **Because Stillness Requires Practice** We live in a world that rewards hot takes, fast answers, and instant feedback. Open-ended questions slow everything down. They’re uncomfortable at first. They demand that I sit with silence, with tension, with not knowing. But stillness is where truth lives. When I pause to ask something deeper, I’m pushing back against the urge to react on autopilot. I’m practicing presence. Not perfection, just presence. A lot of the growth I’ve experienced this past year: physically, mentally, relationally, started in those quiet, question-filled moments where nothing “productive” was happening, but everything meaningful was. ### **Because Growth Has No Final Form** You don’t “complete” personal development like a game. There’s no cinematic at the end of the level where I’m handed a certificate for mastering patience, presence, or purpose. Growth is iterative. It loops back on itself. Just when I think I’ve handled my anger better, it shows up in a new form. Just when I feel in control of my time, a toddler sleep regression changes the rules. Open-ended questions are how I stay flexible. They help me adapt instead of break. They give me language for things I’m still learning how to feel. And they remind me that evolving is part of the deal, I don’t need to apologize for not being who I was six months ago. I just need to keep asking what’s next. ### **Bringing It Home** I ask so many open‑ended questions because they keep my edges soft and my center strong. They remind me that life, as a gamer, a dad, a husband, isn’t a level you beat. It’s a world you explore. So here’s my not‑so‑secret agenda: every time you see a question in my feed, I hope it nudges you to pause your scroll and point the lens inward for a beat. If it helps you notice one blind spot, one buried dream, one hidden strength; mission accomplished. Because the asking itself is the SavePoint. It’s the checkpoint where we breathe, assess, and choose our next move with a little more intention than before. ### Press Start: What It's Been Like Starting This Page Reflections on building SavePointDad, one post and one follower at a time. URL: https://savepointdad.com/press-start-what-its-been-like-starting-this-page-reflections-on-building-savepointdad-one-post-and-one-follower-at-a-time/ Last updated: 2025-11-02T16:21:16.000Z ***First off — thank you. I have just hit 100 Instagram followers.*** Whether you’ve been here since the beginning (4 weeks ago lol) or just stumbled in today, I’m grateful you’re part of this little experiment. Starting *SavePointDad.com* has been a journey full of learning curves, new online tools, and real conversations. It’s a space where fitness, fatherhood, and gaming collide. I’m building it as I go. **Why I Started This Page** I didn’t create this page to be an expert. I’m not a coach. I’m not a six-figure content creator. I’m a dad who plays games, lifts weights, runs, and sometimes forgets what day it is. There wasn’t really a space, that I know of, where all of that could live together. So, I made one. It sometimes feels like I am talking to a wall. Only a few followers. No engagement. Just me posting and wondering, *“Does this even matter?”* And honestly? It mattered to me by giving me time to slow down and think. Literally, just think. **What’s has worked** Here’s what’s helped me get my first 100 followers. - **Consistency > Perfection**: I post, even if it’s not perfect. I don’t think my content will ever be perfect. - **Real > Polished**: The raw posts do better than the overly curated ones. - **Talk to People**: I reply to DMs and comments because I genuinely care. - **Stay in My Lane**: Fitness, gaming, and dad life — that’s the formula. **The Rollercoaster of Growth** Follower growth is weird. Some days I gain. Some days I lose. Some posts people read. Most are ignored. Here’s the mindset I try to keep: Make content you’d want to see. Don’t chase numbers; build connection. Let growth slowly but surely. **Challenges I Didn’t Expect** - **Imposter syndrome**: “Why would anyone listen to me?” - **Cost**: Costs add up to host and maintain this website. - **Privacy boundaries**: Sharing parts of my life without oversharing. But I keep going because messages like *“This helped”* or *“Same here, man”* remind me it’s worth it. **The Mental Side of Sharing Online** One of the most unexpected parts of running this page has been the internal dialogue. Every time I hit “post,” there’s a voice in my head asking if it’s dumb, if anyone will care, if I’m oversharing. But what I’ve learned is that those moments of hesitation are usually where the good stuff lives. The vulnerability, the awkwardness, the imperfection, those are the posts that people connect with. We’re all just trying to figure it out, and sometimes seeing someone else say it out loud or write it, is all it takes to feel less alone. **Balancing Life and Content** Running this page happens in the in-between moments. After bedtime stories. Before work. On my phone. It’s a passion project, not a full-time job, and that’s kind of the point. I want to show that you don’t need to disappear into hustle culture or sacrifice everything to build something cool. You can carve out a space that reflects who you are, even if you only have an hour or two a week. That’s the magic of