Solo Parenting as a Dad, When Your Wife Leaves for a Work Trip (Vacation)

I could have been really dramatic and scroll stopping with the title but decided to chill out and add the second half. My wife just left for a work trip, and this one is way longer than usual.  

Technically, yes, it’s a work trip. But I like to call it what it really is, which is a God Damn work vacation. She’s staying in basically five-star hotels, eating at Michelin-star restaurants, and has activities planned the entire time. I’m not saying she’s not working, but she's not exactly stressing out either. Okay, I am saying she's not working. Meanwhile, at my job, I’m genuinely excited when they buy me a Subway sandwich and I can add cheese. That’s the reality of working for a nonprofit. 

Solo Parenting Takes More Planning

When my wife leaves for a work vacation, I start thinking about it weeks ahead. I have to. My work schedule isn’t something I can easily move around. I have lunches, dinners, meetings, and a commute that takes up a good part of the day. There’s no big open block of time where I can just push things around. 

Then you add in the kids’ schedules. School drop-offs and pickups, ballet, homework, meals, bedtime routines, and everything else. It all has to be planned out ahead of time. It sounds like a lot, and it is, but we adjust and make it work. 

One thing that really stands out during this time is the mental load. When both parents are home, responsibilities get split without thinking much about it. One person handles clean up while the other gets the kids ready for bed. One remembers the calendar and school details while the other manages something else. Fun fact, I totally forgot my daughter had ballet today. She knew but decided to purposely tell me after it was already too late. Clever. 

When it’s just you, that balance disappears fast. You’re thinking about everything. What’s for dinner, what needs to be packed for school lunch, and how you’re going to fit your work into all of it. Everything stacks, and there’s no real break from it. My wife just posted pictures of her and her team paragliding..... how fun.

What the Day to Day Actually Looks Like

The reality of these days is that they can feel chaotic but like controlled chaos. One kid is hungry, another is tired, something gets spilled, and your phone is going off with work messages you can’t ignore. You’re trying to cook something quickly while also making sure everything is ready for the next day.

What ends up happening is that you simplify things. For example, my daughter goes to school in a ponytail each day and my son eats cereal for breakfast each day. In the morning my daughter says “let me guess, I have to get school lunch.” I confidently answer yes not knowing what it is only that I don’t have time to make anything for her. You stop trying to make everything perfect and focus on what actually needs to get done. Some nights are smoother than others, but every night gets handled.

The Part I Actually Look Forward To

As stressful as this can be, there’s a part of it that I genuinely enjoy. It’s the time I get with my kids when it’s just us. There’s something different about it. It’s hard to describe, but it feels more connected.

They open up more. They want to sit closer. The conversations feel more relaxed. It’s like we’re all a little more present with each other. I also let them have more say during this time. They pick what we eat for dinner, which usually ends up being mac and cheese.  They also decide where they want to sleep. Sometimes it’s their rooms, sometimes it’s our bedroom, and sometimes it’s the living room. They love the change and it’s super exciting to them.

It turns into something that feels less like a strict routine and more like just spending time together.

Support Systems Matter

One thing that makes a huge difference for me is having a strong support system. My parents show up in a big way when I need help, and I don’t take that for granted at all. They are quite literally the best damn grandparents, and my kids love them.

My daughter’s first word was actually “Ball-Pa” for grandpa. Yes, it was insulting to my wife and I (totally joking). But it tells you everything you need to know about their relationship. Having that kind of support makes a huge difference during times like this and pretty much at all times. They show up and also begin preparing for my wife’s work vacations weeks ahead of time. It's literally a family production. 

The Trade Off

It’s easy to joke about the five-star hotels and the nice dinners, and I do, but there’s a trade off here. While my wife is getting those experiences, she’s also missing time at home. Okay, never mind she just called to tell me her and her team are going to a huge festival that is like a giant party that the entire city puts on. She’s not missing home at all. She's extending the trip lol. 

While I’m dealing with the stress of managing everything, I’m also getting more one on one time with the kids than I normally would. It’s a different kind of experience that nobody would want to miss except …. my wife. Totally joking again. She's gonna be so mad....while she's in paradise.

Solo Parenting as a Dad

If you’re in the middle of this too, just know… it feels like a lot for me sometimes also. That doesn’t mean you’re messing it up. It just means you’re in it. The kids aren’t going to remember if everything ran on schedule or if dinner was delicious. They’re going to remember the random fun, the chaos, and the time they got with you. The nights you said yes to something small that felt big to them. 

So yeah, tell me what’s working, what’s not, or even tell me I’m completely wrong. I can take it. Shoot me an email at savepointdad@gmail.com or find me on Instagram @SavePointDad. Tell a friend.