Leaving a Job After 10 Years

So, I just left a job that I have been at for about ten years. When I started, my career was different, my life was different, and I definitely didn't know nearly as much as I thought I did. Over those years I grew professionally, became a dad, built relationships, took on bigger responsibilities, made mistakes, and eventually became one of the people who actually knew how shit worked. Then one day I packed up my shit, turned everything in, said goodbye, and this big ass part of my life just stopped.

I didn't leave because I hated my job. There wasn't some dramatic final straw or boss I wanted to tell to go fuck themselves. I cared about the organization, believed in the work, and liked a lot of the people there. Well, a few of them. I simply reached a point where another opportunity made sense for me and more importantly my family, so I took it.

You Don't Realize How Much Your Job Becomes Part of Your Life

People love saying, "It's just a job," and I get what they mean, but after ten years that's bullshit. Work slowly makes its way into almost every part of your life. Your spouse knows the names of people they've never met because they've heard hundreds of stories about them. They know who you like, who drives you God damn crazy, and exactly who you're talking about when you walk through the door and say, "XXXX is useless”.

I knew which meetings mattered, who could get something done, who needed three to ten reminders, and who somehow turned every 10 minute conversation into an hour. Then suddenly you don't work there anymore, and that life disappears.  I miss that familiarity. I miss knowing exactly where I belonged every morning and being really fucking good at navigating a place.

They Will Replace Your Ass Quickly

Nothing reinforces that lesson faster than leaving. Because your job moves on fast as hell.

This isn't me being bitter. It's exactly what your work is supposed to do. If a company completely falls apart every time somebody quits, that company has a problem.

The transition starts fast as hell. Responsibilities get reassigned. Someone else gets your projects. Future meetings disappear from your calendar because, well, you're not going to be there. People need your files, passwords, contacts, and information. Eventually your laptop is turned in, your access gets shut off, and your name starts disappearing from things.

Work has a weird way of convincing us we're irreplaceable. We answer emails at night, work through lunch, and think about problems on weekends. Then you leave and the meeting still happens. The project keeps moving. The email gets answered.

"Stay in Touch" Is Mostly Bullshit

Everyone says the same thing when you leave.

"We have to stay in touch." Ya, I’ll pass lol.

I don't even think that's necessarily bad. Some relationships exist because two people spend eight hours a day in the same place. You can genuinely like somebody, care about them, and enjoy working with them without that relationship surviving once the thing connecting you disappears. It doesn't mean anyone was fake.

But then there are the people that text after you've left. They call to ask how the new job is going. They want to grab lunch even though neither of you can put it on a work calendar anymore. They send you something stupid because they know it'll make you laugh. They just like you.

Those people become incredibly obvious after you leave, and I'm thankful as hell for them. It reminded me of something I wrote in The Ones Who Knew Us Before Life: life keeps changing the circumstances around our friendships.

Can We Talk About Exit Interviews?

Then there's the exit interview.

I understand the concept. Someone is leaving, so this is the perfect time to get completely honest feedback about leadership, culture, pay, and all the other shit employees normally discuss privately after meetings.

But I kept thinking, how many times have you actually seen something change because somebody gave feedback during an exit interview?

Think about everyone who has left companies you've worked for. Some probably had real concerns. Maybe multiple employees left because of the same issue. They sat down, explained everything, somebody took notes, everyone thanked them for their honesty, and then Monday morning arrived and everybody went right back to doing the same shit.

I'm sure good organizations use exit interviews to identify patterns and improve. But I also think employees sometimes imagine their exit interview as the final scene in a movie where they're finally going to reveal everything that's wrong and the entire organization will stare silently before erupting into applause. Probably not.

Give honest feedback. Be respectful. Say what you think needs to be said. It's not your problem anymore.

I Owe That Place a Lot

I don't want any of this to sound like I walked away thinking the organization was lucky to have survived without me.

I owe a huge amount of my career to my time there. I was trusted with opportunities that I sure as hell wasn’t ready for. I learned how to manage major projects, build relationships, navigate difficult situations, lead people, and eventually become someone other people came to for advice.

But That Place Owes a Lot to Me Too

This is the part employees sometimes forget. Yes, my organization invested in me. I invested in it too.

I gave almost ten years of my life to that place. I brought ideas, relationships, creativity, energy, and a lot of work I'm genuinely proud of. Sometimes we talk about good employers as if they're doing us a favor by allowing us to work there. They gave me a paycheck, benefits, and experience. In return, I gave them my time, skills, and commitment.

It was a trade. A really good trade.

A Good Job Might Be Supposed to Prepare You to Leave

I think we sometimes misunderstand loyalty because we assume a successful employment relationship should last forever.

Maybe one sign of a great job is that it eventually prepares you for something bigger.

Every responsibility you take on becomes experience. There is nothing noble about making less money forever because you don't want your employer to be inconvenienced by replacing you. That is honestly stupid AF.

Final SavePoint

I loved my old job and I am thankful for it. The organization moved on, exactly like it was supposed to. And so did I.

So, if you're thinking about leaving a job you've been at forever, remember that the weird feeling afterward doesn't mean you made the wrong decision. Watching your employer move on doesn't mean you weren't important. Being replaced doesn't erase what you contributed. They will replace you because they should.

Thank you for reading SavePointDad and continuing to support this. If this reminded you of a job you left, someone considering a career change, or a former coworker who actually followed through on "stay in touch," share it with them. Every share, follow, comment, and subscription helps more people find SavePointDad, and I appreciate the hell out of it.