starting small and staying consistent. **What I Want This Page to Become** I’m building **SavePointDad** to be a space for: - Dads who still game. - Guys trying to get back in shape. - People figuring out health, family, and identity — one level at a time. No pressure to be perfect. Just progress. Just community. Just real talk. **Thank You** Thank you for pressing follow. Thank you for showing up. Thank you for making this page feel like more than just a personal diary. We’re still early, and that’s the exciting part. Let’s keep growing. ### Am I a Good Dad? URL: https://savepointdad.com/am-i-a-good-dad-and-why-asking-that-might-be-the-answer/ Last updated: 2025-11-02T16:19:52.000Z I’ll be honest with you, some nights after the house is quiet, the toys are put away, and the kids are finally asleep, I sit there and wonder: **“Am I doing this right?”** **“Am I a good dad?”** It’s not always easy to admit that out loud. Especially when it feels like *every other dad* has it all figured out. They're doing perfect pancake breakfasts, coaching little league, posting flex pics at 5AM with a smile and their toddler on their shoulders. Meanwhile, I’m just hoping I didn’t mess up bedtime too badly or lost my patience with them again. And honestly? That quiet voice of doubt never really goes away. **The Hidden Side of Fatherhood** The part they don’t show in most dad content is the mental weight we carry. The stuff we don’t post: - Losing patience after a long day. - Worrying if we’re too distracted. - Feeling like we’re not doing *enough,* not present enough, not playful enough No manual, no cheat codes. Just trying to raise good humans while figuring it all out as we go. But here’s what I’ve learned, especially since becoming a dad who’s also trying to work on himself: **Doubt Isn’t a Sign of Weakness—It’s a Sign You Care** We tend to think confidence is the goal. That the best dads are the ones who never hesitate, who always know what to say, who make it all look easy. But maybe that’s not the full picture. Maybe the dads who worry, who question, who *replay moments in their heads,* those are the ones who are tuned in. The ones who are willing to grow, to adjust, to admit they don’t always get it right. You don’t question your worth as a father unless you’re deeply invested in being a good one. **You Don’t Have to Be Perfect to Be Good** If you’re showing up, listening, trying, loving, and learning, you’re doing the job. It’s not about being perfect every day. It’s about being consistent over time. Your kids won’t remember every mistake. But they *will* remember if you kept showing up. They’ll remember how you held their hand when they were scared. How you said sorry when you messed up. How you turned off your game to play theirs. **Comparing Yourself Is a Trap** We all know this, but it’s worth repeating: most people show the highlight reel, not the real life. That confident dad on Instagram might have self-doubt too. He just might not talk about it. Or maybe he struggles with something totally different that you can’t see from a picture or a 10-second story. The dad journey is full of invisible battles. So, give yourself grace. You’re not a bad dad because you feel unsure sometimes. You’re not a bad dad if you’re tired, or frustrated, or taking a moment to breathe. You’re a dad who’s doing the work, even when it’s messy. **Final Thought: Keep Showing Up** That’s what this whole “Save Point Dad” idea is about. You don’t need to be perfect, you just need to *save the progress*. Learn from the hard moments. Hit pause when needed. Then load back in and try again. So, if you’re reading this and doubting yourself; don’t. Or do. But let that doubt fuel you, not freeze you. ### Welcome to SavePointDad URL: https://savepointdad.com/welcome-to-save-point-dad/ Last updated: 2025-11-02T16:17:40.000Z Hey there, and welcome to *SavePointDad. A* space for dads (and future dads) who are navigating fatherhood, fitness, and everything in between while still keeping their love for gaming alive. I started this blog because I felt like there wasn’t a place for dads like us: - We still play games when we can. - We care about our health, even if we’re squeezing workouts in during naptime. - We want to show up as better men — for our kids, our partners, and ourselves. ## Why “Save Point”? Gamers know the value of a save point, a place to pause, reflect, regroup, and prepare for what’s next. That’s what this blog is. A digital save point. Whether you’re: - trying to lose weight, - dealing with the mental load of parenting, - exploring peptides or supplements, - finding balance between screen time and playtime, - or just trying to not burn out... You’ve got a checkpoint here. ## What to Expect Every week, I’ll be sharing: - Real dad moments; the funny, the hard, the wins. - Gaming reflections and reviews from a parent’s perspective. - My fitness journey (with honest updates, not six-pack promises). - Thoughts on how to be present, grow stronger, and level up. This isn’t a highlight reel. This is the side quest you didn’t know you needed. ## Join the Party If you’re a dad (or someone who just vibes with the mission), I hope you’ll follow along. Subscribe, or just lurk quietly, you’re welcome here. Let’s build something real, one save point at a time. Stay strong **– SavePointDad**