The Ones Who Knew Us Before Life

There’s something almost tribal about the people who knew me when I was young.

I’m talking about the ones who knew me when everyday I would wake up just looking to get into some neighborhood trouble but with dreams I couldn't explain. Friends that knew what kind of cereal I liked, gave me random nicknames, and together we would go swimming at random hotel pools because none of our houses had air conditioning; being poor sucks.

Those people are a baseline for me. Almost like the original version of my story before life added all the bullshit.

Different Phases, Same Players

We all go through phases. School, college, work, marriage, kids. Each stage brings new people into our circle; coworkers, college friends, and other parents from our kids' activities. This last year my circle has expanded more than I am used to and that's a good thing (I guess lol). God, I know they are reading this now with a sly smirk on their faces.

But every now and then, I’ll see the dudes I grew up with. And it’s crazy how instantly everything snaps back into place. We go literally years without seeing each other, and yet within minutes it feels like we just walked home from 7/11 again.

The conversations jump between the present and the past like we’re flipping through SavePoints. We talk about kids and jobs, but mostly we laugh about dumb shit we did before life got serious. There’s no showing off. No need to impress. Just familiarity and truth.

It’s grounding. A reminder that although life gets complicated, we’re still the same people who once shared nachos, Icees, and stupid AF ideas that somehow made the best memories.

Honest Realities

The older I get, the more I realize how quickly life changed course for us. Yes, It happened quickly; but I can’t pinpoint the moment. None of the guys I grew up with went to college. Some had families early; some are still trying to figure out if they want a family. A few struggled hard. A few more are in prison. If I’m honest, I still question why people like me get lucky and get breaks in life while some of them just didn’t get any. Not one.

It’s humbling to admit, but if we hadn’t grown up in the same neighborhood, we wouldn’t have crossed paths as adults. Our lives, interests, and routines don’t overlap in any way. But because we did grow up together there’s an unspoken loyalty there.

When I’m with them it makes me think and actually scares me how much of life is circumstance. Being in the right place at the right time. But maybe more importantly, not being in the wrong place. One bad decision or one bad night and your path can look completely different.

It makes me grateful and just aware.

Good people make bad choices

Seeing the people who knew you before life happened is humbling. They remember who you were when you didn’t have to try to be anything. They saw the real version, the one with no filter, no résumé, no expectations. 

And that matters, because it keeps you honest. It’s easy to get caught up chasing goals, validation, and that on going sense of progress. But then you chat with someone who knew you when all your clothes were from the flea market and there's a different sense of honesty that comes out. It helps me realize I’ve done okay. Not perfect. Not exactly what I imagined. But okay, and that’s worth a lot.

They remind me that good people make bad choices. That not everyone who messes up deserves to be written off. We know each other’s stories, the struggles, the family stuff, the growing pains. 

We all carry pieces of our past into who we are today, but those friendships are the living proof. They’re roots. The people who remind you of who you were when life was simpler, smaller, maybe a little more chaotic, but real.

I think that’s why, when I see my old friends, there’s always this quiet moment, when everyone looks around and knows we’re lucky to still be here and to have made it through the bullshit. Still laughing. Still connected. Still alive to remember. The very idea of this blog came from when I was at my uncle’s funeral and I chatted with a buddy of mine who I grew up with. He shared some details about when the literal SWAT Team smoked bombed his house and arrested him. Even something as serious as that can end in laughter.

There’s a strange peace in realizing that even if your lives went completely different directions, the memory of growing up together keeps that connection alive.

Connection Doesn’t Have To Be Constant

I know when we are all together it looks odd. I am the one who seems to stand out and doesn’t quite seem to belong.  So when I see those old friends  when I laugh until my stomach hurts and realize we’ve barely talked about anything important I remind myself this is important. Connection doesn’t have to be constant to be real. (Okay, so I know I have heard this somewhere and can't remember. I even tried Googling and found nothing.) Sometimes the friendships that last the longest are the ones that don’t demand attention, just acknowledging each other and the connection we will always have. 

We did OK, Kid

We all want to be understood, but being remembered hits deeper sometimes. 

So yeah, life pulls us in different directions. Priorities change. But every so often, take the time to reconnect with the people who knew you before all the damn noise. Because when the world feels complicated, those old connections remind you of something simple: You’ve come a long way. You’ve made it through. 

Anthony Hawkins was once asked if he could go back in time what would he say to his younger self? His answer has always stuck with me. “We did OK, Kid.”

To the people who knew me before I knew myself, thank you. For reminding me that life isn’t about what we’ve built, but who we built it with. We may go years without talking, but every time we reconnect, it feels like no time has passed at all. That’s the kind of friendship you can’t buy, can’t replace, and can’t explain to anyone who hasn’t lived it.

As always, thank you for reading my random thoughts. I always hope that it was worth your time. If so, please share this blog with a friend or family member. Watching this thing grow means a lot to me. Follow me on Instagram at SavePointDad or shoot me an email at SavepointDad@gmail.com if you ever want to chat.